Super Smash Bros: When Universes Unite
by brickthrower 21
Summary: “You… you know what this means, don’t you?” "Yes. It's begun."
1. Chapter 1

**SUPER SMASH BROS.**

**WHEN UNIVERSES UNITE.**

Yeah, so here's my two cents towards smash bros fan fiction. This first chapter is rather… cheesy, I think. But FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, don't let that put you off. It WILL get better in the next chapter. This I assure you.

* * *

Anyway, on with the show!

In a dimension, far, far away…

There's a rock.

What is on this rock? A mansion and a garden. That's it.

Apart from the mansion's contents and a fake holographic sky, that's all that exists in this dimension. So nothing interesting then.

Apart from the fact the mansion can generate inter-dimensional portals…

A resident of the mansion sighed. He was waiting… for **THEM.**

He wished he could start now. But he knew he couldn't because they would have to wait till **THEM** to make the first move before they, or anyone else, could destroy **THEM**, and ensure inter-dimensional safety.

"You should really take a break..."

Silence. The person turned round.

"I mean, it's probably not even gonna happen in your lifetime…"

"If you say so dad."

"We've been waiting for 20 generations..."

"Well, that's long enough. It has to happen some time dad..."

"Whatever Brawl…"

Brawl smiled. One day, **THEM** would appear, and he would fulfil his purpose for existence. What he was made for. What everyone in the mansion was made for. And he would go on an adventure like no other. An adventure that over all dimensions. Boy, he would just love to take the inter-dimensional portal generator thingy out for a spin, but that would be irresponsible at the best of times. At the worst of times, someone could sneak into the mansion and generally mess the entire space-time continuum. Or steal his stuff.

Brawl looked like an average teen. He had dark curly hair, a sky blue shirt, purple trousers and a white hat. Both the hat and shirt had a strange symbol on them, a circle with two lines crossing in the bottom left corner.

He looked up at the screen. The mansion also had a screen that could show what was going on anywhere in any dimension. You could even watch people in the shower if you wished, but it was embarrassing if you caught. Even worse if the person started singing.

"Hey bro! Anything interesting happening?"

Brawl looked round. "Nope. Sorry Melee. But that blue guy is having an affair…"

Melee looked identical to his brother, save for lack of hat, an orange shirt and green jeans.

"Uh huh."

"And" he pointed a guy in a suit "he just came out the closet."

"THE PRESIDENT? REALLY?"

"Yep."

Melee laughed. Brawl grinned.

"Trust a republican to do that and refuse to promote homosexuals."

This time Brawl laughed. Melee however stared at the screen at a back empty alleyway somewhere. "Um… bro…" he mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"What the heck is that?" he pointed at the alleyway. Brawl looked. And saw a hole. Floating in midair.

Almost certainly a portal of some type. Brawl and melee glanced at each other. They had worried but intrigued looks on their faces. And then they saw one of **THEM**.

A purple, puppet like creature came out of the portal. It looked around, muttered, "it works. About damm time.", and went back in. the portal disappeared. And the two brothers froze.

Silence.

"You… you know what this means, don't you?" stuttered Melee, the younger brother, with a look of amazement on his face.

"Yes." Said Brawl, the older bro, with a look of OH MY GOD on his face. "It's begun."

…

"AWESOME! I'll get the party chips! WOOT!"

"HELL YEAH! Let's get started!" Brawl pressed the intercom button. "Ladies and gentlemen, get the guest rooms ready. The prophecy HAS BEGUN!"

Five seconds later there was an incredibly loud cheer as people got ready to help save everything… from **THEM**.

Brawl got up and dashed to the portal thingy. He picked up a checklist and looked at it eagerly, almost drooling. Adrenaline pumped through his brain and muscles, ready to go.

"They're really done it? SERIOUSLY?" cried Brawl's farther, who was called Smash, a man with Chuck Norris facial hair and almost military clothes. He was excited and worried and amazed and incredibly annoyed that he wasn't in charge when it happened all at the same time.

Brawl looked round with a huge grin. "I told you so…"

"I'm so proud…" continued his farther after a pause. But Brawl wasn't listening as he was hurriedly tapping numbers in the computer. He slammed ENTER and a portal appeared.

Brawl turned round and waved. "Wish me luck!"

"Go get them! Kick some butt!" cried someone in the next room.

"HELL YEAH!" cried someone else.

"And with that, I'm off." cried Brawl. "Adios, bemos!"

And he dashed through the portal… to another world.

_**CHAPTER 1 – THE JUMPMAN**_

"Mamma mia…"

A man in a red shirt and blue overalls was lying on the sofa. He was called, of course, Mario.

He was pondering how his last adventure had ended. He had taken the grand star that powered Bowser's galaxy and rescued princess Peach. Unfortunately the galaxy then collapsed, became a black hole, and consumed the whole universe. Luckily this resulted in the second big bang, and since all living beings are made of stardust, he, princess Peach and everyone in the universe were all reborn. Or something like that.

What worried him was that not only that he nearly destroyed the entire universe by accident, (not that anyone blamed him of course- he had no idea it would happen.) he didn't get a kiss from Peach.

Yes, he worried more over whether Peach liked him or not than the destruction of the entire universe. He kicked himself constantly for not getting his priorities right, but the truth was he was hopelessly in love with princess Peach. When he saw her sucked into the hole, for 30 seconds his biggest fear was realised- he was going to die without admitting his feelings for her. Yet when princess Peach saw he was alive, she just gave him a hug. Was she scared of kissing him in front of bowser? Was she trying not to provoke him into a second kidnapping? Or did she merely see him as "the guy who saves me all the time"?

Either way, he was losing his faith in his abilities. Was he losing his touch?

"Oh come on Mario, pull yourself togeth-a." said Mario to himself. "Ya just need-a recov-a from your last advent-cha. You're still a good-a jump-a as ev-a." he broke into a display of incredible jumping to prove it to himself. "You just need to take-a ya mind off-a things."

He thought about what he could do. Watch telly. Go into town. Or visit Peach.

He could visit peach, but all that would happen was that the princess would invite him to lunch, he would fail pathetically to admit his feelings for her, and he would go home kicking himself. For the 21st time.

Nothing good was on, so Mario went out. "You'll find the perfect time to tell her one day, Mario." He mumbled as he went out the door.

MEANWHILE…

"So it's working?" said what appeared to be a green and red tepee with eyes.

"Yes. But we can't get persific co-coordinates." said the purple puppet thing.

"Very well. Keep working. The hands will be pleased with this…"

BACK AT THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM…

Brawl emerged on the other side of the portal. He pointed what appeared to be a cross between a wii remote and a car key, and pressed a button. There was a _beep_, and then the portal disappeared.

"So, the adventure begins." Said the bright lad with a snug look. He looked round… question blocks, hills that went straight up, clouds with actual faces… yep, this was the mushroom kingdom. He spotted Mario's house and approached it. He checked the list and sure enough, Mario was the first name on the list. _One down, loads to go_...

He knocked on the door. No answer. "Hello? Anyone home? No? Bother." He hoped to god that Mario wasn't out saving the princess, as he would have to wait for ages if that were true. So were was Mario? Was he at the castle? No, he didn't visit the castle that often. He was probably in town, fixing a pipe or something. He was still a plumber, after all…

_Now this-a more like it, _thought Mario sipping his cappuccino. It was a lovely day, and he was listening to a street band play a jazzy tune. It was a perfect reminder of what he had saved. No wonder he stomped Goombas to save this place.

The song ended, everyone clapped, and somewhere someone said "excuse me, have you seen Mario around here?"

The plumber turned round and saw someone wearing what appeared to be a school uniform and an odd hat. "I'm right-a here-a." Said the plumber cheerfully to Brawl. He was pleased to see another human in the Mushroom kingdom, as most lived in Diamond city in another kingdom.

"Ah! Here you are! I was worried you had popped out to rescue Peach again!" Brawl chuckled. "Yeah, I always have to sort out loads of mail when I get back-a from Bowser bashing." Mario replied merrily, shaking hands with the stranger. "Your name?"

"Oh yes! It's Brawl. Congrats on your latest adventure, by the way." Said Brawl.

"Thanks."

"Now, I'll get straight to the point," muttered Brawl, "we need your help otherwise everything in existence is going to be turned into a trophy."

…

"Err... how? What's gonna happen?" said Mario, after a nervous pause.

"Well… perhaps we should go to my place."

Mario and Brawl walked towards where to the portal was. Mario, of course, had no idea that they were heading for a portal, or that Brawl came from a different dimension. He just thought they were heading to Brawl's house.

Brawl stopped outside Mario's house. "Oh yes, that reminds me. You'll need to pack."

"Why? Were we-a going?" said Mario, who was surprised by this request.

Brawl gave him an enigmatic smile. "You'll find out…"

Mario opened the drawers and started getting out spare overalls. "Is Mario going somewhere?" said a robotic voice. It was FLUDD.

"Yep."

"Oh. Would… Mario be in need of assistance?"

Mario thought about it. If something was threatening all of existence, he needed all the help he could get…

"Sure FLUDD. You can come too." He said, putting him in the suitcase.

"No problemao!" replied FLUDD, mimicking Mario's accent.

Mario chuckled, closed the suitcase, and was about to go down the stairs when he had an idea. He reached under the dresser and grabbed a yellow cape. He remembered when he first grabbed a cape feather and received that cape. Wearing it allowed him to fly, and pull off a powerful spin attack. Now days, it had lost it flying powers, but he could still pull off the spin attack. He stuffed it in his pocket, and went out the door.

Brawl leaned next to the door, waiting for him when he came out. "You ready?" "Yeah. LET,SA GO!" replied Mario. Brawl pulled something out of his pocket.

"Okay, but first I need to do this…" in one quick he put a microchip on his head and hit it with a hammer, embedding it in side his head.

Mario cried in pain, but his voice was soon replaced with static. "Don't panic, it's just calibrating…" said Brawl. "Your voice will be back to normal in a minute." Which it did.

"Wha- what the heck was that?!" cried Mario. He was completely confused now.

"An ultra effective translator chip. It allows you to understand anyone and anyone to understand you. Believe me, you'll need it." Said Brawl matter-of-factly.

"BUT WERE ARE WE GOING??"

Brawl finally revealed the portal. "Well… to a lot of alternate dimensions. Are you happy with that answer?"

Mario blinked.

"Yeah."

Brawl stepped out the other side of the portal with Mario "welcome to the smash manor…"

"So the wandering hero returns!" it was Smash. "And with Mario too! Great! Any trouble?"

"Nah…"

There was a cheer from the other side of the room. Brawl's friends were celebrating his return.

"Brawl's back!"

"Go Brawl! Go Brawl!"

"You're number onnnne!"

A girl ran up to Brawl and kissed him. She had red and white hair and a yellow dress.

"Aw… Parasol…" said Brawl. "I was only away for 15 minutes!"

"I'm just happy for your success…" soothed Parasol.

"Well, thanks, baby." He returned the kiss, to a chorus of "ooh"s and "ah"s.

"All right! All right! We've got to settle down now! Mario's confused and we have to tell him the legend! Or was it the prophecy?" cried Smash.

"Yeah! Give-a me-a the answers!" said Mario.

"Well, here's the story so far…"

_**THERE WAS ONCE AN INCREDIBLY POWERFULL BEING…**_

_**HIS NAME WAS MR MIYAMOTO.**_

_**HE USED HIS INCREDIBLE POWER TO CREATE ALL THAT EXCISTS…**_

_**FORGET GOD. FORGET THE ANCIENTS. MR MIYAMOTO WAS GOD.**_

_**BUT… GODS ARE MOST DEFINENTLY NOT IMMORTAL.**_

_**ONE DAY HE TOOK OFF HIS GLOVES AND WENT TO MAKE A CUP OF TEA.**_

_**I'M SERIOUS.**_

_**I'M NOT JOKING.**_

_**STOP LAUGHING.**_

_**HIS GLOVES, HOWEVER, BEING SUBJECTED TO THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF MIYAMOTO, CAME TO LIVE.**_

_**THE RIGHT ONE WAS CLEAN AND SANE. HE IS CALLED MASTER HAND.**_

_**THE LEFT ONE WAS MOULDY AND BONKERS. HE IS CALLED CRAZY HAND.**_

_**THEY THOUGHT THAT IT WAS STUPID THAT MORTALS HAD FREE WILL.**_

_**SO THEY STARTED TURNING EVERYTHING INTO TROPHIES SO THEY COULD TOY WITH THEM AND COMMAND THEM.**_

_**MR MIYAMOTO CONFRONTED THEM AND THERE WAS MUCH BATTLING.**_

_**EVENTUALLY THE HANDS WERE SEALED IN A DIMIONSION CALLED THE FINAL DESTNATION.**_

_**BUT MR MIYAMOTO AND THE HANDS HAD LOST THEIR IMMORTALY AND OTHER POWERS... LEADING TO ONE SMALL PROBLEM.**_

_**GLOVES DON'T DIE OF OLD AGE.**_

_**HUMANS DO.**_

_**SEEING THE END WAS NIGH FOR HIM, MR MIYAMOTO CREATED A DIMENSION FOR ACESSING OTHER DIMENSIONS, POPULATED IT WITH A RACE CALLED THE SUPER SMASH BROS… AND TOLD THEM OF THE FUTURE.**_

_**THE HANDS CANNOT BREAK OUT OF FINAL DESTINATION. BUT INSTEAD HE WILL CREATE AN ARMY TO DRAG ALL EXCISTENCE INTO HIS DIMENSION. THE ARMY CAN BREAK OUT. NOT THE HANDS.**_

_**IF NO-ONE ENTERS FINAL DESTNATION AND DESTROYS THE HANDS, THE INFINITE MONSTERS THE HANDS CONJOUR UP WILL SUCEED. BUT MOST PEOPLE WILL BE INSTANTLY BE TURNED INTO A TROPHY IF THE HANDS SEE HIM/HER/IT.**_

_**BUT THERE IS A HANDFULL OF PEOPLE WHO CAN RESIST THE TROPHY MAGIC. THEY ARE CALLED SMASHERS. THEY ARE ALL BRILLANT FIGHTERS, AND WHEN ALL OF THEM COME TOGETHER AND ASSEMBLE THE KEY, THEY WILL BEAT THE HANDS AND ENSURE INTER DIMIONSAL SAFTEY.**_

_**HE GAVE THE SUPER SMASH BROS A LIST OF THE SMASHERS NAMES AND ADDRESSES, HOW TO ASSEMBLE THE KEY, TAUGHT THEM THE MANY WORLDS THEY WOULD VISIT, GAVE THEM ALL HIS KNOWLEDGE…**_

_**AND EVENTUALLY DIED.**_

_**WHEN THE ARMY MAKE THE FIRST MOVE, ONLY THEM WILL THE KEY BE ABLE TO BREAK INTO THE HOME OF THE HANDS. ON THAT DAY THE SMASHERS MUST BE GATHERED…**_

_**AND THEY MUST SUCEED.**_

_**FOR IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF THE INFINITELY WONDROUS MR MIYAMOTO HIMSELF, "FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T FUCK THIS ONE UP…"**_

"So… you guys are…"

"**THE SUPER SSSSMMMMAAASSSHHH BROTHEEERRRSSS!"** cried most of the smash bros. Except Brawl, who just said "do we have to do that every time we say those words?"

"And I'm… a smasher? Well, I am good at fighting…" Mario smiled.

"Yep! But there is a lot more, and they live in dimensions even you haven't heard of or imaged!" chuckled Brawl.

_So that's what the packing and the microchip was for… this is goanna be a biggie!_ Thought Mario.

"Anyway, I'm just gathering the smashers up, and I'd like your assistance in case said army turns up to try and stop us. Or if they try to use their subspace bombs behind our backs."

"Huh?"

"Subspace bombs are what they use to cut chunks of space and warp them to final des in one fell swoop. I'm Melee, by the way." Said Melee, of course. He shook hands with Mario.

"Nice to meet-a you-a."

Brawl was fiddling with the buttons on the computer again, looking at the list as if it was a treasure map. "Well, no use hanging around. Hey, Mario! How'd you like to visit Hyrule?"

Mario beamed. "Wherever that it is, I'm coming."

The portal came up. "When what are we waiting for?" said Brawl with glee.

They ran to the portal. "Lets-a go!" Mario cried as they went through the portal.

* * *

Yeah, sorry about Mario's accent and spelling mistakes if I made any…

So, if my some miracle you like it, please review so I can relax in the comfort of knowing I did something good. FLAMERS WILL HAVE BRICKS THROWN AT THEM. Hence the name. You heard me. Good night!


	2. Chapter 2

Arrgh! I forgot to add a disclaimer in the first chapter! I'm goanna get sued! Well, here goes nothing…

All relevant characters, settings and stuff belong to Nintendo, Sega, Komani, and all the original stuff belongs to me. HANDS OFF MY BREAD! XD.

Oh yeah, sorry for lack of borders in the last chapter. Didn't really know how those things worked when I uploaded it.

And, we have the first fight scene! But it's not exactly amazing, but it'll do.

Is that it? Yeah. Go ahead and read, people.

* * *

_**CHAPTER 2 – A SWORD, A MOUSE, AND A BLOB**_

A teenager in green clothes and cap was returning an incredibly powerful sword to its resting place. It was called the master sword. He was of course, Link.

He was returning from one of his many quests to save Hyrule, and was returning the swords for future encounters. He smiled as he thought of going home to rest.

"AAARRRGGGHHH!!"

Link looked up- a portal had appeared 10 feet above him, and now two people were in the process of falling out of it. And they landed right in front of him.

Brawl cursed his lack of typing skills, while Mario merely mumbled "mama mia…"

Brawl looked up at Link and couldn't believe his luck. "Hey! You're Link right?" Link nodded slowly, confused why two men had fallen out of a hole in the sky.

"We need your help. And you better keep the master sword- it's going to be a great help…"

Link was amazed. The guy knew his name and about the master sword. This was most defiantly another quest.

"(Sigh) here we go again." Said the swordsman.

"So I'm one of the few people who can slay these hands?"

Brawl had just finished telling him about the hands, Miyamoto and the super smash bros. He had also fitted him his translation chip. His allowed him to speak English and hyrulian and any other language.

"Yeah."

Link stood up. "Then I'll help you to ensure Hyrule's safety. But one question-"

"Shoot."

"Who the heck is he?" he gestured to Mario.

"That's Mario, another smasher. In his dimension he's the hero of the mushroom kingdom thanks to his incredible jumping skills." Brawl explained. "Mario, this is Link, the hero of time who saves hyrule from Ganondorf, an evil warlock."

Mario and Link shook hands.

"Anyway, we gotta go and find the next smasher. You ready?"

"Yep." Said Link. But something still stirred in his mind. _How does Mario save the world just by jumping?_

Another portal, another world.

"Welcome to Kanto!" exclaimed Brawl to Mario and Link. They were in a forest. Brawl pulled out a radar thingy and listened to it. He turned round and said, "before we go on any further, I should tell you what we're looking for. It's a pokemon called Pikachu."

"A what?"

"Pokemon are the strange creatures that roam this land. There are many types of Pokemon. The humans here catch them, tame them, and then use them for various things. Some research them, some keep them as pets, but most use them for fights."

"What-a does-a this Pikachu look like?" said Mario.

Brawl showed him a picture of a yellow mouse with a lighting shaped tail.

"Strange looking creature. So we just catch one of these Pikachus?" said Link.

"Sadly it ain't that easy. We have to look for a persific Pikachu with trophy magic resistance or whatever you call it." Brawl held up the radar. "We can use this to find it."

"When we better get going. I don't what to be searching all day…"

The pesky Pokemon in question was a rather pesky Pikachu that after hundreds of battles with trainers, who wanted the rare, popular Pokemon for their collection, had still hadn't been caught. He trashed the weak Pokemon and tricked the stronger ones to falling into traps, allowing him to make his escape. In one memorable encounter with an Onix, he had run into a small hole behind a waterfall while the Onix ran head first into the wall concealed by the waterfall. It was knocked unconscious, resulting in a surprising victory that he boasted about to all his mates.

He loved the disappointment on trainer's faces. He loved the fact he was practically a legend.

He was at the river when he heard voices saying, "There he is!" He turned round and grinned. _Great, more trainers to taste my humble pie…_but to his disappointment, they had no pokeballs. _Ah well, at least I don't have to fight…_

It is scientifically proven that, while most pokemon can only speak what is called pokeish, they can understand both their language and English. The reasoning is simple. It is impossible to have different tones of voice for the hundreds of commands that a trainer can give. Plus, if you use the same tone of voice for different commands, the Pokemon understands perfectly, no matter how long you have kept it. It was this incredible fact that made Pikachu fail to realise that Brawl, Mario and Link could understand him perfectly.

"Pikachu! We like your help with something…"

"Oh great." Pikachu rolled his eyes. "A nerd who thinks he's the next Doctor Doolittle. If you're trying to test a drug on me, I'll fry you."

"I'm not a nerd."

Pikachu froze. How did he know what he had said?

"Did you just… understand what I said?" he said, amazed.

"Yep."

"Sure."

"Hearing-a you loud and clear."

Pikachu was shocked. Not only did the nerd understand him, but the red and green guys could too.

"Is this a dream?"

"You could pinch yourself…"suggested Brawl.

"With THESE?!" Pikachu held out his stubby, fingerless hands.

"No, Pikachu, this is not a dream. We have translator chips that allow us to understand anyone and anyone understand us. And we need you to help save the world…"

Pikachu paused. He usually was against taking orders from humans, but they were asking him politely, and he really wanted to know how they got those microchips. In fact, if he could have one, then he could speak English and would be a very happy little electric mouse indeed.

"I'm listening."

"Wow! I can speak English! Awesome! Thank you!" said Pikachu, happier than he'd ever been in his entire life. He had, of course, given a translation chip and told about the hands.

"No problem. Now we really have to get to the next smasher… so if you don't mind, could you stop hugging me so I can use the keyboard!" said an annoyed Brawl.

"Oh yeah. Soooorrrry!" Pikachu got off him, singing, "I can speak English! I can speak English!"

"God, the things I do to save existence…"

"O MY GOD! IT'S PIKACHU!" said an overly excited girl's voice.

"Oh no…" said Brawl. He had been dreading the "crazy girls", as he called them, to dote on some of the smashers. Three girls, called Clean Sweep, Backstabber and Meteor, were already cuddling Pikachu, mumbling things like "so cute." and other girly burble. Pikachu looked fed up. If there was one thing he hated, it was doting girls.

"Ladies, please get off me!"

"Oi! Crazy girls! I think he said GET OFF HIM!" shouted Brawl.

"But he's so adorable…"cooed Clean Sweep, a girl with brown hair and black and white striped clothes.

"I don't think he's the affectionate type." Joked Link.

"Oh shut up bl…"started Meteor, a girl with flame themed clothes and red and black hair, but stopped at the sight of Link's face. Silence…

"O MY GOD! IT'S LINK!!"

_Oh, bugger…_

"HOLY CRUD! LINK, RUN! THEY'RE GONNA TRY AND SNOG… too late." The three girls were already on top of Link, trying to force open the entrance to his tonsils, so to speak.

"AAARRRGGGHHH!! GET THEM OFF ME!!"

"But we love you so much…"

"GET OFF HIM! IT'S VIOLATING AT LEAST TWENTY LAWS! I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONES, BUT ITS DEFINTLY TWENTY!" cried Brawl.

"Mamma mia!"

"Eww…"

"RIGHT! YOU THREE! OUT OF HERE! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU! YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO SEDUCE A SMASHER LIKE THAT!!" it was Smash, trying to enforce some sanity back into the room.

"But I wanna snog link!" Cried Backstabber, a girl whose hair and clothes were green at the front, but yellow at the back.

"OOOUUUTTT!!"

And with that, the three crazy girls walked out the room, blowing kisses at link.

"Phew…"

Link was now covered in lipstick. "What the heck was that all about?" he shuddered at what had just passed.

"Sorry about that. It's just that that lot chose you as their pin-up." Said Smash.

"Right. Should I be pleased or afraid?"

"Afraid. **VERY**afraid." Said Brawl with a scared look on his face. "Those girls drink more cappuccino than a nuclear power plant makes electric. It's physically impossible for those girls to NOT be hyper. I should know. It's scientifically proven."

There was silence as everyone tried to recover from the disturbing events that had just happened.

"Thanks dad."

"Not a problem. Can't have them interfering with your work. I'll have a talk with there parents."

"See ya."

Smash left the room, muttering something about kids today should be banned from all adult drinks in existence. Especially girls.

"Well… back to work. Any thing to get away from them." Said Brawl, resuming his typing at last.

"You can say that again." Said Link, wiping the lipstick off his face.

Kirby was asleep, dreaming of cheesecake as usual. And as usual, he ate the dream bubble it was in, only to be disappointed to find it was imagery cheesecake. Imagery cheesecake was his least favourite cheesecake flavour.

He got up and decided to get some orange juice. He drunk his orange juice, rubbing his eyes to get the cheesecake crumbs he had messily dropped out of his eyes.

_KNOCK! KNOCK!_

Funny. He didn't usually get many visitors. _I hope king Dedede isn't trying to steal everybody's food again…_

He opened the door. He saw a yellow mouse, a teenager in a green tunic, a teenager with a black hat, and a man in blue overalls and a red shirt.

"Hello. May I come in?" said Brawl.

The pink blob, saying the only word he knew-"puyo!"-gestured them to come inside.

They came in and sat at the table. Kirby went to the kitchen, and returned with cups of tea. "Puyo!" he said happily.

"Err… Brawl…"whispered Pikachu. "Have the chips gone wrong, or does he keep saying puyo! All the time?"

"Oh! No, it's just that it's the only word Kirby knows how to speak." Said Brawl.

"Puyo?" Kirby had a confused look on his face.

"Oh! Yes. You're probably wondering what we're here for. Well, we need you're help to save the world."

"Puyo?" Kirby looked surprised.

"It's a long story…"

MEANWHILE...

"It's ready. With specific coordinates and everything."

"Good. Set it up for pop star. It's about time we introduced ourselves…"

BACK AT KIRBY'S HOUSE…

"Puyo?"

"Yeah, you're one of them. Ready to go?"

"PUYO!" Kirby smiled and did a back flip.

"That's the spirit. Now hold still."

_BONK! _Brawl fitted the chip.

Again, there was static, and then Kirby's voice went back to normal. "What the… HEY! I CAN TALK! AWSESOME!"

"I know! I have one too!" Said Pikachu.

Brawl was going to explain what the chip did, but Kirby and Pikachu were too busy chatting about their newly acquired powers of speech. So with a smile on his face, he simply started walking back to the portal, with Mario, Link, Pikachu, and Kirby following him.

It was, as always, a crstyral clear day in green greens. "I have to say-a, I've hardly ev-a seen countryside as good-a as this-a." said Mario.

"Yeah, it looks almost like a painting." Replied Link.

Brawl yawned. Kirby and Pikachu were still chatting. _This is too easy. Surely the subspace army should have attacked by now… still, mustn't grumble…_

They walked onwards for a while, when a portal appeared out of nowhere it front of then.

"Finally! My legs were getting tired." Sighed Pikachu with relief.

"Huh? I thought the portal was further away?" questioned Link.

"That's because it isn't my portal…" said Brawl worriedly. It could only mean one thing…

What appeared to be a green and red tepee with eyes on a flying platform shot out of the portal and stopped high above them. "Good morning…" it said without emotion.

"YOU!" cried Brawl.

"Yes, it is I, the ancient minister. Commander of the subspace army. It's my job to make sure the…" he paused to find the right words. "Loyal creations of the almighty hands do their job properly and bring all of existence to learn a little lesson in… obedience?" he said the last word with immense pleasure.

"Shut it, tenty! Miyamoto created these worlds, and if he decided we have free will, we have free will! You can't interfere with other people's work just because everything you make is a mess of mindless darkness, and you know it!" shouted Brawl.

"LIES! The hands did all the hard work. They moulded, crafted, hammered, scraped, blasted, worked themselves to exhaustion, and this is how they're creations thank them? Miyamoto never lifted a finger! He just drew the blueprints, and then toddled off to make a cup of tea!" cried the Ancient Minister.

"Okay, (a) they weren't alive in the first place, so they couldn't have been exhausted, (b) it's hard to thank a guy that's trying to take your brain away, and (c), if Miyamoto did the blueprints, then he deserves to say what happens to said property!" retorted Brawl.

"Well then! You'll learn! You will become the hands puppets, and you will obey their every command, like all puny mortals! Men!" he cried. A bunch of purple gunk flowed out, and formed a battalion of purple puppets.

"Primids." muttered Brawl, who recognised the strange creatures.

"You are correct. Look carefully, as it is the face of your defeat!" said the Ancient Minister.

"That's the face of our defeat? What did-a the hands use-a, paper Mache?" chuckled Mario. This comment caused considerable offence to the Ancient Minister and the primids, as the Minister snarled, and one of the primid charged at the group of smashers screaming. A quick one-two-three sword combo from Link, and the attacker was flung into a tree, where it promptly disintegrated.

"Looks like they're strong as paper Mache too." Chuckled Link.

"Enough of these games! Prepare to attack men!" cried the Minister. The primid got into charging position.

"Bring it on! Those lumps of junk are gonna taste a piece of my… ah." It suddenly dawned on Brawl that he was completely unarmed.

"Forgot something, Mr Brawl?" chuckled the Minister. A few primids laughed too.

"Ahem. Guys? Could you (groan) protect me for a bit? I'm kind of useless with my fists." Brawl was embarrassed about being helpless. It took away his edge.

"No problem." Said Kirby.

The primids charged, and the four heroes prepared for an interesting fight…

Pikachu struck first, with a thundershock that hit at least ten primid. Link threw a bomb at them. Mario threw a few fireballs to incinerate a few primid, while Kirby turned into a fireball himself and charged into the purple mass, bowling a portion over. Then things got really interesting.

Now they were right in the middle of the puppet army. Mario did his spin attack, clearing a good space for him. He quickly pulled out FLUDD and blasted the surrounding primids onto their backs. He quickly pulled into an impressive jumping combo, stomping the pathetic things flat as a pancake. Link was impressed. _So that's why his jumping is so famed _he thought. He pulled his bow and shot an arrow that went straight clean through the heads of a line of primid. He then slashed at some primid with his sword, finishing with a sword spin that sent them flying.

Pikachu used thunder to clear the area, then skull bashed his way to Kirby, who was laying into some primid with his mallet and clearly enjoying himself.

"Having any trouble over here, Kirby?" asked Pikachu, causally electrocuting some primid.

"Nah. These primid are softer than squash. Wonder what they taste like…" Kirby did his classic inhale move and a whole load of primid disappeared into his mouth.

Pikachu blinked. "Wow. I'd hate to get between you and your lunch."

Unforntly Kirby had just found out the hard way that primid don't taste very nice. He pulled a face and spat them out as a star, taking out another bunch of primid. "EEEWWW! They taste like paper Mache as well!"

"Help!"

Brawl had managed to stay out of the battleground for a while, but a bunch of primid waiting for a shot at the smashers had finally noticed him hiding behind a tree and promptly started chasing after him.

Pikachu used his agility to leap over some primid, while Kirby careened though them with his mallet. Link meanwhile waded through the army with his sword, hoping that Brawl could hold on a little longer. However it was Mario who got there first, by jumping on the heads of the primids. A few of them try to lunge on him, but were immediately met by a super jump punch, and were sent flying into the clouds. Mario arrived at the scene and used his cape to spin the primid around. It took a moment for the idiots to realise they were facing the wrong way, but by then they met the attacks of Link, Kirby and Pikachu. BAM. Dead.

"Um… thanks, guys." Mumbled Brawl.

"Hey, no problemo! We can't save the world without your portals, right?" said Mario.

"Yeah! It's our job, after all!" replied Pikachu, happily.

CLANG! Primid met sword.

"Err, guys, could we concentrate on the enemy here?" said Link, who had resumed fighting.

"Oops! Sorry!" cried Kirby.

And they carried on fighting…

Meanwhile, there was a flash of light, and a white ball of power appeared. It shifted through many colours like a rainbow. And it was emblazoned with the strange symbol that Brawl wore on his shirt and hat.

Attracted by the commotion that had summoned it, it floated towards the battleground…

"Man, this lot are persistent. How many are there?" cried Link.

"I'd say-a five-a hundred." Replied Mario.

"Well, I hope we can get rid of them quickly. This is getting boring!" shouted Pikachu cheekily. Everyone laughed, though it was hard to laugh in the face of an army.

Brawl had now playing scout, alerting the smashers to surprise attacks and sometimes throwing rocks. However he had just hit a primid when he spotted the white ball floating around. He realised with glee what it was.

"Mario! See that ball?" he cried.

Mario looked up and saw it flying around him.

"Smash it! It'll help you get rid of the primid!"

"Why? What's it do?" said a confused Mario.

"No time to explain! JUST DO IT!" shouted Brawl.

"Okay, okay, okay!"

Mario jumped after it and performed a spin attach. The ball weakened, but didn't break. Mario bounces off a primid and finished it off with a super jump punch. It broke… and an enormous amount of power surged into his body.

A rainbow aurora appeared around him, and the whole world seemed to focus on him. Everyone looked round to see that Mario's eyes were glowing.

Without thinking, Mario knew what he had to do. He put out his hands together, aimed them at the purple mass… and a giant fireball shot out of his hands.

The primid screamed, but it was too late for them. There was no time to dodge out the way, and they were promptly consumed and incinerated by the fiery vortex. And the fireball disappeared in a large explosion, leaving behind a giant burn mark on the ground.

The three other smashers stared at Mario. He had just taken out five hundred primid in one blow.

Mario stared at the burn mark. "I… have… no idea… how I did that…"

"HA! Hey, tenty! You better tell the hands to use non flammables next time!" Brawl was taunting the Ancient Minister.

"GAH! That was luck! You won't win next time… and besides… those were the easy ones! So don't get cocky! Good day!" and with that, he disappeared back into the portal with a huff.

The heroes carried on back to the portal, but this time, the smashers had questions.

"What was that white ball?" said Mario.

"How did Mario do… that fireball?" asked Link.

"Can I do something like that if I break one?" asked Kirby.

"It's a long story…" replied Brawl.

* * *

Well, there you go… the first fight scene. I didn't know much about smash bros at the time of writing this, but the next chapter will put all of this in the shade. Believe me, it's going be a cringe-free story from now on! I hope…

Oh, and thanks to (checks profile) king Williams for letting me know the whole of doesn't hate my guts. Cheers!


	3. Chapter 3

**WARNING: this chapter contains sickeningly cute yoshis, a mention of Jim Carrey, and playstation 3 bashing. If these things make you want to flame, turn back NOW.**

A few things I'd like to inform you about:

1: if Link sounds like he's a bit thick, remember that most of the stuff he asks about hasn't been invented yet. There's a reason why he asks these questions all the time, you know.

2: I hate, hate, HATE the "crazy girls". At the time I wrote the previous chapter, it seemed a good idea to add fangirl humour, because everyone else was doing it. But now… it just feels so god damm fucking noobish! They're so damm annoying… but they'll still get mentioned in the story, seeing as I've gone to the trouble of introducing them. (Punches wall.) GODDAMMIT!

3: I'm a slow writer. When I joined, I had two and a half chapters written down. So sadly, you'll have to wait longer for updates. Much longer. Though if you review me enough, I might feel like writing faster so I update before you lynch me!

Anyways, read, the disclaimers are in chapter 2, and don't moan about the PS3 joke!

* * *

_**CHAPTER 3- BACK TO THE FUTURE WITH A DINOSUAR**_

A smash ball, in actual fact, is a side effect of inter dimensional travel. When you create a vortex from one dimension to another, a lot of space is condensed into one point, and therefore, a lot of energy. This results in an explosion if the portal is not formed properly.

To get round this problem, Mr Miyamoto tweaked the portal generator to turn this energy into smash balls, an object both designed to contain the spare energy and give that energy to the smashers for their own ends. Mario had used the energy he received to produce the giant fireball. A move known as his final smash.

There is one small problem with smash balls- because they contain the essence of time and space itself; they can come into existence in any dimension, at any time after an inter-dimensional portal is created. They can also be hard to obtain, partly as only the smashers can break them, partly because they move randomly (though they are attracted to chaos.), and partly because they can pass through walls and solid objects.

Brawl and co. were now back in the smash mansion.

"So what's my final smash?" said Kirby inquisitively.

"Ah! That for me to know and for you to find out!" chuckled Brawl.

"Aw! Come on! Tell us!" winged Pikachu.

"How will we know what to do with this smash ball if you don't tell us?" smirked Link, trying to outsmart Brawl.

"Oh, EVERYONE knows what to do when they get their first smash ball. After all, how else did Mario know what to do with the smash ball?" replied Brawl.

Everyone turned to look at Mario.

"He's-a right, you know-a." said Mario.

* * *

Smash came in the room. "Ah! You've come back with Kirby! What you guys talking about?" he chirped.

"He was just explaining about smash balls." Replied Kirby.

"Why's that? There's no need to explain what a smash ball is- unless you've encountered the sub-"

"We did." Brawl cut him off.

"Really? Marvellous! Anything interesting happen?" Smash looked like he had won a million dollars.

"Well, Mario did his final smash-"

"Excellent!"

"- And I was caught unarmed." admitted Brawl shamfully.

Silence.

"GOOD LORD, BOY! What were you thinking? Do you want to get yourself killed? You're going to worry your mother to death!" Brawl looked at the ground and shuffled his feet.

"You're lucky the smashers saved you aren't you?"

Brawl nodded.

"Yes. If you weren't saving all existence, I'd have a good mind to ground you for weeks!"

Silence.

"I'm very disappointed in you son. Now go upstairs and get your weapons. AND DON'T COME BACK TILL YOU'VE GOT MORE WEAPONARY THAN A ARMY SURPLUS!" shouted Smash. Brawl ran up the stairs, guilty and embarrassed.

Smash turned to the four heroes. "I'm sorry for that interruption. He's a little overconfident some times, and he always forgets stuff."

"Oh, no problemao." Said Mario. "As long as our friend's safe, that's all that matter's."

"True. Thanks for saving him, by the way." Nodded Smash.

"There's no need for thanks, Smash. We probably can do these kind of things with our eyes shut." Said Link.

"True! Well, anyway, Brawl will take a while with his weapons, so why don't get yourselves a drink in the bar? I'm sure your thirsty." He gestured for them to follow him.

"Sounds good to me." Said Pikachu as they followed him.

Mario, Link, Pikachu and Kirby hadn't spent too much time at the mansion, but by now they had realised what a strange place it was. It was a normal mansion, but the architect had obviously been told of the smashers identities, and tried to make everyone feel at home by using bits of architecture from their homes. Unfornutly this meant the techno stuff collided with the castle stuff, the colour with the bland, the switches with the levers. It was a melting pot of architecture from all dimensions, but it did not blend together. Where there was a stone column, you could bet there would be an elevator right next to it.

A brilliant example of this was the stairs. Some were wooden, some were made out of stone, and some were metal. There was elevators, ladders, teleporters, even gaps in the railing were you just jumped into a trampoline to get up or down. Mario even swore he saw a warp pipe somewhere.

The bar was no different. It looked like it was carved out of wood, but had golden railings and the like. The shelf with the drinks on looked futuristic and had neon lights. They sat down on the barstools.

"Hey! Ambler! Where are you?" called Smash.

CLUNK! Ambler had been cleaning the under side of the bar. He pulled himself up, muttering, "OW! Owowowow. No, I'm okay, thank you very much…"

Ambler was dressed completely in green and had a traditional messy Irish hairstyle. He looked like a bottle himself.

"Well, bonk me over the head with a broken bottle and call me Shaun Connery! It's the four smashers! And at my bar, of all places! I thought I'd never see the day! What brings you lot here?" he said happily.

"I sent Brawl to get his weapons. He forgot to take them with him, and nearly got caught by the subspace army. Kids today…" mumbled Smash.

"Aye! Trust Brawl to rush in all confidant, only to slip up in the face of fire! That lad's got think things through more." He turned to the four smashers. "Anyway, what ya want to drink? Have anything you want! I can serve anything!" he exclaimed.

"I'll have milk." Said Link.

"Ummm… lemonade please." Said Pikachu.

"Shroom shake for me-a." said Mario.

"SHROOM SHAKE??" cried Link.

Mario turned to Link, who had a look of disgust. "What? What's wrong-a with that?"

"You're drinking liquidised mushrooms COLD??" cried Link again, not knowing that mushrooms from Mario's dimension taste sweet and milky, rather than salty and meaty.

"I better explain. Link, Mario's mushrooms taste different from the mushrooms you're thinking of. His taste more like sweets." Informed Ambler.

"Ohh. Right. Sounds like you have pretty odd mushrooms pal." Said Link, not really believing that Mario's drink tasted like anything other than cold mushroom soup.

"And you sir?" said Ambler to Kirby.

"Oh! Tomato juice for me." Replied Kirby.

"Tomato juice? That's a weird-a drink-a, Kirby!" said Mario.

Link, Kirby, and Ambler rolled their eyes…

"AAARRRGGGHHH!!"

Brawl fell face-first down the stairs and landed on the floor with a thud. He had some kind of bazooka on his back that had obviously caused him to lose his balance.

"Why, oh why, do heavy-duty weapons have to be so heavy?" he moaned as he got back up again.

"You screamed, Brawl?" said Pikachu cheekily. The four smashers had heard the cry of horror and hurried to see what the fuss was about.

"I wouldn't joke if I were you. I'm heavily armed and prone to violence, especially after falling down stairs." Muttered Brawl heavily.

Brawl looked like he had just come back from Vietnam. He was armed, along with the bazooka, what appeared to be a mine, two different guns, a lightsaber, a ball of jelly, something that looked like a white ball, a baseball bat, and a paper fan.

"Nice kit." Said Link.

"Thanks. Now can we get back to work? I'm hoping for another fight with the subspace army, and this time, I'll be trashing them…" he started typing in the co-ordinates for the next destination.

* * *

"Whoa… WAY too much primary colours." Said Link.

They were on an island that looked like it was a child's drawing. The plants and rocks looked like they were drawn with crayons.

"Even Kirby's place looked less crazy than this." Commented Pikachu.

"I don't know… it kind-a looks like-a my dimension…" muttered Mario.

Brawl smiled. He knew what came next…

"HEY! This IS my dimension! This is Yoshi's island!" cried Mario.

"Well done Mario! Ten points for you!" said Brawl cheerfully.

"Yoshi's island?" quizzed Kirby.

"It's an island populated by yoshis. They're dinosaurs." Replied Mario.

"Dinosaurs? What are they?" asked Link.

"Kinda like dragons without wings." Said Brawl.

Link imaged a yoshi as a 30-foot tall reptilian with scales.

"So are we here to pick Yoshi the yoshi?" asked Mario.

"Man! Mario! You're reading my mind! I swear!" Brawl chuckled.

"Yoshi the yoshi? That's an original name. Not." Said Pikachu with sarcasm.

"So what? You're Pikachu the pikachu!" laughed Kirby.

Pikachu promptly shut up.

"Yahoo!"

The yoshis celebrated as Mario entered the village. It had been a long time since Mario had visited and they were surrounding him, wanting to hear about his latest adventures. Mario took his fame like a good-hearted celebrity. "Hey! How you doing! How's the wife and kids? You look great! Nice to see you again! Thank you! I'm fine thanks! So nice to be here!"

Link however was surprised by the yoshi's… cuteness. They looked completely different from what he expected. In his mind, they looked more like a cross between a horse and a baby seal.

Brawl waved his hands. "Err, thanks for the attention, but we really need to find someone. Anyone seen Yoshi the yoshi?"

"YOSHI!"A cry came from a hut nearby. Yoshi himself had come to see what all the fuss about, and was delighted to see that his best mate Mario had arrived. He rushed out to greet him.

"Yoshi! Good to see ya, buddy!"

"YAHOO! Nice to see you too, Mario! WOOHOO!"

As you can see, Yoshi was somewhat excited about seeing Mario again. After all, he had helped him out three times, twice when he was just a baby. He looked forward to another adventure with him, and little did he know that his wish was about to be granted…

"Mr Yoshi! If we could have a little talk inside your hut…"

There was much excitement in the village, as all the yoshis wondered what Mario and his strange new friends had came to see Yoshi for. The guy in the hat and the green tunic man were okay, but they had never seen anything like the yellow mouse and the pink… thing. Many pondered what lands they came from, and the children joked they were aliens. Either way, all yoshis have child-like curiosity, and as a result, they were all huddled round Yoshi's hut trying to listen to their conversation.

Brawl had just finished talking about some Miyamoto guy and giant hands.

"Anyway, you are one of them." explained

"Me?"

"Yep. And you, my friend, have to come with us on an adventure to save all existence!"

"REALLY?"

"Yep."

"REALLYREALLY?"

"That's-a right, old pal." Replied Mario.

"YIBERTYABERTYHOO!!" cried Yoshi, jumping so high he bust a hole in his own hut. He immediately dashed out and started giving high fives to all the other yoshis, who had also heard the news and started celebrating.

"YAHOO!! Yoshi's on an adventure again! YAYY!!" he shouted.

"Well someone's eager to go." Smirked Link.

"It's been 5 years since his last adventure. He's probably very very very very very very very very very very bored. Times twenty." Replied Brawl casually.

He and the group walked out of the hut and approached Yoshi and the crowd.

"Well, there's no time to waste. What say we skip the overly long farewell scene and get to were the action is?" suggested Brawl.

"Yeah! All right! Let go! Yeah!" said Yoshi excitedly.

He rushed over to Mario and used his head to lift him onto his saddle. Everyone couldn't help but laugh at this display of eagerness.

Yoshi looked at Mario. "Just like old times, huh?"

"Just like the good old days." Mario nodded. And with he held on to Yoshi's neck with one hand, waved his hat in the air with another, and cried "hi ho, Yoshi! Away!"

"YOSHI!"

And with that, Mario, Yoshi, Brawl and company left the yoshi village, cheerfully waving to the other yoshis.

"Good luck, Yoshi! You too, Mario!"

"Kick some butt!"

"Egg those bad guys! Eat them for breakfast!"

"Ow…"

Yoshi was rubbing his saddle area. He just had the translation chip fitted, and Brawl had opted to put it on his back, rather than his head, as his head looked a little too soft to be hit by a hammer.

"Brawl, isn't there an easier way to fit these chips?" moaned Yoshi.

"Yep. But a lot of people are scared of electric drills." Replied Brawl dully.

Yoshi decided that was something he didn't want to know about.

"I wonder what tenty and co are up to…" pondered Brawl.

* * *

As if Brawl's pondering was a covenant plot device inserted by the author, the ancient minister was reporting back to the hands on the recent encounter with the smashers.

"Err… master? Sir?" said he nervously, as he looked around the long, rectangular platform that was floating in purple space. It was strange- he didn't know why, but if you wanted to speak to the hands, you had to go to that particular platform- the one that was perilously high over all the others in this surreal place. But he had a pretty good idea- if you fell off, you would definitely die. It was a precaution against officers that disobeyed orders.

"Yes?" said Master hand, as he appeared from the purple space.

"We encountered the enemy exactly as you requested, sir." Said the AM gravely.

"Ooh! There was a fight? Were there any explosions? Death? Action movie clichés?" said a mad giggling voice. Crazy hand had appeared to join his brother.

"Crazy, that is irrelevant. What matters is- what was the result of the conflict?" asked Master hand.

"We lost."

"WHAT!? YOU FOOL!! YOU HAVE FAILED US!! NOW YOU MUST DIEEE!!" cried Crazy, charging up a fist.

_Slap!_

"CRAZY! STOP MESSING AROUND! You know as well as I do that the skirmish was just a test of the smasher's strength!" shouted Master.

"Oh. Really?"

"(Groan) Crazy, I explained it to you a few minutes ago. 64 times!"

"Oh yeah. Something about estimates and plots and stuff. I get ya, bro!"

Master hand turned back to the Ancient minister. "Anyway… how long did take for them to deplete our regiment?"

The AM winced. He had been dreading this, as he knew the hands wouldn't like it.

"Umm… six and a half minutes, sir." He braced himself.

The hands froze.

"WWWHHHAAATTT??"

Master grabbed the AM, and the two hands started playing catch.

"SIX AND A HALF MINUTES? THAT'S RIDICULOUS!" cried Master hand.

"YEAH! EVEN I KNOW THAT LOW-LEVEL WIMPS LIKE PRIMID CAN SURVIVE LONGER THAN THAT!" yelled Crazy.

"THEY SHOULD HAVE LASTED TEN MINUTES MINIMUM!"

"WHAT DID YOU DO – SEND THEM OFF A CLIFF??"

"SIRS! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! They (ow) got an accursed smash ball…"

The hands stopped playing catch.

"And?"

"Mario's final smash took out 500 primid…"

There was a pause as Master hand did some mental calculations. Crazy did some aggressive pointing at the AM, but otherwise waited for his verdict.

"Hmm. I suppose if a final smash was involved, that would shorten their survival by three and a half minutes… so we'll let you off." Muttered Master.

"Lucky old you." Grumbled Crazy, who had looked forward to beating something up.

"So the smashers are as strong as they said they were. I think we better take appropriate action. Minister?" said Master.

"Your orders sir?" replied the AM.

"Prepare our next attack. Arm the primid this time. Let's see if we can get to that bounty hunter before they do…" surprisingly, Master hand then burst into maniacal laughter.

"Umm… bro? You didn't specify which bounty hunter." Said Crazy with a surprising amount of common sense.

Master snarled. He hated it when Crazy was smart, as he did at the most inappropriate of times.

"THE FEMALE ONE! HAPPY NOW?" he roared.

"Yes." Said Crazy, rather pleased with himself.

The AM shook his head. He decided to get on with the job in hand, for the sake of Master's sanity…

Back at the smash mansion, Brawl had looked at the next name on the list and come to a happy conclusion.

"Good news guys! You can take a break. I can get the next smasher on my own." He reported cheerfully.

Link raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? What if the primid get involved?"

"Don't worry, I'll cover for him." Everyone looked round to see Melee at the controls. "If the Primid show up, then I'll just send a portal to his co-ordinates." He said.

"And then I'll go back with you lot to send them packing!" continued Brawl.

"Well, if you're sure, go ahead." Said Kirby matter-of-factly.

"Don't worry. I'm a better typer than my brother!" said Melee.

"HEY! I'm not that bad!"

* * *

On a planet, there is a bar.

It was futuristic, but exactly colourful. It was all grey, it had sliding doors, and it was the epitome of clichéd futuristic bars.

There was one thing that one thing that would hit you right when entered the bar. That is, if you were completely blind to the rest of Corneia.

Every single person looked like an animal. They weren't human look-a-likes. If one looked like a bird, he would have feathers and a beak. If one looked like a fox, he would have fur and a fox's tail.

Speaking of foxes, there was one person in that was the living definition of fox. He was smart, fast, agile, and contrary to all good dictionaries, an expert at flying arwings. He was even called Fox.

Fox Mcloud, to be precise.

Fox was on "stress leave." This is mercenary speak for "I can't be arsed to work for a while. See you in two weeks, suckers." So now he was doing the one thing he could never do in an arwing- have a drink in one hand and watch the world go by. For once, the twitch-and-get-you'll-be-shot reactions of his could finally settle down, and his trigger finger could keep still. All was well. Fox was relaxed and nothing would change that for two weeks, he hoped.

Sadly, he had not counted on a new species to walk in through the door.

Literally.

The new species was actually Brawl, who had just become the first human to enter the Lyat system. Thankfully, in any age of space exploration, any new species will only cause long periods of staring at worst, as long as their activities are civilised and justified.

In Fox's mind, however, new species meant new planets, new planets meant new treaties, which meant in turn some stupid militarist would spill his coffee in rage, and next thing you know, it's another case of "we need your help, starfox!" His mind was already slowly dragging the trigger finger out of bed.

The bartender- who looked like a terrier- looked at Brawl curiously for a while, then asked, "you a new species?"

Brawl nodded.

"What's its name then? Your species?" the bartender continued.

"Oh," Brawl replied, "I'm only human."

There was a moment's silence, and then Brawl continued- "is Fox Mcloud in here?"

Alarm bells went off in Fox's head. Goddammit, how did he not see this coming? He should have known that this would happen. There was almost certainly a war on, so now someone had been sent to drag him back to the great fox to fire some lasers. Jeez, he could already hear Peppy telling him to "do a barrel roll!" for Christ's sake. Didn't they know he was on the brink of insanity?

Oh, sod it. His brain chided him. The quicker it's done, the sooner it's done, and the less of Slippy you hear the better. Besides, it's your job, not to mention your responsibility to the lyat system… and your farther.

"I'm right here." He said, standing up.

Brawl turned to face him with a smile, and at that moment Fox realised that the stranger had a gun. Two guns. A sword. And a bazooka, for crying out loud.

His trigger finger jerked awake as if it just had an electric shock.

Everyone else had noticed this, and figured **new species with gun + fox mcloud assassination attempt**. People were slowly heading towards the exit. The bartender slowly walked into the back room, mumbling "oh dear…"

"Ah! Fox! There you are! Taking a break from flying, I take it?"

Then again, he seemed nice enough. Perhaps he just wanted an autograph and accidentally presumed it was perfectly ordinary to walk into a bar fully armed. He looked a bit young for a murderer, anyway. He didn't even look old enough to drink, but that just disturbed Fox. Why come into a bar with a gun if you're not going to get totally smashed?

"Well, that was the plan." Chuckled Fox. Who was currently thanking his lucky stars he had taken his blaster and reflector along with him.

"Well, sorry for interrupting your holiday." Brawl smiled. "But I've got a private matter I need to talk to about. Could you meet me outside in the back alley?"

Crap. This guy certainly did not want an autograph. Back to work for him. Or if he was lucky, just a street fight. He had no problem with that. If anyone thought he was useless outside an arwing, now was the time to prove them wrong.

"Okay."

He followed him out of the bar and into the alleyway.

"Alright, what's the problem? Who's attacking whom? Don't you know that I have the right to have his holiday? If you take me back to the great fox, you'll be validating my rights! Falco can handle the mission just as well as me!" Fox growled in annoyance.

Brawl just smiled. "I see you're eager to go back to work. But this is not a matter of war or arwings, mr Mcloud."

"In that case, drop the guns."

"Hmm?"

"Oh come on! You think I'm blind and stupid? This is obviously an assassination attempt?"

The smile fell off Brawl's face as Fox aimed his blaster at him.

"You want the guns? Here! Have them! And my cracker launcher! And my beam sword! And my shield! What else do you want, my wallet?" he cried, handing over all his weaponry.

Fox thought for a moment, then said "yes."

"WHAT!?"

"Just making sure you don't run away. Do it."

"Urrgh… fine. Just give it back afterwards." Brawl groaned as he handed it over.

"Sweet. See ya."

"HEY!"

"Heh. Just kidding."

Brawl sighed. This one was a little tricky.

"Look. I know it's hard to believe, but I need you for your fighting skills outside an arwing. Sooner or later, weird purple things from another dimension will appear to kill you and turn everyone else in existence into trophies, and the only way you can stop them is if you come with me. You got to believe me, man! And give me my wallet back!" he wailed.

"Weird purple things from another dimension? Right. And I'm Jim Carrey." Snorted Fox.

The smile remerged on Brawl's face. "Oh, really?"

He turned around and reopened the portal he had used to get there. Fox's jaw dropped.

"Jim Carrey? Meet interdimensional portal. Interdimensional portal, meet Jim Carrey."

* * *

Five minutes later…

"So do you get what we're saying now?"

"Well… I didn't expect giant hands to be behind the end of the world, that's for sure. But otherwise, I can't find any reason to not save the world, so yeah, I'll help you." replied Fox.

Brawl gestured for Fox to follow him into the next room. "Good-o. Now I suppose I'd better introduce you to the other smashers." Said Brawl, quietly adding, "Brace yourself."

The door was opened, and after getting over the fact that, joys of joys, there was a bar in this god-damm house, Fox's mind focused on the five faces that were to help him save the universe.

He was unimpressed with Mario to say the least. The guy looked like he had no exercise for six months. The guy wore overalls, meaning he did dirty work, so maybe he was tougher than his stomach suggested.

For Link, Fox had to stifle a chuckle – he looked like some kind of final fantasy nerd. He had a tunic and a shield and even a daft floppy hat, for goodness sake. But still, he had a sword. He meant business. Fox decided to rely on Link if in need of backup.

Yoshi he recognised as a dinosaur. He had fought with a dinosaur on his side before, so at least that was something he was familiar with. But this one was a little too cute for his liking. I mean, he could have grown tusks or something. Jeez.

Pikachu raised an eyebrow for Fox. After all, a small yellow mouse with an odd tail didn't particularly scream "vicious hunter." But those cheek pouches contained something, he could tell, and rats can be pretty nasty, of course. He was an odd choice for a fighter…

Which was more than could be said for Kirby. Fox's jaw at this point gave up all hope and dropped. How in the name of Corneia was that thing supposed to fight? It looked like a pink marshmallow, for crying out loud! The fact he had no idea what it was just confused Fox even more.

The other smashers had their own reactions to this newcomer as well.

Mario didn't blink an eyelid- not surprising for the man who talks to mushroom people everyday. Yoshi reacted likewise.

Link's mouth dropped for a second, then turned back into a friendly smile again. After all, he had talked to zoras and gorons, so a fox-person was not much different.

Pikachu, however, was amazed. Here was a pokemon (at least, it looked like one.) dressed and walking like a human. To him, that was the holy grail of cool, and his mind immediately started hero worship of this "super-pokemon."

Kirby stood on his tiptoes to get a good look at the stranger, and recognized it was a fox. He noted that fox's don't usually stand on two feet, but his innocent little mind let that slip by.

"People, this is Fox Mcloud, the best pilot in the Lyat system." Said Brawl, finally getting round to introductions.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"Ello."

"What's a pilot?" asked Link.

Brawl groaned. He had completely forgotten that aircraft had not been invented yet in Hyrule.

"A pilot is a person who can operate flying machines, Link."

"Oh! Like the sky city of the occoa!"

"Yeah. Like that. Anyway- Fox, this is Mario, Yoshi, Link, Pikachu and Kirby." Brawl announced.

"And these guys are great fighters? Link, maybe, but the rest aren't exactly promising, pal." Fox shook his head.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really. I mean, how does the yellow rat…"

"PIKA!"

5000 volts later, Fox learned to never call Pikachu a rat.

"Urggh… guess that answers my question." Groaned Fox as he got back up again.

"That's for calling me a rat. And besides, what makes you so special? I somehow doubt you'll be using a spaceship thing to attack primid." Complained Pikachu, switching out of hero-worship mode.

"What makes me so special? … THIS!"

Quick as a flash, Fox scooped up five empty glasses, threw them into the air and shot them all before they even considered obeying the law of gravity.

There was "ooh"s, "ahh"s, and a lone cry of "hey! I paid good money for those!"

Pikachu was silent for a second, before he bowed down to Fox and cried, "all is forgiven!"

"Hey! I can do that as well!" cried Link, chucking another glass into the air, then quickly pulling his bow out. With pinpoint precision, Link repeated Fox's trick with a bow and arrow.

"All right!"

"Nice!"

"You've got skills, Link!"

"Stop doing that!"

"My turn!" cried Yoshi, clearly getting excited. He too threw a bottle, and then smashed it with an egg in midair.

"YAHHOO! PERFECTION!"

"STOP WRECKING MY GLASSWARE!"

"Think that's impressive? Watch this!" exclaimed Mario.

Mario threw another glass into the air, but then in one impressive jump that nearly hit the ceiling, caught up with the bottle and punched it back to earth again.

"Whoa!"

"Ace!"

"NOOO! MY LIMITED EDITION COCA-COLA GLASS! I COLLECTED FIVE TOKENS FOR THAT!"

Fox gawped. Who knew that a fat guy could jump so high? That guy was like superman!

"Come on, Kirby! It should be your turn now!" said Brawl to Kirby, still ignoring the rants of Ambler.

Kirby looked at a bottle, then at Fox.

"I think I can do it… but first, prepare yourself, Fox!" said Kirby with an evil smile.

"Yeah, I'm watching, kid! Go ahead!" replied Fox, not realising the fate he was about to receive.

However, Brawl did. "KIRBY! NO!"

SHOOOP!

"AAHHH!!"

Too late. Kirby sucked up Fox, appeared to chew him a little, them spat him out.

PLOP-PERWING!

"Are you alright, Fox?" said Brawl, running to his side.

"Jesus, that little blob is lethal… what the hell?"

Kirby now had fox-like ears, a replica of Fox's headset, and was now using a replica of Fox's gun to take down the bottle pyramid Ambler made in his spare time, much to Ambler's annoyance. Fox's hand shot straight to his head, and was relived to discover he had not been scalped.

"Yeah! I'm firing my laser! This thing is awesome!" shouted a happy Kirby.

"STOP IT! JUST STOP IT! I PAYED FOR ALL OF THIS! I DIDN'T PAY FOR IT SO YOU COULD JUST SHOOT IT!"

"Kirby, you could have warned Fox you were about to use your copy ability!" Chided Brawl.

"Well, I told him to brace himself, didn't I?" said Kirby with an innocent smile.

"That's not what I mea-"

"BRAWL! EMERGANCY!!"

"What the hell?"

Brawl and co. quickly rushed into the portal room.

"What's going out there, Melee?" said Brawl, ready for action, and clearly wanting it.

"They've set up a ambush! They're using a radio message to lure her into a abandoned satellite!" replied a panicked Melee.

"Her? You mean-"

"They're setting up Samus Aran!"

* * *

Samus was sleeping.

Of course, the correct term is cryogenically frozen, but the results are pretty much similar. And it was a good thing that Samus was asleep, as she would have gone insane with boredom if she was awake.

The main problem with Chozo ships, Samus reckoned, was the total lack of space. If you wanted to do anything entertaining while on a journey to clichéd planet no. 6, a Chozo ship was not a good idea at all. And while cryogenics adding a few years to your lifespan is rather nice, she would definitely give it away just so she could move around while travelling.

She would stop at one of the galactic federation's space stations, but after the infamous fusion mission, she wouldn't be surprised if the federation didn't exactly give a warm welcome. So now she was cruising through space, looking for somewhere to stay without the federation holding something nasty over her head.

She was bored, mind. So she would probably accept anything just to get out of the ship she was cooped up in. like a SOS signal from that old abandoned spaceship **just over there…**

_Blipblipblipbeepbeepbeepblipblipblip._

_Blipblipblipbeepbeepbeepblipblipblip._

"Time to wake up, Samus…" sniggered the AM as the Morse code signal was sent out…

Samus calmly walked into the spaceship with her power suit on. And she had every reason to be calm. She had scanned the whole thing with her ship's computer, and could find nothing suspicious about it. The SOS signal wasn't a thousand years old. There were no federation troopers nearby to jump out and scold her for disobeying her orders to let them investigate the SA-X virus. And best of all, there wasn't a single trace of metroid, so it definitely was not a space pirate ambush. It was probably the same old story: salvagers board abandoned ship looking for treasure, find something dangerous, get scared shitless and call for help. Easy.

Run through corridor, shoot open a door, run through corridor, shoot open a door, run through corridor, shoot open doorway… huh?

Samus peered ahead. Through the doorway she could see some kind of green and red fabric, shaped like a tepee, but her scanners could detect some kind of robot underneath. She pointed her gun arm at it just in case.

The tepee thing suddenly turned round, and Samus could see two yellow eyes peep out of the fabric. "Oh, thank goodness! Thank you for coming, Samus! I was so worried you weren't going to show up! Oh, please come in!" it said.

Samus was surprised for sure. She wasn't expecting to be rescuing robots. But nevertheless, she walked into the circular room, curious of this robot. She hadn't encountered one like it…

"Thank you. May I ask what is the problem?" she said with authority.

"Why, nothing, Samus! All our problems are over, now that you've helped us!" said the thing happily.

A chill went down Samus. Something felt wrong about this room. It reminded her all too much of a coliseum.

"I'm sorry, but I've haven't done anything. How exactly have I helped you?" said a suspicious Samus.

"Can't you work it out Samus? You've helped us ever so much… BY FALLING INTO OUR TRAP!"

Samus reactions kicked in immediately, and she turned round only to see the only door in the room shut with a CLANG! At exactly the same time, her scanners informed her that the "spaceship" had been built yesterday, and the rust was merely spray-on bronze paint. She had walked right into a FAKE spaceship, and she hadn't even noticed.

Bizarre purple fuzz came out of nowhere to form purple puppet men, the tepee thing fly away laughing like the maniac he was, and weird black headed men with cones for ears and wearing bucket trousers handed out weapons to this new enemy. Samus scanned then, but her database had no idea what they were, coming up with a useless "lifeform: unknown."

"Oh, dear." Sighed Samus. _Poor old them won't know what hit them._

The primid approached Samus from all sides, armed with boomerangs, swords, and guns. Samus readied a charge shot…

And a sudden BANG! Filled the air, followed by a CLANG! When a rather large grate landed on the floor. The primid up looked up with a surprised expression and a general grunt of "huh?"

In hindsight, that wasn't exactly the best course of action to take.

Not only did Samus wisely use the distraction to take out five primid with a charge shot, but six lifeforms Samus did not recognise dropped right on top of six primid as well.

Now Samus was completely confused. First a ambush by this unknown enemy, now two humans wearing clothing that went obsolete and four _things _that she didn't even know what they were. What on Zebes was going on here?

Link turned to Mario and asked, "Where's Brawl?"

As a matter of fact, Brawl was in the large airshaft the six smashers had come out of, and was now trying to muster his courage to jump out of it. Melee monitored his progress on the large TV screen.

"Hey, Brawl? Would you mind jumping out of the damm grate sometime this month? You trembling at the knees isn't exactly entertaining telly." Melee's voice came over on Brawl's earphone.

"Err… isn't there some way to just climb down from here?" asked Brawl hoping for a positive answer.

"What, you afraid of heights or something?" chuckled Melee.

"No. I am afraid of _falling_ from great heights, having all my bones break when I hit the ground, and promptly dieing from extreme blood loss. Why'd you ask?" growled Brawl.

Melee laughed at this. "Oh, stop exaggerating, bro! If the smashers can land safely so can you!"

"You think so?"

"Yes I do. Just close your eyes…"

Brawl closed his eyes.

"Take a deep breath…"

Brawl took a deep breath.

"Now pretend if you don't jump out of that shaft RIGHT NOW, you have to buy a playstation 3!" cried Melee.

Brawl jumped. The last thing he wanted was a 450-dollar hole in his wallet and a games console that was to games what a chocolate teapot was to common sense.

Brawl promptly landed below, surrounded by primid. He unsheathed a weapon, spun in a circle, and sliced the surrounding primid's head's off.

At least, that's what he tried to do. After all, it is hard to decapitate someone with a paper fan.

Realising his mistake, Brawl promptly switched to his beam sword and repeated the manuvere, this time successfully killing the primid.

Brawl was about to join Mario and co. in battle when Samus called out, "who the hell are you?"

Brawl turned to Samus. "We're super smash bros, madam," he said, tipping his hat to her, "and this is what we do."

And that's when the battle really kicked off.

* * *

I'll say it again just in case you didn't hear me: DO NOT FLAME ME ABOUT THE PS3 JOKE. Okay?

Ooh, a cliffhanger! Just the thing to make a long wait fell longer! Facepalms self. By the way, if you haven't realise the order I'm introducing characters, I'm doing the original twelve first, then the eight from melee, then the rest from brawl. The unlockables always come after the automatically selectable characters. Sadly, this means that Sonic and Snake enter last, okay? Just be patient and enjoy the story as it unfolds. And if you think it ends when all 35 are found, WRONG! There'll a lot more stuff to do for our heroes! But that'll be something you can look forward to.

Anyway, give some constructive criticism, and for god's sake get over the PS3 joke already!

(Adopts mr Resetti voice.) now… SCRAM!


	4. Chapter 4

You know the kind of guy who begins an awesome story, but then takes forever to update? That's me, all right!

Yep, it's a chapter long fight scene! I was intending to include a lot more things in this chapter, like the inclusion of DK and Luigi and the introduction of the rest of the residents of smash mansion, but after counting the pages, I realised the this fight scene could qualify for a whole chapter itself! And seeing how long since I updated, I just had to give you guys (or girls) this to satisfy you. I know I take ages, but the outcome is always a scorcher!

Yeah, I know, my fight scenes aren't exactly the best or the most entertaining in the world, but at least it's better than the one in chapter 2. Plus there's forth-wall breaking, a joke about the matrix, and a Dirty Harry parody to keep you happy. But be warned: there is **SWEARING** in this chapter, so read with caution. I know swearing shouldn't be allowed in the teen section, but I've seen ZeLink lemons in the teen section of the Zelda fanfics, so don't pretend that it's a crime against humanity.

Well? READ IT ALREADY!

_**

* * *

**_

CHAPTER 4 – THE FIGHT SCENE THAT WAS CUT OUT OF CHAPTER 3

Fox could feel a wave of symphony for Samus. After all, the poor lady – he couldn't believe it was a woman in that suit – was about to be dragged off to other dimensions with a bunch of weirdo's. Well, okay, that was unfair. Link, Mario, and Yoshi were pretty normal to him. But knowing the bizarre things that Brawl didn't even blink at, he wouldn't be surprised if more bizarre creatures ended up joining them. He wondered how exactly Mario and co. were able to handle this so easily.

The answer was they didn't. They all thought that their new friends were weird - Mario for being able to jump so high, Link for being old fashioned, Pikachu for being a mouse capable of generating over 10 hundred watts, and Kirby for swallowing people whole – but they got on so well, they forgot all their differences. Who they really thought was weird was Brawl.

How the hell did he handle all of this without even breaking a sweat? How the hell did he seem to know everything about them? Where the hell was he going to take them to next? And why was he, an eighteen year old, put in charge in their safety, rather than an adult?

Of course, they had no idea that all smash brothers spend years studying the worlds and lives of the smashers. They had no idea that the palm of Brawl's hand had a circle with two lines forming a cross in the bottom left corner. And they had no idea that Brawl, while he had no chance of defeating a smasher in a one on one fight, was pretty good at fighting when he remembered to pack his weaponry.

"I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU WISH YOU STAYED AT HOME, YOU LITTLE PURPLE FUCKERS!"

Brawl had to sit out the last fight against the primid, and was certainly not waiting for the primid to come at him. With the incredible lengths that his beamsword could stretch to, he had cleared a nice little area around him. He would be safe, and the smashers could get on with their jobs- mainly kicking primid butt to hell and back.

Samus was firing off missiles; Kirby had copied a sword welding primid and was running around pretending to be Luke Skywalker, Link was ironically taking out multiple boomer primid with his boomerang, Mario was tossing Primid over to Yoshi, who then encased them in eggs, and Pikachu was covering Fox's back as he shot every primid he could see.

Of course if you were being shot, it would be a good idea to shoot back. This idea miraculously occurred to one proud scope primid, who started charging a shot at Fox's head. The primid obviously was a lot smarter than all the others… so it was a crying shame for him that he didn't spot the device on Fox's belt.

Fox, of course, had spotted the primid long ago, but he let it charge up its shot. After all, it was about to be very useful to him.

The primid released its shot. He'd done it! He shot Fox! Boom! Headshot! He'd just took him down in the coolest way imaginable! He owned Fox!

Of course, this was just wishful thinking. The truth was that the primid were about to be owned in the coolest way imaginable.

Fox activated the reflector, and the primid was sent flying into his mates, knocking them down like dominos, all the while wondering what went wrong. Then in an incredibly fast dash – dubbed by Fox "the Fox illusion" – Fox scooped up the primid and slammed them into a wall, leaving Pikachu to wonder where his idol had gone. Fox promptly treated those who survived this brutal tackle to a point blank firing squad.

* * *

Meanwhile, Samus was grinding her teeth. Her usual tactics – run and gun – weren't working that well. These guys weren't space pirates – they just packed on the offensive all the time, and had no second thoughts about kamikaze attacks. These guys wanted a melee, not a shoot-out.

Well, okay. Change of plan. Time to bring out that flamethrower her gun arm had acquired recently. She could do it man-to-man easily. _Or rather woman-to-purple freaky thing, _she added.

Samus swung her legs in a full circle, throwing the surrounding primid in the air. With a few blasts of flame, they were incinerated. Okay. What next?

Samus promptly heard a screech from above, and looked up to see one of the most pathetic looking attacks ever recorded in the entire history of mankind.

A sword primid had jumped in the air, and was riding its sword on a one-way trip to her head in the wobbliest way possible. The attack was made to look even more futile when Samus simply used her screw attack to slice trough him like a chainsaw. Samus used her mid air position to drop a few bombs on the primid's heads and landed on the other side of the primid wall that had assaulted her.

Right in the path of a very pissed-off sword primid.

She couldn't move right away after using the screw attack, so she couldn't avoid the oncoming charge. She was about to take a hit…

"PIKA!"

Samus and the primid looked up to see Pikachu summoning a lighting bolt above, which ended the sword primid's live before it even touched Samus.

Samus stared at the yellow mouse that just helped her. That thing could create thunderstorms!? Her scanners informed her that, yes, it could, thanks to the electricity in it's cheeks.

Samus smiled. Cute _and _deadly. She liked this mouse.

* * *

Brawl was ecstatic. He'd always dreamed that one day he'd fight side by side with the legends he was told about in school, in the library, at bedtime. And now, it was coming true! Here he was, fighting primid with Mario just a few meters away. If anyone had offered him anything to stay at home, he would have looked at them like they had asked him to buy a PS3.

"Hey, Mario! Need any help over there?" shouted Brawl.

Mario did a 360-crouch kick, before hitting one unlucky primid with his "flare fist".

"I'm fine-a. Yoshi sure is-a enjoying himself over there!" chuckled Mario, gesturing over to the happy dinosaur.

Yoshi bicycle kicked a line of primid, before ground pounding the one who managed to duck out of the way of the kick. Following up on this, Yoshi grabbed a scope primid, but then felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Excuse me, but may I borrow your scope primid? I wanna copy his gun ability." asked Kirby, who had finished pretending to be Luke Skywalker.

"Sure!" replied Yoshi, handing over the struggling primid.

"Thanks!"

A few chews and a PLOP-PERWING! later, Kirby had a gun and the primid was a little worse for wear.

"You can finish him off now if you like!" chirped Kirby.

"How jolly nice of you!" replied Yoshi, promptly doing so.

"Share and share alike!" sung Kirby.

And so, Kirby covered Yoshi's back with gunfire while he literally put egg on primid's faces.

Watching all of this, Brawl couldn't help but smile at the friendship of Yoshi and Kirby.

"Piii… KA!"

Brawl stepped back to let a mid-skull-bash Pikachu pass, along with Samus in her morph ball. He heard a WHAM! and an explosion afterwards, but Brawl didn't see what destruction Pikachu and Samus had caused.

"Brawl! Behind you!" came Melee's voice over on the earpiece again.

Brawl turned to catch an attacking sword primid, and with a quick slash sent its sword flying out of its hands. The primid, being of the quicker-thinking variety, responded by punching him in the face, HARD. Brawl himself responded by grabbing the primid and angrily beating it over the head with a baseball bat.

As the primid disintegrated, Brawl said coolly, "Looks like you just struck out, bitch."

"You sure gave him a home-run for his money, bro!" said Melee, not so coolly.

Brawl could hear groaning in the background.

"What? It wasn't that bad, was it? Was it? I'm not that bad at jokes, am I Brawl? Brawl? Hello? Could you say something to clarify my joke-telling skills? Brawl? Brawl! Respond already, you traitorous bastard! BRAWL!!"

Brawl ignored his brother. He wasn't even going to dignify the joke with a response.

* * *

Link growled in frustration as he had to duck behind his shield again as it was pelted with gunfire. A battalion of scope primid had set up on higher ground, and he knew he could fire his bow before they reloaded, and nor could he throw a bomb that high. He needed assistance.

"Hey Fox! Could take out the gunners for me?" yelled Link.

"Sorry Link! But I've kinda got problems of my own here!" replied Fox as he backflip-kicked a few primid.

"Take out the gunners, you say? Sounds like its cakewalk time!" cried Brawl, as he ran over to Link's side, whirling his guns like crazy. He always liked target practice.

Brawl started firing, while Melee cried instructions and applause alike to him over the earphone.

"Left! Right! Up! Down! Top left! Top right! Watch out! Behind you! Nice shot! Triple kill! Frenzy! Over 900 combo!"

Primid fell from above like rain, and Link was free to go on the offensive again.

"Thanks!" he cheered.

"No problem. After all," he said, tipping his hat, "It's my job."

The Ancient Minister groaned inwardly. This was taking to long. If this went on much longer, all the troops they had available would for this ambush would soon run out. Perhaps…

Perhaps it was time for new tactics.

The Ancient Minister suddenly broke into some kind of bizarre whistling, which made primid and smasher alike stop and look at the AM.

"What the hell is he doing?" questioned Fox.

"He appears-a to be whistle-a-ing… Dixie!?" cried Mario.

"Why have the primid stopped?" asked Samus, looking around warily.

The primid appeared to be listening intently to the weird whistling as if it meant something to them, and some primid even went so far to take down notes. Brawl saw two poppants look at each other with a worried look, and then they disappeared into the shadows.

"They're taking orders," mumbled Brawl to himself.

Then, the whistling stopped, the primid nodded, and they did something very unexpected.

They disintegrated back into the purple stuff they were made of.

"That's it? Mass suicide?" cried a confused Link.

"I wish it was…" replied Brawl, frowning as if he knew what would happen next.

The purple stuff suddenly flowed up the wall like it was an amoeba. After climbing up a few stories, half of it solidified back into ten battalions of scope primid, while the other half crawled all the way to the ceiling and hung there like an uncertain raindrop.

Fox and Samus pointed their guns at the scope primid, while Mario, Link, Kirby, Pikachu, Yoshi and Brawl stared at the blob on the ceiling.

Then, without warning, the blob dropped.

"EVERYONE GET BACK!" shouted Brawl as he dragged Fox and Samus out of the impending blob's shadow.

As the blob reached the ground, everyone for a split second saw it solidify, but then they were blown back by the dust cloud generated by the thing the blob had become.

When the dust cleared, Brawl looked up, hearing gasps of surprise from the smashers. He let out a long whistle at what he saw. "That's one big bugger right there…" he muttered aloud.

In front of him was a lone primid, completely normal except for one thing. It was much, much, much bigger. About five times the normal size.

It cracked its knuckles, then held his hand out as if expecting to be given something. At this point, the two poppants Brawl had seen came out of the shadows, dragging a giant boomerang along with them. They hauled it into the giant primid's hand, than ran off panicking back into the shadows.

The armed giant primid got into a fighting position, the scope primid finished loading their guns, the AM chuckled in anticipation…

And suddenly, fireworks literally went off.

Brawl had finally decided to bust out his pride and joy- his treasured cracker launcher. Explosions of colour and gunpowder were everywhere, primid were falling like ducks, and the giant primid was ducking his head to avoid being hit by his falling comrades.

"I'LL TAKE CARE OF THE GUNS! YOU CONCENTRATE ON THE BIG GUY!" yelled Brawl.

The giant primid made the first move by tossing his boomerang at the smashers. It was jumped over easily, and the smashers started their assault on this mega-sized foe.

Yoshi and Kirby used their ground pound and stone ability respectably on the primids feet, which produced the desired effect- the primid started hopping around, cradling it's feet. Fox took the initiative. Now was the time to strike!

Jumping into the air, Fox let flames charge up around him-the fire fox. He had gained this ability on Dinosaur Planet, and had trained to use it without Krstyal's staff. It was time to knock the big guy down!

"FIRE!"

Fox flew right into the primid's face, but this time the attack did not bowl it over as expected. It merely slid back a few meters, like it had been pushed back with a single hand. It had scorch marks on its face, but it merely brushed these off. It was almost unaffected by the attack.

"We listened to your advice, and we made the primid less flammable." The AM told our heroes.

The primid started chasing Fox, but Fox was too quick for him. When he reached a wall, he quickly jumped off it and dashed through the giant's legs, leaving it somewhat confused.

"SEY-YAH!"

It was Link's turn to step up. Doing a spin attack in midair, he caused multiple slashes across its body, before finally stabbing it right the middle of its chest!

The primid looked at Link and the master sword embedded in its chest, then merely plucked him and his sword out of it's chest and threw him right into a wall.

"AAUUGGHH!" cried Link, slamming against the wall. Brawl quickly rushed to check if he was okay, but Link waved him off- he wasn't going to be beaten that easily, but nor was the giant primid.

More purple stuff flowed over the wounds, before solidifying to effectively heal them.

"It can heal itself? Brawl, is this thing invincible?!" asked Link.

"No, it ain't! You just need to keep having a go at it till it can't hold itself together anymore!" cried Brawl.

The primid resumed attacking, and spotted two smashers it was very pissed off with- Kirby and Yoshi. The primid decided it was time for the foot-stompers to receive a taste of their own medicine. Leaping into the air like a dizzy leapfrog, it came crashing down towards our favourite dino and blob duo. Thankfully, the two managed to get out of the way just in time. The primid turned around to chase after them, but then it received a very nasty shock. Literally.

BZZT-ZAP!

Pikachu had jumped up and gave the primid a strong electric shock to his back. This unexpected attack staggered the primid so much it lost its balance and fell over face first.

"Quick! Attack the head!" cried Fox, seeing the opportunity. Fox himself started rapidly kicking the oversized goon, Kirby slide kicked straight into it, and Mario head butted it like it was a strangely shaped question block.

The primid wasn't going to take this lying down, however. (Lying down! get it?! Oh, I'm such a cad.) It swiped the Smashers away with it's boomerang like it was a bent dagger, then jumped back and got ready to throw it's boomerang again.

Samus's scanners however, had discovered something very interesting about the boomerang. It was made of wood; a primitive material harvested from plant life and was _very vulnerable to grinding…_

The primid watched as Samus screwattacked its boomerang. This did not worry the primid, as it knew subspace boomerangs always come back, no matter what! Not even a stupid smasher can stop it! And sure enough, it returned undeterred by its assault. The primid caught and held it in the air like it was some great prize it had won. See! Subspace boomerangs always come back!

CRACK!

The primid watched with an bemused look on it's face as the top half fell off the boomerang from too much trauma, leaving it holding what was effectively a overgrown splinter.

The primid stood there for a few seconds, looking like its mates had just found pictures of him posing in his underwear. Then it simply shrugged, tossed the half-boomerang away like nothing ever happened, then put its hands to its mouth and whistled.

A green light came out of the darkness, which turned out to be the two poppants carrying a giant beamsword. The primid took it from them, and the poppants once again ran off into the darkness.

"Great. Out of the frying pan, into the fire." Groaned Fox.

The primid resumed where it left off- trying to dish out the pain to Yoshi and Kirby, and this time it was successful. With one slash of its green glowing blade, the two smashers were sent flying. They landed with a groan on the floor.

"Yoshi? Are you okay?!" cried Kirby, concerned for his friend.

"Uurrrgh… I'm fine, buddy. I can do this. I've handled giant versions of my enemies before." Said Yoshi, with a faint smile on his face.

Jumping back on his feet, Yoshi cried "alright, big guy. It's time for… **EGGS! TO! THE! FACE!**" and started throwing more eggs around than Gordon Ramsey with a hangover.

Sadly, this barrage of eggs was ineffective. With surprising skill for a primid, it used its huge sword to block every single egg that was thrown at it.

"Awww man!" complained Yoshi. "If projectiles don't work, and we can't get anywhere near it, how are we supposed to defeat it?"

"Don't panic Yoshi!" cried Fox, who along with Pikachu was firing his gun at the huge primid. "It can't block my gunfire, and I'll be dammed if it blocks Pickachu's electric jolts, Link's arrows, or Mario's fireballs!" he pointed over to Mario and Link, who were throwing all their projectiles at the sword-wielding giant.

"But those attacks hardly even scratch it!" groaned Pikachu.

Fox was about to respond, when a yelp of surprise came from the primid. It looked like it had stepped on something quite painful.

It turned out that Samus in her morph ball form had taken advantage of the distraction the egg barrage caused, and was laying bombs under the giant's feet. While the bombs weren't that strong, it seemed that there was nothing that the primid could do to escape from this constant chain of foot-hurting explosions.

Sadly, it didn't last forever. Finally putting its job before it's feet in the grand scale of things twenty bombs later, the primid kicked Samus away with a yowl of frustration. The unfortunate Samus ricocheted off the walls like a pinball, before changing back into her normal suit form and collapsing on the floor in a heap.

"Well, I'm not doing that again, no matter how badly I hurt it." Growled Samus to Fox. Suddenly, her head looked up in surprise. "LOOK OUT!"

Fox, Kirby, Pikachu, Yoshi and Samus jumped out of the way of a sudden series of slashes the primid pulled off. It wasn't going to play games anymore. It was time to finish these non-believers, right here, right now. With that in mind, it started perusing the five heroes.

"Oh, great! How are we supposed to attack it from afar when it's chasing after us, hey, Fox?" complained Kirby.

"SHUT UP AND RUN LIKE THE DICKENS!" was the only reply Fox could muster.

Behind the rampaging giant, however, lay a glint of hope, in the form of Mario and Link. The guys in red and green were _trying _to catch up to the primid so they could deliver a stab in the back.

"Goddammit! It's too fast to catch up with!" cried Link.

"You're right… we'll have to approach it in another direction!" muttered Mario.

"WHAT? But if we try to approach it head-on, it'll just trample right over us!" yelled Link.

"Head-on? I didn't mean head on… I meant from above!" cried Mario. And with that, Mario started climbing upwards by wall jumping. Link watched him with awe as he performed this task, a task made somewhat more difficult by the fact Brawl was still firing shots at the scope primid above, and Mario had to avoid the pretty explosions of gunpowder.

"HEY! Could ya lay off the ka-booms for a second, Brawl?" shouted an irritated Mario after he just missed being blown up.

"Sorry, mate! My trigger finger won't listen to me!" replied Brawl, not stopping for a single second due to adrenaline overload.

After finally reaching a suitable height, Mario let go of the wall and dove toward the giant below, with a cry of "HERE WE GO!!"

The primid, upon hearing this outburst, looked up to see the plumber falling towards him, but by then it was too late. Mario reared back a fist and punched him right between the eyes, an attack made even more painful by terminal velocity.

The giant collapsed onto it's back with a loud SLAM, and once again war was declared on its head. Mario carried on punching between the eyes, Samus used her flamethrower on it till it was burnt black, and Yoshi gave it an over-due egging to the face.

"I told you you'd get some eggs to the face! And now what's happened? You're getting **EGGS TO THE FACE! **That's what! YAHOO!!" said Yoshi ecstatically.

The primid slapped its attackers off him, and then stood up with a roar, holding its beamsword with one hand high above its head.

"Hiii!"

The primid looked round to see where this sudden cry of cuteness came from, and found that, much to its surprise, it came from it's beamsword. For there was Kirby, hanging off the sword handle, with a big smug grin on his face.

"YAH-EEH!"

The primid could only watch in horror as Kirby leapt straight into the air, and came straight down again, bringing his final cutter straight through the centre of the sword handle. The beamsword was destroyed in a large explosion, flinging the giant primid away into the wall.

What the primid did next could only be described as a temper tantrum, but seeing that it was 30ft tall, it was a very scary temper tantrum indeed. This kind of anger was reserved for the people who found said photos and put them on the internet, but today it was focused on the midgets who dared mock him. It's angry roaring signalled the return of the poppants, this time carrying a giant gun. The inpatient primid grabbed the gun before the unlucky poppants could let go, which sent them flying into a wall with such force they stuck to it like flies to a windshield.

The primid automatically started firing, causing the seven smashers to run for cover.

"Great! Just great! It just doesn't end with this guy!" complained Fox.

"It's not that bad, Fox! Sure, we're against a giant who's simultaneously having a flidd and trying to blow us up, but if we can dodge the gunfire, we can start beating him up again!" said Kirby positively.

"Yeah, because dodging gunfire is _really easy_. You just put on pitch-black sunglasses and lean back _in slow motion_!" replied Fox with 100 tons of sarcasm.

"Wait! Listen!" cried Link.

"What's there to listen to? All I can hear is the sound of gunfire." Questioned Fox.

"Yes, but what else can you hear?" asked Link.

Fox strained his ears, before replying, "nothing!"

"Not even the sound of fireworks going off?"

"No!"

"Hang on!" cried Mario. "If the sound of fireworks going off has stopped, then that means-"

"Hey, purple pants! Guess who just came back from blowing your mates up!" yelled Brawl from behind the giant primid.

* * *

The giant primid turned round and instantly froze upon seeing that Brawl was pointing a cracker launcher at him. Being on the receiving end of a cracker launcher is an unpleasant and unwanted experience even for giants.

" You know, I've just taken out 10 battalions of primid with this baby." Said Brawl coolly, patting his cracker launcher. "And I don't think one primid with a size complex will be a problem. Expect… it appears we have a little situation."

Brawl paused for dramatic effect. He had always wanted to do this.

…

"**Oi! Get on with it!"** complained Melee over the headphones.

_Bloody critics, _thought Brawl.

" I know what you're thinking, punk." Brawl continued. "You're thinking: did he use all his ammo on my mates? Or did he keep a few shots spare for the big guy? Well, to tell you the truth, in all the excitement, I forgot the ammo capacity of my cracker launcher. So seeing this is a guy Fawkes 2000, the most powerful cracker launcher in the world, and can blow your head clean off, I guess the question is…"

Brawl grinned madly. "**…Do you feel lucky, punk?**"

"Really? I thought the question was how long can we parody Dirty Harry before we get our ass sued."

"MELEE! YOUR'E RUINING THE MOMENT!" yelled Brawl.

"I'm only saying!"

"(Sigh) whatever. Where were we? Ah, yes. Well, punk? Do ya?" continued Brawl.

The primid seemed to do a double take, but then the AM interrupted.

"Oh, just shoot him already! It's not like he's going to spare your life if you are lucky!" chided the AM.

The primid finally pointed his gun at him, but Brawl's finger had already reached the trigger, and started blasting the primid with a devastating barrage of…

Clickclickclickclickclick.

Oh shit. He did get lucky after all.

Thankfully, the not-too-bright primid was charging up his shot, rather than just shooting straight away. This gave Brawl a few seconds to think. The problem was thus: all his guns were out of ammo, there was no way he could get close to the primid to use his sword before being shot, and the shot was too powerful to be reflected. How could he stop the primid from firing?

_All right, just calm down._ Thought Brawl. _What would master Sakurai say if he was here?_

"**YOU MUST RECOVER!**"

_Well, other than that, of course._

"Remember, Brawl, if there's more than one way to skin a cat, than there's more than one way to get out of a fix. Look at what you have, and think: what have I not tried yet?"

_Okay, what have I not tried yet? Let's see… oh, wait! Of course! I could give that a try! It may not work… but it's all I've got!_

Brawl took his cracker launcher in his right hand, reared back… and threw it straight at the primid's face.

The primid was staggered by the impact. While it wasn't enough to knock it over, it was enough to make it misfire it's shot. It went miles off, missing Brawl completely and started rebounding off the walls, till inevitability, it hit the largest thing in the room. Yep, it hit the giant primid right in the back of the head, and boy, did it hurt.

The primid screamed in pain, and nearly doubled over, but its anger kept it on its feet. Recovering its composure, it copied what Brawl just did and threw its gun at Brawl. He was sent flying with a cry of "AAARRGGHH!!" into the wall, but he was about to experience something even more painful.

Melee's eyes widened in horror as he saw on the TV screen his brother being rapidly punched by giant fists.

"BRAWL! NOOO!"

The seven smashers tried to attack the giant to stop it punching Brawl, but the primid kicked them away without even letting up on his attack on Brawl. Everyone could only watch as Brawl was punched again… and again… and again…

Finally, the primid reared back one final punch. This was it. The finisher. There was no way Brawl could remain conscious after this attack. And by the way Brawl's eyes were closed and his mouth hung open slightly, it looked like he already was.

Melee closed his eyes as the fist sped towards its target…

Which is a total shame, because he missed the amazing spectacle of Brawl opening his eyes and whipping out his bumper shield to reflect the huge punch at the last moment.

With a sound like a pinball bouncing off a bumper, the punch bounced harmlessly off the shield, back into the giant's face. It yelled in surprise, making Melee open his eyes again. "Bro? Did you just recover?" asked Melee with a hint of surprise.

Melee smiled as he got a savage war cry in return. That was his bro alright- only he roared after he got his own back on someone.

And he wasn't finished yet. Using his bumper like a trampoline, Brawl jumped up and managed to grab onto the giant's face, and started attacking it… with a paper fan.

It was a spectacular sight, with the primid stumbling about, seemingly stunned by the rapid slapping of paper, and with Brawl crying out for all to hear: "I AM DA MASTA OF DA PAPERCUTS, MOTHAFUCKA!!" (The author apologizes for the stupid language used in the last sentence. He claims he read too much haxor speak at the time of writing. Or maybe he was pissed at the time. We just don't know.)

"Quick! Attack it before it slaps Brawl off him! Or before the reader starts moaning about how the OC keeps taking centre stage all the time- OW!" cried Fox, as he was hit by a brick by the author, which came along with the message, _shut up and get on with it before you break the fourth wall again. Ed._

So the seven smashers joined in, with Fox, Samus, Pikachu and Yoshi firing projectiles at it, and Link, Kirby and Mario delivering kicks to the body.

Unfortunately, no matter what they did, it seemed the primid was determined not to fall over and have it's head kicked in. after a couple of minutes slapping, it was still alive and kicking, and Brawl's arm was starting to get tired.

Just as he was about to pull a muscle, he noticed a flash of white light behind the primid's head. Brawl stopped slapping for a moment to see what it was. It turned out to be a floating white ball with a familiar looking cross in the bottom left corner…

"SMASH BALL!" shouted Brawl excitedly. Mario, Link, Kirby and Pikachu immediately stopped what they were doing and started chasing after it, while Fox, Yoshi and Samus wondered what the hell Brawl was shouting about. And why was everyone going off after a stupid white ball that floated around?

Sadly, this let-up in slapping allowed the giant primid to slap Brawl off its face, and it quickly ran over to pick up its gun before anyone destroyed that. Quickly whirling round to face the smashers, gun in hand, and blasted at them. As a result, the four pursuers of the smash ball had to duck for cover, interrupting their chase. It came exceedingly obvious that the primid did not want a final smash to ruin its day, and would do anything to prevent the smashers from getting the smash ball.

"Oh, way to go, Brawl! If you had just kept slapping the big guy, we could have got the smash ball ages ago!" complained Pikachu.

"My arms were getting tired!" retorted Brawl.

"Why does everyone want this stupid ball?" asked Samus.

"You'll find out when one of us gets it!" exclaimed Mario, who was trying to dodge gunfire and chase after the white globe of power at the same time, without much success.

* * *

"For the love of Din…" swore Link. Goddammit again! They were so close to finishing this guy off, but there was no way they could get the smash ball now it had its gun back! Heck, the smash ball even looked like it was mocking him, floating causally over the red feather on the top of the primid's head.

Wait a minute… he had an idea…

Link pulled out the hookshot and pointed it at the tip of the giant red feather. With a prayer to the three goddesses, Link fired, and the hookshot sailed away towards its target, which it hit with the accuracy the hero of time was famous for. As Link was pulled towards the feather and the smash ball, he couldn't help but smile.

Because, for all the pain he went through, toppling giants was always satisfying.

* * *

Primid have only one definition of bad: pain. The signal that you're being unsuccessful in killing someone, the signal that you're going to die without fulfilling Master's dream. On occasion, however, there are exceptions. Like when Master Hand is pissed off. That's bad. Or when Crazy Hand gets pissed- after too many beers, that is. And that primid could tell that tiny green guy with a tiny sword flying towards his head was definitely a bad thing.

It was too late for it to react now. Upon reaching his destination, Link dismounted off the tip of the feather like a gymnast and slashed through the smash ball with his sword. It didn't quite break it, and it fly off, wounded. But Link wasn't letting it get away. He jumped after it, and used his spin attack to slice through it like a tornado in a knife shop!

At last, the smash ball broke with the final stroke of the attack. Link landed on the ground…

And an enormous amount of power surged into his body. The rainbow aura appeared around him, the world seemed to focus on him again, and his eyes glowed yellow with the power of leftover energy from the space-time continuum.

Everyone watched as he turned around, as he shot a beam of light out of the triforce in the back of his hand, as the beam trapped the giant primid in between two giant triforce shapes, and as Link darted towards his prey with unstoppable speed.

What happened next could only be described as a one-man massacre. Link delivered each sword blow so fast it was hard to even see when the sword stayed still. And this time, it definitely appeared to be no more shadow bugs to heal the wounds. The primid was near death.

Link paused to rear his sword back for the final strike, allowing him to cry the last words the primid would ever hear.

"**FOR HYRULE!**"

And with an incredibly strong stab that shattered the golden triforces, the primid torn apart and almost exploded into 30 different parts, which evaporated shortly after they hit the ground.

* * *

The fight was over. For a while, all that could be heard was the angry mutterings of the AM as he hastily teleported out of there before Brawl taunted him.

Then there was silence.

"WOAH! Your final smash is super-cool, Link!" said Kirby.

"Thanks, Kirby." Said link with a sheepish grin.

"So if I get this smash ball, I can do something like that?" Fox asked Pikachu.

"Yep." Said a jealous Pikachu, who had wanted to try his out.

"That's something I'll have to look forward to." Chuckled Fox.

More silence. It was interrupted by a soft hiss.

"I don't know about you lot, but I could use some st. Clements right now." Said Brawl, before he chugged down some of his favourite drink from a bottle. Stopping after drinking half the bottle, he stopped to ask: "does anybody else want some?"

There was a clunk sound as Samus took her helmet off to reveal a surprisingly good-looking face. The fact the other six smashers already knew she was a woman reduced the surprise a little, but she was still unexpectedly good-looking.

"Personally, I'd kill for a drink." Said Samus calmly.

Brawl _VERY_ quickly handed the bottle over. After all, when Samus says she'll kill to have some thing, she means it.

* * *

Right, you finished reading? You haven't screamed bloody murder over the swearing? Good. Because there are things I want to ask you guys. 5 things.

(1) If you could the 4 chapters their own grade, what would it be?

(2) Do you think Brawl (the OC) takes centre stage too much?

(3) did you spot the matrix joke in this chapter?

(4) how many spelling mistakes did I make in this chapter?

(5) WHY THE HELL DID NO ONE REVIEW THE CHAPTER 4 PREVEIW?

If you could possibly answer these questions when you review, I'll give you cookies. And feel free to ask any questions about this story! I don't mind! Heck, I just want to know if there's anything that annoys you, so I can root it out! So please, review so I can make you lot happy. Do it! DO IT NOW!

Now… SCRAM!


	5. Chapter 5 part one

I have taken way too long to update- and even now, i've only done half of what i promised to do! ARRGGHH!

i'm sorry. but i just want you guys to know i'm still alive, i'm still typing and i will never give up on this fic. as proof, take this half a chapter and enjoy. then PM me demmanding that i do the other half faster on pain of death. i will upload the other half when it's done, and i will combime both halfs when i complete chapter six. if i live that long. (gulp)

WARNING! THIS CHAPTER HALF IS SO FUNNY, YOU COULD SEIROUSLY DAMAGE YOUR HEALTH! UMBRELLON MASTAH FELL OFF HER CHAIR LAUGHING FROM JUST ONE PARAGRAPH! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

* * *

**CHAPTER 5- MONKEYS! LUNCH! AND, ER, THAT GREEN GUY… (part one)**

"Damm! So close! If it hadn't been for that accursed smash ball, we may have stood a chance…" growled Master Hand when the AM told him the news.

"Yes, it would have been a victory for you if they hadn't got lucky, sir!" replied the AM enthusiastically, who was thanking the stars that the giant primid was finished by a smash ball, otherwise Master Hand would have strangled him for losing so easily. It seemed as long as a smash ball was involved, the AM was off the hook… "For now," as Master Hand said himself.

"So the ambush failed? I knew that ambush was a bad idea!" said Crazy Hand with an annoying amount of happiness.

"(Sigh) Well, perhaps on reflection, sending in just plain old primid was a bad idea. Next time I will send in our newer creations! As for when our next strike shall be, I shall have a little think over that. So, for now Ancient Minister, make sure our newer troops get their training done." Said Master Hand thoughtfully.

"Of course." Said the AM, before floating off to complete this task.

"Yeah, sending in old fashioned primid was really stupid, but who you know what was even more stupid? The fact you didn't just blow the spaceship up while the smashers were inside! I mean, we could have destroyed all chances of defeat with a single button push, but nooooo, my bro's too busy being high and mighty to spot these things! I could see this opportunity from miles away, but I didn't tell you cause I thought you were smart enough to already know! But I suppose you are a bit thick, after all! You really are a complete dunderhead like me, bro! (Sniff) I'm so proud…" said Crazy, not thinking for one moment about the consequences of patronising his brother.

Throughout this speech Master hand had slowly lost his relaxed floating state, and by now was stiffer than concrete. It was obvious that Master Hand had never spotted this chance, and would have wanted Crazy to tell him about this kind of thing. Crazy noticed this state of stiffness, and started slowly backing off.

"Uh oh. I know what that look means… please don't taze me, bro… no! Don't taze me, bro! DON'T TAZE ME, BRO!" yelled Crazy in fear.

BZZZT-ZAP!

"AAARRRGGGHHH!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!! YOU'RE FUCKING TAZING ME BRO!! CRIPES ALMIGHTY!!FFUUUCCKKK!!"

* * *

"Left a bit… careful… mind those flowers…"

The garden of smash mansion was large, and was silent, apart from the environmental noises that had to be played over the speakers to keep the never-ending silence of empty space from scaring people. Today however, the gentle hum of Samus's ship could be heard as it tried to park near some flowers.

Samus had by now been told about the legend of the hands and her role as one of the smashers, and also had the chip installed. She had agreed to come with them to save all existence, on one condition: her ship had to be safe. Everyone quickly agreed to this, because as Smash said himself, "The last thing you need after saving the world is to find your ride's been nicked by some bastard that has a lust for wheels. I know your ship doesn't have wheels, but still…"

As a result, Brawl was now helping Samus make sure she didn't knock any trees over. After all, any chozo warrior would be deeply ashamed to kill off even a tiny fern, and Samus was no different.

As the ship slowly came to land, Parasol, Kirby, and Pikachu watched them. Mario, Fox, Yoshi and Link had gone to look round the garden some more, leaving Kirby and Pikachu to laze around. Parasol had joined them to watch Brawl wave his hands around to stop the daffodils from being run over, and was now engaging in conversation with Kirby, while Pikachu snored quietly.

"You've got some nice weather here!" chirped Kirby, pointing to the sunny skies above.

"Yep. In fact, it's the only weather we have." Smiled Parasol.

"Huh?"

"The sky isn't real, you see. It's holographic." Parasol continued.

"Why do you need a holographic sky?" asked Kirby.

"Well… you see the mansion and all the stuff around you?"

"Yep."

"That's all that exists around here. We're just living in a mansion on top of a rock floating in empty space. Heck, we don't even have a sun around here. All the plants rely on artificial light and we have to have a giant central heating system just to have any warmth at all." said Parasol.

"Wow!" gasped Kirby. "It must be kinda boring for you around here."

"Sorry?"

"I mean, living cooped up in the house and it's gardens, day in, day out, must get boring after a while, even in a place as big as this!" exclaimed Kirby.

"Oh, it's not that bad! I mean, there are books and TV and music and stuff to keep us occupied. It's not like we just sit around all day waiting for primid to show up!" giggled Parasol.

"Mind you, I would just love to go with Brawl into other dimensions. There's a thousand legends out there, they say… and I want to see them!" said Parasol ecstatically.

"Then why don't you?" asked Kirby.

"I'd have to ask Brawl's permission for that. He's in charge of whose allowed to come with him. He's a bit busy right now, what with all this fighting against the primid and stuff, so I'll think I'll ask to come with him tomorrow..." Said Parasol thoughtfully.

"But why is he in charge of all this important stuff? And where do you get your food? I don't see any vegetable patches around here." Questioned Kirby.

"It's kind of complicated… oh wait! Brawl's coming back! Maybe he'll explain it to you!" exclaimed Parasol, pointing over to Brawl.

And sure enough, Brawl had finally got Samus's ship to park without disturbing the flowers, and was walking back to the mansion with Samus.

"HEY BRAWL! Parasol just told me about the holographic sky! Where do ya get your food from if you don't have any veggie patches around here?" asked Kirby noisily.

At the mere mention of the words "holographic sky," Brawl's smile was replaced with a slight frown. A split-second later however, the smile returned, but rather weakly.

"Well, that's something we'll talk about after lunch. Right now, I just want to get one more smasher in before I have a break." Said Brawl.

Kirby nodded in agreement.

"HEY KIRBY! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT!"

Kirby turned round to see an excited Yoshi run up to him.

"Me and Mario went to the edge of the garden, and guess what we found? We're on a big rock floating in the sky!" said Yoshi excitedly.

"It's not even a real sky! It's just one big hologram! We're just on a big rock floating in completely empty space!" said Kirby boastfully.

"WOAH! REALLY? I gotta tell the guys about this!" said Yoshi, turning to go back to Mario and co. in the same way he came. "HEY GUYS! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT!"

"What's all this about rocks?" asked Pikachu, who had been stirred out of his slumber by Yoshi's yelling.

"Me and Parasol were just talking about this whole place is just one big rock floating in empty space!" said Kirby happily.

If you had looked at Brawl's face as the above conversations took place, you would have seen his smile slowly fade away, as if these conversations were sapping away his happiness. But this was nothing compared to what happened next.

"Wow! That's amazing!" Pikachu turned to Brawl. "You guys must get really lonely sometimes! Am I Right, Brawl?"

As soon as that question came out of Pikachu's mouth, Brawl stopped in his tracks, and his expression was one of horror. A split-second later, it changed to one of extreme anger, like he was about to strangle Pikachu for even daring to bring that subject up. A split-second after that, he looked like he was about to break into tears. A blink of an eye later, he finally recovered his composure, albeit with a deep frown on his face.

Staying quiet for a few uncomfortable seconds, he finally responded quietly - "I don't like to talk about it."

Samus saw all this, and recognized the expressions on Brawl's face. The horror of never contacting another person. The anger of being abandoned. The despair of knowing there was no escape.

Brawl, despite all his friends and family, was like everyone else who lived here. Alone. Alone on a rock they were never allowed to leave. Samus realised that Brawl's happy behaviour was caused by the arrival of the primid, because now he could actually go out into other worlds, rather than stay at home all day…

Like he did every single day of his life.

"HEY YOU LOT!" hollered Brawl over to where Mario and co. was hanging around. "I HATE TO BE A PAIN, BUT WE'VE STILL GOT WORK TO DO! CHOP, CHOP!"

Confused by the sudden depression Brawl just went through, Pikachu asked Kirby: "what the heck was that about?"

"I think I know what Brawl's talking about." Interrupted Samus. "And I, too, would advise you not to bring up the subject of loneliness again."

And with that, Brawl and the seven smashers went back inside like nothing had happened. But Kirby and Pikachu would not forget the other side of Brawl they saw when they asked about loneliness. Not for a long time.

* * *

CHIRP! CHEEP! ROAR! HOOWWL! RIBBIT!

All jungles are noisy places, and this one was no exception. It would be extremely difficult for anyone to hear anything other than random animal roars and chirps. If you were extremely lucky, you might be able to make out the rustling of leaves as eight travellers made their way through a mess of leaves, roots and trees.

"Crikey! It's a bit loud around here!"

"What did you say, Brawl?"

"I said, it's a bit loud around here, isn't it Kirby?"

"What?"

"I SAID, IT'S A BIT LOUD AROUND HERE!"

"Speak up! I can't hear you over all this noise!"

"**I SAID, IT'S A BIT LOUD AROUND HERE!**"

"WHAT?"

"Aw, sod it!"

There was three loud BANG!s as someone fired their gun into the air. The jungle promptly went quiet.

"I SAID, IT'S A BIT LOUD AROUND HERE, ISN'T IT?!"

There was a short pause before Kirby replied: "No it isn't. I can't hear anything."

There was a loud groan from Brawl and the distinctive sound of someone banging their head against a tree.

A coconut tree, to be precise.

BONK!

"AAHHHH! MY HEAD! STUPID FUCKING COCONUTS!"

* * *

After a few minutes trudging through the rainforest floor, with Brawl clutching his head and muttering even more obscenities all the way, the light of a clearing surrounded by banana trees could be seen… and monkeys chattering could be heard.

"Hey, look, monkeys!" Pikachu pointed at the small simians, known as ukiki's.

"Monkeys? Oh, mamma mia! Not monkeys!" moaned Mario.

"What's so bad about monkeys? They don't look like they're dangerous to Me." asked Kirby.

"Monkeys have a tendency to steal Mario's hat. They also sometimes attack me for laughs…" explained Yoshi, glaring at the monkeys angrily.

"Monkeys are troublesome." Link agreed. "But if you get to know them, they can be quite nice. They helped me out a lot once."

"You're lucky. Where I come from, monkeys have a tendency to be evil scientists bent on taking over the Lyat system." Grumbled Fox.

There was a long silence while the others tried to comprehend this bizarre sentence.

"Wait, hold on. We're sitting here watching a bunch of monkeys eat bananas. Please don't tell me one of those monkeys is a smasher!" griped Samus.

"No. We're not here to talk to those monkeys; we're here to wait for someone else. And seeing as it's almost lunchtime, he should be coming here any minute now…" said Brawl, looking at his watch.

As soon as those last words came out of Brawl's mouth, a sudden primal roar came the jungle, making the monkeys look up.

"Oh crikey! The big guy's coming!" trembled one monkey.

"Time to get of here! You know how possessive he is with his bananas!" yelped another monkey.

"Yeah! If you even touch one of them, you'll have a headache for weeks!" replied the scared monkey.

And with that, the monkeys scampered away back into the jungle, leaving the clearing empty and silent. But not for long, because soon after the monkeys left, rustling could be heard coming from where the roar came from. Whatever that thing that scared the monkeys away was; it was approaching the clearing, fast.

Alarmed by this turn of events, Link, Fox and Samus readied their weapons, Pikachu and Kirby perked up in surprise… and Mario and Yoshi looked confused.

"I think I recognize that roar…" thought Yoshi to himself.

"Big guy, likes bananas, roars really loud… Brawl, do I know this guy?" asked Mario.

The only response Mario got from Brawl was a bigger grin than usual.

And at that every moment, a enormous necktie-wearing ape leapt out of the trees into the clearing and banged his chest so loudly, everyone had to step back to avoid bursting their eardrums.

Once this ape calmed down, it promptly started gathering bananas. It was interrupted, however, by a moustached plumber coming out of the trees with a cry of "DK!"

At first DK looked round with a expression of intense annoyance on his face, but this turned into a large smile upon seeing Mario.

"Mario! Where you been, man!"

Brawl and Yoshi entered the clearing behind Mario. Curious at the fact this large ape seemed to be friendly with Mario, the others followed.

"Man, it's been a while since I saw your face! Oh, and Yoshi's here too! I haven't seen the two of you together since the last tennis tournament!" said DK cheerfully.

"I know! How long-a has it-a been since then-a? Six months? Gosh, it really has been ages!" replied Mario.

"Yeah, you can say that again! So how's your life been recently?"

"Oh, the usual- plumbing jobs, saving the princess, the occasional platforming masterpiece- how's yours, DK?"

"Not much- just barrel racing, bongo jamming… still waiting for Nintendo to make that sequel to Donkey Kong 64, sadly…"

"Tough break, DK…"

While this cheery conversation went on, Samus asked Yoshi: "you let giant apes enter tennis tournaments round here?"

"Of course we do! Otherwise it's, like, racist!" replied Yoshi.

"So what are you doing here in a place like this? Has Bowser started hiding in the Kongo jungle or something? And who are all the new guys? I haven't seen them before… is this one of these paper Mario games or something?" asked DK, as he resumed gathering bananas.

"Oh! Of course-a! This is Brawl, Link, Kirby, Pikachu, Fox, and Samus." Explained Mario.

DK took a good look at the six new faces, before chuckling: "well, they're a mixed bunch of bananas for sure. And you came here because…?"

"Ah! I'll handle this, Mario." Brawl told Mario. "Now, DK, the reason we're here is because we need your help!"

"You need help? Of course I'll help! What you need help with?" said a grinning DK.

"To save the world." Said Brawl in a tone that made him sound like he was talking about making Sunday tea.

DK put his hands up and shook his head, frowning. "Whoa there, cowboy. I don't do this saving the world lark. I'm just a monkey who looks after his island. I'll beat up anyone who causes trouble on my patch, but I'm not superman. That's Mario's business."

"If you don't help, DK, everything in existence will be turned into a trophy." Said Brawl in a more serious tone.

DK appeared to be in deep thought for a while as he stroked his chin. After a long pause, DK asked, "does that include my banana horde?"

"Not just your banana horde, DK, but every single banana in existence." Brawl told him.

"WWWHHHAAATTT!? THE BASTARDS! TROPHIES AREN'T EVEN EDIBLE!!" roared DK, steam literally shooting out of his ears. If there was one way to piss off DK (it rhymes!), it was to try stopping him from eating bananas.

"Well, the only way you can save the bananas, DK, is if you come with us!" exclaimed Brawl.

"Too damm right I will! This is a damm outrage! Who even likes trophies anyway? Come on, Mario, let's go!" griped DK, as he grabbed hold of Mario by the overalls and dragged him back into the forest.

"That's the spirit, DK!" cheered Brawl. "Let's go and… wait… DK! YOUR'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY! COME BACK!"

* * *

"You want some ice for your head, DK?"

"Nah, man! I'm harder than most monkeys. And you don't get anywhere without being bonked on the head when you're dealing with kremlings, that's for sure…" replied DK, who was rubbing his head a little after having the translation chip installed.

"Fair enough. All right then, it's time for lunch!" announced Brawl, who gestured for the smashers to follow him to the dining room.

"Have you got bananas?" asked DK.

"Of course!"

"Have you got gourmet soup?" asked Link.

"Yep!"

"Have you got blackberries? I love that stuff!" asked Pikachu.

"Indeedy-doody!"

"Alright!" said Pikachu, pumping his fist in the air.

"Have- have- have you got CHEESECAKE!?" cried Kirby, who looked too excited for words.

"Sorry, Kirby. Cheesecake is for dessert only." Brawl told Kirby.

"Wha? No… no cheesecake?" whimpered Kirby, who looked on the verge of tears.

"Now, now, Kirby, it's not that bad." Brawl said as he put his hand on Kirby's shoulder. (But Kirby doesn't have any shoulders! Ed.) "You'll just have to have maxin tomatoes for lunch instead." He continued, a big smile appearing on his face.

Kirby's face lit up like a slot machine. "MAXIN TOMATOES?! REALLY?! YOU'RE NOT PULLING MY LEG?!" he cried, nearly foaming at the mouth with excitement.

"As many as you like." Brawl confirmed.

"**BANZI!!**" yelled Kirby, as he ran off down the corridor in pursuit of his favourite vegetable.

"Yeesh. He really loves his food, doesn't he?" joked Fox as they ran after him.

"You think this is bad? You should see him when someone steals his cheesecake!" laughed Brawl.

* * *

The dining room wasn't exactly the most stylish place in the world- with 3 long tables and a pair of double doors obviously leading to the kitchen, it looked more like a cafeteria than somewhere to eat your three daily meals in peace. However, when feeding an entire miniature civilisation, let alone the numerous smashers, practicality tends to rule over aesthetics.

As Brawl and co. entered the room, Kirby could be found curiously looking under the tables in search of food.

"Hey, no fair! There's not even a single crumb of food in here, let alone any tomatoes!" complained Kirby.

"Sit down, Kirby. The food isn't ready yet. Have some patience at least." Chided Brawl.

"All right, I'll right." Mumbled Kirby grumpily, before settling down on a bench to dream tomatoey fantasies. Brawl and the rest sat down, before two strangers entered the room.

"Hey, Brawl! Congratulations on the whole prophecy thing!"

"Saki! Mac! Just the guys I wanted to see!" cheered Brawl.

Saki, the taller of the two, had blonde hair, a yellow shirt, dark blue trousers, and a gun-sword. Mac, the shorter of the two, had black straight hair, a black vest, and wore green boxing shorts.

Brawl got up to exchange high-fives with the pair.

"I knew you'd be the one, Brawl! You're number one champ material!" complemented Mac.

"No, you're the champ around here, Mac! Always have been, always will be! Don't you ever forget it!" Brawl replied.

"You know I am!" said Mac, giving another high-five.

Brawl turned round to the smashers. "Guys, these are my best mates, Saki and Mac! And I don't suppose I have to introduce you two to the smashers… after all, they're only the people we've been studying for our entire lifetime…" said Brawl sarcastically.

The smashers greeted Mac and Saki warmly.

"Hey!"

"Hi!"

"Nice to meet-a you!"

"Man, I can't believe you got eight of the smashers here already! Brawl, you work fast!" said Saki, clearly star-struck.

"Well, you know me- I don't waste time on getting going!" asserted Brawl.

"Erm… um… could I… can I… um…" Mac sounded nervous, and seemed to want to ask a question that he couldn't find the courage to ask.

"Mac, just say it." Brawl told Mac plainly.

"Um… DK, can I have your autograph, please?" asked Mac, holding up a spare pair of boxing shorts for the monkey to sign.

"Oh! Err, sure you can!" said DK, with a surprised look on his face.

As DK wrote on Mac's spare shorts, Brawl smiled and announced: "while we're at it, does anyone else want a autograph… Saki?"

"Ah! Um, well… Fox, could you sign my gun?" asked Saki reluctantly.

Fox looked up in surprise. "Huh? Oh, sure, Saki!" he replied, before proceeding to sign the firearm while thinking: hey, I could get used to this…

BLAM!

Everyone turned round to see a very panicked Melee burst through the door.

"BRAWL! CRAZY GIRLS AT TWELVE O CLOCK!" he yelled.

"Holy shit!" exclaimed Brawl. "Mac, Saki, we've been preparing for this situation- adopt the defensive position!"

Brawl, Mac and Saki formed a human barrier around all the smashers the crazy girls could be attracted to- Link, Pikachu, Kirby, Fox, and much to her annoyance, Samus. ("Samus, if one of those girls were to go lesbo on you, I would never be able to forgive myself!")

The crazy girls entered in a surprisingly calm manner with innocent looks on their faces. "Oh, Brawl! You don't need to hold back the smashers for us. We want them just as much as they want us!" giggled Clean Sweep, making flirty movements with her hand. (Don't ask.)

"Don't talk bullshit, Clean Sweep. You're about as attractive as the graphics on the virtual boy!" retaliated Saki.

"Oh, come on guys, get out the way. We promise to be gentle with them!" joked Meteor, who started approaching the smashers slowly.

"Oh no you don't! Get back before I start using force!" commanded Mac.

"You wouldn't hit a girl, would you?" said Backstabber, pretending to look scared.

"Backstabber, I am in charge of protecting the smashers. I am allowed to use any means necessary to protect their well-being. Now it just happens that I consider you a threat to the mental health of certain smashers, so if you come one step closer, I will open fire on you!" shouted Brawl. "Now get to the other side of the room and-"

"Oh, come on! This is ridiculous!" complained Fox, breaking out of the human barrier Brawl and friends had formed. "Do you really think I need protection from three fangirls who-"

"GET HIM!!"

With lighting fast speed and the sort of precision reserved for SWAT team missions, the crazy girls tackled Fox and clamped him to the ground. For a second it looked like Brawl would have to save Fox from a thousand unwanted kisses and possibly rape, but someone else saved Fox for him.

"GIRLS!"

Everyone turned round to see a short man in a red suit with a tiny moustache and the daftest haircut known to man. He had his arms crossed and was glaring at the crazy girls like he was about to murder them.

"Oh, crap." Was all Backstabber could say.

"Smash has just had a word with me, and he said that you three here have forcibly snogged Link in what I consider a very inappropriate manner. I had just promised to him I would make sure it would not happen again, and what do I find? I find my three daughters holding down Fox, about to do goodness-knows-what to him, and about to make me look like a complete idiot who can't control his three ill-mannered shallow-minded hyperactive daughters!" yelled the man with the bizarre green haircut that looked like the top of a two-humped camel.

The crazy girls looked at the ground and shuffled their feet.

"I think you owe Link and Fox an apology, don't you? And while you're at it, say sorry to Brawl for wasting his valuable time!" ordered the farther of the crazy girls.

"Sorry, Link. Sorry, Fox. Sorry, Brawl." The three girls mumbled.

"Gee, that really helps heal the trauma I just went through." Said Fox sarcastically.

"Now, you three are going to go to the opposite side of the room, you are going to refrain from even coming within a meter of any smasher, and if I have to see the disgusting spectacle of you three chasing after the smashers like dogs with rabies, I will make sure you do the janitorial duties for a week!" growled the dad.

"DAD!" complained Backstabber.

"Don't you "DAD!" me! If you 're going to embarrass me, then I will embarrass you. Now do as I asked!" retaliated the man with the small moustache.

The crazy girls groaned as they begrudgingly went to the other side of the room.

The man turned to the smashers. "Sorry about that. My name is Dr Wright, and I must apologize for my three daughter's… scandalous behaviour, shall we say. Please find the heart to forgive them for the problems they've caused you… because I know I won't." mumbled Dr Wright, glaring at his daughters.

"Well, thanks at least for getting rid of the craz… I mean, your daughters for us. That saved us some trouble at least." Said a neutral Brawl.

"Hey! Did you just say you're a doctor? Cause after that attack, I've got a headache that use some healing right now." Asked Fox, rubbing his head.

"Huh? Oh! Sorry, I'm not that kind of doctor. You see, when I say I'm a doctor, I mean I have a doctorate in town planning… not the most useful thing in the world for saving all of existence, I know… but as I say, one does what one does best." Admitted Dr Wright.

"Ah, well. I'll just have to find someone who's best at getting icepacks." Joked Fox.

"Indeed!" laughed Dr Wright. "Now do excuse me. I must make sure my daughters don't leave my sight. Clean Sweep, stop blowing kisses at Link this instant!" ordered Dr Wright, as he left to try and tame his wild daughters.

Brawl, Mac, Saki and Melee sat down with a sigh of relief.

"Thank god that's over," sighed Brawl.

"Yeah. For a second there I thought Fox would drown in a sea of teenage hormones." Joked Melee.

BLAM! Smash burst through the door brandishing a fire hose normally used by riot police. It was kind of obvious what he intended to do with it.

"All right, you three! You've got to the count of ten to get off Link before I… hey, where are they? I distinctly heard the words "crazy" and "girls" in the same sentence, so they should be all over someone's face by now…" asked Smash with a disappointed look on his face.

"It's all right- I've got them, Mr Smash." Waved Dr Wright. His gaze fell upon the hose, and his expression changed to a look of concern. "Why… have you brought a fire hose with you?"

"Huh? Wha? Oh, this! Heh, heh…" Smash sweated a little. "I… must have picked it up by accident. Yeah… by accident… I'll just go and put it back… yeah…" Smash slowly backed out of the room, before running off to dispose of the evidence.

Brawl covered his face in shame. "Thank god Dr Wright got here, otherwise we would have to dry off Fox…" he groaned.

"Yeah. Personally, I don't think hosing down the crazy girls would be a good idea in any situation. Cause knowing them, they probably just take their clothes off and- OW!" Melee was promptly elbowed by Brawl.

Smash promptly re-entered the room with an embarrassed look on his face and quietly sat down, all the while receiving suspicious looks from Dr Wright. He was followed by Parasol.

"Judging by the noise I heard, I guessed that you had crazy girl problems, and it looks like I was right." Groaned Parasol as she sat down next to Brawl. "God, can't those girls not behave like total airheads for once? They're bringing shame on the female agenda around here!"

"The females have a agenda around here?" said a confused Saki.

"Females can make agendas? OW!" said Melee, before being slapped by Parasol for sexism.

"Well, okay, we don't have a agenda, but they're ruining our reputation! What would the outside world think if they saw those three? They'd think all the girls around here are complete morons! Including me…" Parasol bowed her head in sadness.

Brawl put an arm on her shoulder and ruffled her hair a little. "Don't be silly, Parasol. No one could ever think you're an airhead. You'd wallop them one if they did, for starters." Chuckled Brawl.

"You got that right!" giggled Parasol.

"Plus, you're one of the smartest girls I know. I've never known you to say anything cheesy or cringe-worthy, and I've known you since we were kids." Continued Brawl.

"Aw! Thanks! That's really made my day!" Parasol beamed. "(Sigh) still wish those girls would grow brains, though."

"Well, one day they'll run out of teenage hormones and act like it never happened. It'll take 40 years for that to happen, of course, but you can't everything, can you?" joked Brawl. Parasol laughed at the last sentence.

"Now this is why I love you," smiled Parasol as she gave Brawl a peck on the cheek. "You always find ways to make me laugh."

"And I love you back cause you make me happy." Brawl returned the kiss. "I don't know how- but you do."

"It must be lurve." Purred Parasol.

"Oh no! Parasol just said something cheesy!" cried Brawl in mock horror. "Run for the hills! She's turning into one of the crazy girls!"

Parasol cracked up at that point. She burst into fit of giggles, doubling over in laughter.

"What's so funny, Parasol?" asked a woman who was wearing a dress that had all the colours of the rainbow, with different coloured ribbons hanging off it.

"Nothing, mum." Said Parasol, waving her away and wiping a tear from her eye.

"Right. And I suppose Mr Nothing was also responsible for ruffling your hair?" questioned Parasol's mum.

Brawl went a little red and coughed under his hand, while Parasol simply groaned: "mum…"

"What? Am I the only one not allowed to talk about your boyfriend?" teased the mother.

"Mum, it's not so much you knowing about it, but more about how you have this need to know about everything we do together! Can't we have some privacy?" complained Parasol.

"Ha! I think we all know what you two would get up to if we gave you some privacy!" the mum laughed. Parasol groaned louder, and Brawl, who seemed to be offended by the mother's suggestion, turned his back on Parasol's mum.

"Just kidding, darling. I just want to make sure you two don't do anything daft, okay?" simpered the mum.

"Yeah, because I'm obviously a sex-crazed maniac who can't hang on to his trousers." Muttered a grumpy Brawl.

The mum elbowed him. "Hey! I'm just messing you around! I was just kidding ya! Come on, get over it!" she laughed.

"I shall never forgive you!" replied Brawl in a tone that was halfway between serious and joking.

"Oh, really? In that case, I'll just take this glass of st Clements, then." The mum held up a tray of drinks, with the orangey drink right in the middle of the tray.

"All is forgiven!" cried Brawl, reaching for his favourite drink and taking a large gulp of it.

The mum shook her head. "(Sigh) that boy goes bonkers for st Clements, I can tell you that…" she turned to the smashers. "Oh, excuse me. I should have introduced myself! My name's Mrs Pitcher. I'm Ambler's wife, and I help him out with the drinks around here. Speaking of which, here's yours." She started handing out drinks.

"Thanks."

"Thank you very much."

"Ta!"

"(Drool) tomatoes… huh? What? Oh, thanks for the drink, Mrs whats-her-name!"

"Not a problem!" chirped Mrs Pitcher. "Now, I must go and serve the others. You two look after your sister!" she instructed Mac and Saki. "See you!"

Pitcher walked away, leaving the smashers to enjoy their drinks. Brawl quickly finished his off, letting out a sigh of satisfaction.

At this point Ambler came in with a look of harassment on his face. "Oi! Where've you been?" inquired Mrs Pitcher loudly.

Ambler held his hands up in the air. "Sorry dear. It's just that I stepped on some flowers by accident this morning, and Mrs Hester caught up with me. And we all know what she's like when someone messes up her garden…" he quickly waved to Parasol. "Morning sweetheart!"

"Morning dad…" replied Parasol, rolling her eyes.

"Morning boys!"

"Morning…" muttered Mac and Saki.

"Well, sit down then, and drink your tea before it gets cold." Mrs Pitcher gestured to a lone cup of tea on one of the tables. Ambler gave a sigh of relief, and sat down to drink tea.

Another person entered the room, a lady wearing a white and blue dress with card symbols all over it. (I.e. hearts, diamonds, spades, clubs.) She was approaching Dr Wright and his three daughters, and seemed to be glaring at the crazy girls. Brawl spotted her and called out: "hey! Madame Shuffal!"

Madame Shuffle looked up in surprise. Brawl, gesturing towards the smashers, continued: "Bet you didn't predict this!"

"Indeed! Even I with my future sight could have foreseen today would be the day the prophecy would come true!" Madame Shuffal laughed. "Speaking of which, I think I need a word with you three!" she pointed accusingly at the crazy girls.

Brawl turned back to the smashers. "That's Madame Shuffal, the resident "psychic". Of course, she isn't really psychic, she's just the type who looks at cards and stuff." Explained Brawl.

Mario peered at Madame Shuffal arguing with the crazy girls. "So, I take it-a that she's the moth-ah of the crazy girls, then?" he asked.

Brawl nodded. "Yeah. She's got her hands full with that lot, hasn't she? I bet she wished she could have foreseen that."

"Yeah, that way she would have time to stock up on tranquillisers!" joked Melee.

"OH MY GOD!!"

Everyone turned round to see a girl with brown pigtails in an orange dress holding what appeared to be an enormous flower, who looked like she was about to jump up and down in excitement.

"Oh, no…" groaned Brawl, covering his face with his hands. Parasol glared at him in the way that tells you: do not say anything, or else!

"Oh my god!" repeated the girl, as she approached Brawl and co. "I can't believe the smashers are here! This is the most awesome thing ever! Oh, I could just hug you all!" rambled the girl excitedly.

"What, even Samus? OW!" Brawl was instantly slapped by Parasol for mocking the unknown girl.

"Oh, yeah! I got to introduce myself, haven't I? Oops! Silly me! Anyway, my name's Lip," she curtseyed, "and I'm a fairy!"

As soon as those words came out of Lip's mouth, three things happened.

Firstly, Parasol's glaring at Brawl intensified, secondly, Brawl's face went intensely red, and thirdly, all the smashers instantly thought: uh, oh! We've got a nutter!

Well, except Link, who thought: holy crap! It's Tingle's sister!

"You're… a fairy?" asked Samus, with a slight of dread.

"Yep! And this is my magic wand!" Lip held up the large flower she was carrying like it was some kind of sword.

"That flower? Are you nuts? That won't do anything, let alone magic!" Fox was once again refusing to believe the unbelievable.

"Hey! Don't make fun of me! You might be one of the smashers, but that won't stop me from cursing ya!" moaned Lip with a deep frown on her face, brandishing the "wand" at Fox like she was about to beat him unconscious with it.

Brawl looked up at the mention of the word "curse". "Whoa there! Fox, I know that Lip's stick doesn't look like much, but when you get cursed by Lip, IT HURTS, big time. You do not want to piss off Lip, you hear me?" Warned Brawl.

Fox stood up. "Ha! I can take being hit with a flower! Do your worst!" he taunted.

"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you!" exclaimed Lip with a smile on her face as she reared back her "wand".

PLUNK!

At first, everyone thought nothing had happened, until Fox screamed: "AAARRRGGGHHH!! MY HEAD! DAFFODILS!" and collapsed to the floor, writhing and screaming in pain.

"What the hell?" muttered DK, staring at Fox's seemingly random spazz-out.

"SOMETHINGS MESSING WITH MY HEAD!" shouted Fox. "YOW! DAISIES!"

"What in Zebe's name did Lip do to him?" asked Samus.

"And why does he keep yelling out random flower names?" asked Kirby.

"OOOWWW!! LAVENDER!"

"That's what's she's done to him." Brawl told them, as he pointed to a small flower, similar to the one Lip was holding, that appeared to be growing out of Fox's head. "That flower's interfering with his brain in a very painful way."

"Ha! How'd you like those seedlings, foxy-boy?" taunted Lip with a smug look on her face.

"AAAUUUGGGHHH! GET IT OFF ME! ORCHIDS!"

"All right, all right, don't get your fur tangled." Said Melee, crouching down to help him. "Hold still…"

PLUCK!

With a quick tug, Melee pulled the flower off, and Fox stopped writhing about. "There you go! It's as simple as that!" Melee said coolly.

"Thank god that… leech of a flower is off me! That was like the worst migraine ever!" moaned Fox as he stood up.

"Well, it'll teach you to mess with fairies!" smirked Lip. Fox could only groan in response.

"Parasol, why are you friends with this girl again?" whined Brawl. "She's completely nuts! I thought you were against airheads!"

"She is NOT nuts, and she is most definitely not a airhead!" growled Parasol. "Sure, she might be a little obsessed with fairies… but otherwise, she's a perfectly nice girl! And if you can't cope with being in the same room as her, you'll just have to grin and bear it!"

"LIP!" cried a woman who had just came in the room. She had ginger hair, a freckly face, blue jeans and a pink shirt. "A WORD!"

"Aw, nuts!" grumbled Lip. "It's my mum!"

"Lip!" the mum repeated as she approached the group. "I thought I told you to fertilise the roses this morning!"

"I did!" retorted Lip.

"Yes, but you used compost instead of the miraclegrow I told you to use!" yelled the angry mother.

"Well, I thought it would like compost more!" defended Lip.

The mother groaned in frustration. "Lip, how many times do I have to tell you? If you're not doing EXACTLY as I sat, **YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!**"

"Dear, can you two have this argument somewhere else? You're bursting everyone's eardrums in here…" asked a man who had just entered the room. He wore a black trench coat and hat, and had a puffy face with a big fuzzy black moustache on it.

"Don't interrupt me, Stevie!" yelled the angry woman, now turning on "Stevie". "I'm trying to teach my daughter a lesson here!"

"Okay, firstly, you're embarrassing yourself in front of the smashers, in case you didn't notice," said "Stevie", gesturing to the smashers themselves, "and secondly, I thought we had agreed not to call me "Stevie" in public!" moaned the man.

"Huh?" the woman turned round to look at the smashers, and jumped back in surprise. "AAAH! Um, err… oh, um, sorry! I didn't see you there!" gulped the mum. " Err… sorry about if I disturbed you by arguing with my daughter… it's just that I'm, um, very passionate about gardening, and if, um, somebody messes up the garden, I might sometimes, err, overreact a little…" the mum sweatdropped.

"You can say that again…" sighed "Stevie".

"(Shut up, Stevie…) anyway… I'm Mrs Hester, I'm the gardener around here… and this is my husband, Stevie! He's the mechanic around here." Continued Mrs Hester.

"It's Mr Stevenson, actually, dear…" corrected Mr Stevenson.

"And this is my daughter, Lip!" Mrs Hester placed her hands on Lip's shoulders, smiling nervously. "Well… um, gotta go! BBYYEEE!!" and with that, she ran off in embarrassment, dragging her unfortunate daughter along with her.

Mr Stevenson watched as his wife fled to avoid humiliation. "I'm sorry about that." He told the smashers. "Those two can never agree on gardening matters, and when you're that passionate about gardening, it's a explosion just waiting to happen. I better make sure they don't start arguing again. Here's hoping we meet again in more… quiet times, shall we say. Good day." And so, he left to pursue his wife and daughter.

Brawl sighed. "You think your headache's bad, Fox? After all that, my head feels like a pile of broken glass- i.e. very painful." He groaned.

"Seeing as I've been attacked by fangirls and had my brains messed with by a killer flower, I somehow doubt that." Fox grumbled.

"Is this place always this hectic?" asked Samus.

"No. Usually we keep out of each other's way. But seeing as everyone wants to meet you lot… this table is one big trouble magnet." Explained Brawl.

This was a short silence as everyone complemented this. Brawl took off his hat to wipe the sweat off his brow.

"If you can't stand the heat, you should get out of the kitchen, Brawl."

Everyone turned round to see not one, but two male teenagers.

The first one could have been mistaken for the Fonz. With black-gelled hair, a leather jacket that said "real men use fists" on the back, and red jeans that were jagged at the end, he looked like he was looking for a jukebox to hit. And by the way he was glaring at Brawl, you'd probably think Brawl had stolen it.

If there was one word that could describe the second one, it would be square. He had a chequered shirt, he had chequered jeans, hell, he had even gone and cut his hair at right angles just so he chequer that, too. He looked on Brawl with a cold, emotionless expression on his face.

"Wavedash. Tetris." Brawl growled. "If you're here just for the sake of ruining my day with your never ending gloating, then I recommend for the sake of your health that you leave the room." His hand wandered over his gun.

"I say, you're a bit grumpy today, aren't we?" Laughed Wavedash coldly. "I would have thought you would be more cheerful today, seeing as you're the first person allowed to use the inter-dimensional portal facilities in this place."

"Perhaps the job has got to him already. Perhaps he's going to crack under the pressure. Perhaps he should quit while he's ahead?" said Tetris, his voice devoid of emotion.

"Yes. A simply splendid idea, Tetris. Quit while he's ahead." He said quietly, lowering his face into Brawl's so they were staring eye-to-eye.

"Oh, don't talk BULLSHIT! What do you want, Wavedash? Do you expect me to wave a little white flag in the air and have my position handed over to you, just like that?" yelled Brawl, shoving Wavedash away from his face.

"No, Brawl. I expect you to fail pathetically at your job, come home in a coffee can, and than have your position handed over to the one who deserves it more- ME!" snarled Wavedash.

"Wavedash! Behave! I've already had to deal with my daughters- don't make me have to deal with my only son as well!" commanded Dr Wright from across the room.

"Of course, farther." Said Wavedash, his personality changing like a chameleon. He quickly turned to the smashers. "I must apologise for the awkward introduction. Brawl and me aren't on the best of terms. Anyway, I am Wavedash, and I would be the one guiding you all on your quest, if HE-" he pointed to Brawl- " hadn't got lucky."

"Gee, way to be subtle." Muttered Brawl sarcastically.

"And this is Tetris, one of the smartest people around here. His knowledge of mechanics and weaponry is second only to his farther, Mr Stevenson." Wavedash told them.

"I've always been good with technology." Muttered Tetris. "It must be from father's blood. Oh, yes - my apologies, Fox, for my sister. She is a little over-defensive on her decision on be "away with the fairies", so to speak, but it can't be helped. Sometimes even I have trouble believing that we are related. Needless to say, she does give me a lot of headaches…" he sighed.

"You can say that again." Groaned Fox, rubbing his head.

"Well, it's been nice to finally meet the legendary smashers. But now we have to leave to have luncheon. So we'll leave you marvellous people and your failure of a guide in peace." Said Wavedash, bowing and turning to leave.

"Oi! What's so bad about Brawl? Why makes you superior to him?" shouted Link.

Wavedash turned round to look at Link. "You wanna know how I'm superior to him?" he asked.

"Yeah."

Without a word of warning, Wavedash somersaulted towards Link and landed right in front of him on the table… on his hands.

"Agility." Said Wavedash simply, with a big upside down grin. He promptly leapt off the table and landed soundly back on the floor. "As Brawl and I have the same amount of strength, it would be logical that my agility would lead to his defeat in battle. Therefore, I am superior to him." he continued.

"Well, I've got something that makes me superior to you and all," growled Brawl.

"Oh? And that would be?" questioned Wavedash.

" Intelligence! Something that you don't have." Said Brawl aggressively.

"Intelligence? Don't make me laugh." Snorted Wavedash. "If you had any degree of intelligence, you would have realised how pathetic you are."

"And that, folks, is proof of just how stupid he is." Announced Brawl to the smashers. "Despite being repeatedly told no a million times, he is still under the illusion that he thinks he can pressurise me into giving up to him. I rest my case."

Wavedash frowned in silence for a few seconds, before responding: "humph. Good play, I'll give you that. Perhaps I should stop trying to drive common sense back into your skull. After all… your fall is inevitable." He snarled.

"Go fuck yourself, Wavedash." Said Brawl casually.

"And a nice to day to you, too, you stupid bastard." Said Wavedash, as he left to join his family. Tetris also left to find where the hell his mother had run off to.

"What a dick." Muttered Pikachu. "What was he talking about when he said he wanted your "position"?"

"Well, like my bro has already said, Brawl's in charge of making sure that you smashers don't get lost or dead. Basically, Wavedash thinks Brawl isn't skilled enough to make sure you smashers don't wind up dead." Melee explained.

"More like he's desperate for fame and glory." Sulked Brawl.

"Hey! Come on, Wavedash isn't that bad! Okay, he's a complete arsehole no one can stand when he's in the same room as you, but otherwise, he's a decent person! He's not some evil villain, just… a bit jealous, that's all." Argued Melee.

"More like a bit twat-headed." Mumbled Brawl.

Melee opened his mouth to continue, but was interrupted by a woman bursting out of the double doors with a happy cry of "SONNY!"

The woman in question had brown hair, but it was covered by a pink headscarf. She wore blue trousers, a white shirt, and a blue apron. Her most rememberable feature was her ridiculously large smile, which was whiter than every episode of Friends combined. She quickly dashed over to Brawl and gave him a vicious bear hug.

"Oh sonny, I knew you'd be the one, yes, you've always been the apple tart of your mother's eye, oh, I'm so proud of you, you're my sunshine, you're my pudding, you're my sweetheart and I have every single ounce of confidence in you, yes!" rambled Brawl's over affectionate mother in a slightly Italian accent.

"Mum… mum! MUM! You're going to both embarrass and strangle me to death if you keep this up!" cried Brawl, desperately trying to escape from his mum's ninja-like grip.

"Oh, you know you like it really!" laughed Brawl mother as she released her son from the killer hug. Parasol, Mac, Saki and Melee silently laughed at Brawl's face, which had gone redder than Mario's hat.

"(Oh god, please help me…) ahem… people, this is my mum, and she's the cook round here… (Please don't make her hug me again, please!)" Explained Brawl, as he sweated like he was about to do five rounds with Mike Tyson.

"Yes, that's right! My name is Mrs Shaberunavi – complicated name, I know, but you can always just call me cooking mama, geddit?! Ha ha! – And I'll cook anything you want, from apricot pie to zucchini bake! Cooking's in my blood, you see- I've been wanting to cook all my life, I used to play with one of those plastic ovens when I was small, and when I was in my teenage years… hee hee hee… this'll make you laugh, right… I BURNT CEREAL! HA HAHA HAAA!" roared Mrs Shaberunavi.

"You burnt-a cereal? How the heck-a did you do that-a?" asked Mario, suddenly nervous about Mrs Shaberunavi's abilities as a cook.

"Well, I got really drunk one night, and I had a sudden craving for barbeque flavoured crisps… but we had none available, so I decide to make barbeque flavoured cornflakes - mad, I know! – By putting them in gasoline instead of milk! So then I light it with a match, to barbeque the cornflakes… and FOOM!" she illustrated the "FOOM!" with a sudden hand gesture, "the kitchen was completely singed in ten seconds flat! I had to send a few days in hospital after that… Ah, those were the happy days…" she sighed.

"Don't panic, she doesn't do stuff like that anymore." Brawl reassured the smashers.

"Yes!" agreed Mrs Shaberunavi happily. "I eat prawn cocktail crisps instead!"

"That's not what I meant, mum…"

"Of course, darling…" simpered Mrs Shaberunavi. "Now! What would you lot like for lunch?" she asked the smashers. "It's ever so nice to meet you all by the way…"

"Oh! Me first! Me first!" cried Kirby, waving his stubby arms to get Mrs Shaberunavi's attention. "Is there any chance I have maxim tomatoes? PPPLLLEEEAAASSSEEE!!" he begged.

"Of course you can, you little scamp!" chuckled Mrs Shaberunavi, patting Kirby on the head so vigorously, it was a miracle he wasn't turned into a pancake, before writing the order down on a writing pad.

"Bananas!" said DK.

"Banana-rama for DK!" announced Mrs Shaberunavi.

"Melons, please!" said Yoshi.

"Melon mania for Yoshi!" explained Mrs Shaberunavi.

"Um… I'll have soup." Said Link.

"Gourmet soup, I take it? Come on, be honest!" asked Mrs Shaberunavi, tapping Links head lightly with her pen.

"Oh… only if you really want to…" said Link modestly.

"Of course I do, Link! I can't resist a challenge! Heck, I'm practically begging you to order something fancy!" exclaimed Mrs Shaberunavi. "Gourmet soup galore for Link!"

"Berries, please!" cheered Pikachu.

"Berry bonza for Pikachu!" exclaimed Mrs Shaberunavi.

"Boy, if the cooking's as bad as the alliteration, I'm not eating." Joked Melee.

"Ha, ha, ha! That's my Melee! Always the little joker! Oh, you little horror!" laughed Mrs Shabrunavi as she knuckle rubbed Melee's head, much to Melee's distress. "What would you like, Fox?"

"I'll have a hamburger, I guess." Shrugged Fox.

"Hamburger heaven for Fox!" exclaimed Mrs Shaberunavi.

"I'll have a panini. But not-a one-a of those microwaveable ones- those are horrible-a!" said Mario.

"I wouldn't dream of ever using a microwave, Mario! I can assure you that!" replied Mrs Shaberunavi, doing a mock faint. "A panini party for Mario! And you, Mrs Samus?"

"Oh… um… well…"

To be honest, Samus had lived around space stations and the like for so long, she had almost forgotten that food could come in other forms than pills. It was no surprise then that she could not think of a favourite food.

"Oops! I almost forgot! Silly me! You're one of those space travellers who don't get real food, aren't you? I'm so sorry! Don't worry; mama will cook something up good for you! You don't have to say a thing! Mama will fix it!" apologised Mrs Shaberunavi.

"Okay…" replied Samus weakly, somewhat nervous about Mrs Shaberunavi's overly happy personality.

"Right! That's the ordering done! Now for mama to work her magic! I'll be back with food fit for royalty! Trust mama! She'll do good! And that's a promise! You have mama's word on it!" said Mrs Shaberunavi excitedly, as she went back into the kitchen, bowing to the smashers repeatedly as she went.

"Well, she's certainly keen." Said Samus.

"Yep." Agreed Brawl. "And she's certainly a good cook as well. Trust me, she's never done a bad meal in her whole life…"

* * *

"FOOD'S UP! ENOY YOUR MEAL! TUCK IN! BON APPETITE!"

Brawl was true to his word- the food was excellent. The hamburger came with just the right amount of relish, the panini had the perfect blend of cheese and leaves, and the stir-fry Mrs Shaberunavi decided to cook for Samus had tons of flavour.

"Well? How's the food?" inquired Mrs Shaberunavi.

"Great!"

"Superb!"

"Excellent!"

"Delicious!"

"Can't talk… (Chomp) too busy eating (chew) tomatoes… yum…"

"This… this is-a the greatest panini I've ever-a tasted! The texture, the flavour… I take my hat off to you, Mrs Shib… Sheb… Shabera… Miss Mama!" complimented Mario.

"Oh, no, no, no! You honour me too much!" said Mrs Shaberunavi, blushing madly.

"I told you so, guys." Said Brawl, chomping on a cheese toastie. "Mum always pulls out something good out of her kitchen. She can even make sprouts taste nice."

"Aw! Thank you so much for that, darling! That's my sonny! Always putting sunshine into my life! You know why I call him sonny? Because he's my son and my sunshine! Geddit!?" laughed Mrs Shaberunavi, once again embracing her son in a bear-hug.

Brawl whined as he foresaw what would happen next. Here comes the usual fuss and love routine…

"Isn't he such a handsome young man?" Mrs Shabeunavi told the smashers. "Oh, I bet he'll have millions of girls chasing after him soon!"

"Mum, I already have a girlfriend. I don't want or need millions of girls chasing after me." Mumbled Brawl, pointing at Parasol, who was eating bagels.

"Well… you could have another one."

"MUM! That's shameful of you to say that! How can you encourage your own son to cheat on his girlfriend?!"

"Well… you're a intelligent young man. You can probably find some way to make it work…"

"MUUUUUUM!!"

"Alright! I joke! I joke! Mama's only kidding ya! He he he!"

"Holy Miyamoto, get me out of here…" groaned Brawl quietly.

"So, how's my sonny been with you?" Mrs Shaberunavi asked the smashers eagerly. "Has he been nice? Has he behaved? Has he been helpful to you?"

"Well, he certainly been helpful to me…" Link began.

"Ah!" said Mrs Shaberunavi, putting her hands together in delight and her face lighting up like the Vegas strip. And so the smashers started telling Brawl's mother of her son's exploits.

"He really puts his soul into fighting, I can see that."

"His sword is AWESOME!"

"He uses his gun well."

"He's one smart kid, that's for sure."

"And then BLAM! He blocks the punch at the last minute and jumps on it…"

"And he was like "eat papercuts, motherfucker!" and the primid was like "oh noes, I is pwned!""

"No, no, no! He said, "I am the master of the papercuts, motherfucker!""

"Oh, yeah! That was it."

"He's a nice person."

"Yeah, he's a good guy, I guess."

"Yeah, basically, he's really helped us out." Finished Link.

"Oh, good! Good! I'm so happy my sonny could help you out!" agreed Mrs Shaberunavi, looking extremely pleased by her son's efforts.

"Yeah, just make sure he doesn't forget his weapons next time!" joked Kirby.

"…What?" said Mrs Shaberunavi quietly, her face falling like a burst light bulb.

"Oh yeah, Brawl forgot his weapons the first time we encountered the primid. He had to hide a little… and when the primids found him, we had to rescue him a little bit… you were told about this… right?" explained Pikachu.

Brawl stopped eating his cheese toastie and looked nervously at his mum.

WHANG!

"WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS?!" roared Mrs Shaberunavi, repeatedly clobbering her son with a wok.

Brawl attempted to respond, but it's hard to talk when being beaten with kitchen apparel. The only thing that could come out of his mouth was "AAARRRGGGHHH!!"

"I CAN'T BELIVE YOU DID THAT! YOU WANT MAMA TO WORRY TO DEATH? HOW COULD YOU FORGET YOUR WEAPONS? DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH? DO YOU WANT YOUR POOR MAMA TO CRY AT YOUR FUNERAL? HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL YOUR OWN MAMA ABOUT THIS?! DO YOU WANT TO SEE MAMA TO CRY?!" continued Mrs Shaberunavi angrily and loudly.

"OW! OW! OW! STOP HITTING ME AND I'LL TELL YOU! OW!" shouted Brawl.

"OH NO YOU DON'T! YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY WITH THIS THAT EASILY!" yelled Mrs Shaberunavi, who continued to hit Brawl with her wok. " YOU TELL MAMA WHY YOU DIDN'T TELL ABOUT THIS NOW, OR YOU'LL BE SORRY!"

"Ack! OKAY, OKAY! I DIDN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE – OW! – I THOUGHT MELEE OR DAD KNEW ABOUT IT, AND I THOUGHT THEY WOULD TELL YOU! OW!" Brawl yelled.

Mrs Shaberunavi promptly turned on Melee and Smash.

WHANG! WHANG!

"OH REALLY? PERHAPS YOU TWO WOULD EXPLAIN WHY MAMA WASN'T TOLD ABOUT THIS LITTLE INCIDENT BEFORE I DO YOU TWO IN! YOU HEAR ME?!" she shouted.

"Dear, I think you're over reacting- OW!" yelled Smash, as he suffered the wrath of his wife.

"OWCH! MUM, I CAN EXPLAIN! OW! You see, everyone- OW! - Else had pretty much heard about it, so- ARRGGHH!! - We thought they would- OW! - Tell you! YOW!" explained Melee hastily.

"WHAT?!" Mrs Shaberunavi turned to the other smash bros. "OH, YOU ALL KNEW ABOUT IT, DID YOU? AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL MAMA, HUH? WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU LOT?! ARE YOU ALL SCARED OF ME OR SOMETHING?!" she ranted.

"YES!" yelled all the male smash bros in the room.

"GOOD! YOU ALL KNOW YOUR PLACE, THEN!" yelled Mrs Shaberunavi. She turned back to her son with a sad puppy dog face on. "(Sniff) mama only wants to make sure you're safe, darling! Why did you have to scare me like that by going out without any weapons? (Sniff) and then you don't tell me? Why can't I know about these things?" she sniffled.

"Mum… calm down. I wasn't hurt. I didn't even get a scratch. If I was hurt, I wouldn't be here- I'd be in the hospital with a sling on my arm and egg on my face." Brawl pointed out.

"But you could have told mama at least! (Sniff) don't you trust your mama any more?" said Mrs Shaberunavi tearfully.

"Well… I didn't tell you cause I didn't want you to get worked up about it, like you are right now." Explained Brawl; through some people claim he had his fingers crossed behind his back as he said this.

"Not to mention you'd wallop him with the wok like you were doing just now." Said Melee.

WHANG!

"OW!"

"DON'T MOCK MAMA!"

Brawl groaned. "Mum, just calm down. I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me right now. Why don't you have a packet of crisps to calm your nerves down? You just need to relax…" Brawl said comfortingly.

"Well… I suppose you're right. I am over doing it a little." Mrs Shaberunavi got up and gave her son a kiss on the head. " I love you, you know."

"I know, mum." Brawl replied, smirking a little.

"I'm sorry for all the fuss I've caused," Mrs Shaberunavi said to noone in particular as she retreated back into the kitchen. "I was just worried about my darling. (Sniff) oh goodness me, I haven't been this distraught since I caught him looking at porn…"

"Well, I'm you can recover from it, mum…. WAIT! Did she just say-" panicked Brawl.

"YOU LOOK AT PORN?!" exclaimed the smashers.

Brawl turned **EXTREMELY **red. "Err, um, NO! Of course I don't!" he spluttered.

"Yes you do! We saw the history!" argued Melee.

"Oh for the love of- FOR THE LAST FREAKING TIME, MELEE, THAT WAS SOMEONE ELSE!"

"But it was on your laptop!"

"Then… someone used my laptop!"

"But you have to know the password on log on to your laptop!"

"Then somebody knows my password!"

"But you keep your laptop in a safe!"

"Well… um, that someone knows my safe code as well!"

"Well in that case, why do you get a erection every time you use your laptop?"

"Wha- OH, THAT DOES IT!" roared Brawl. "I REFUSE TO BE HUMILATED ANYMORE! I'M GOING TO MY ROOM TO-"

"Blame the government?" asked Melee.

"No!"

"Rick roll myspace?"

"No!"

"Flame that retarded fanfic site some more?"

"No!"

"Hurl abuse at Heather Wolfon?"

"No!"

"Masturbate some more?"

"**NO!**"

"Sulk?"

"…"

"Admit it, you're going to your room to sulk like a spoilt child. Am I right?"

"(Sigh) yes…" Brawl groaned.

"Wait! You said you were going to tell us where you food from around here!" Kirby cried.

"Oh yeah! I forgot all about that plothole- I mean question! Question! That's what I meant! OW!" yelled Brawl, as once again the author threw a brick at him for forth wall breakage.

_Oh, way to go! Now you can't even remember stuff without breaking the fourth wall!_ Yelled the author. _You better fill this plothole pretty nicely, or you'll really get it next chapter!_

"All right, all right… let's go into the kitchen, shall we?" said Brawl, as he led the smashers into the kitchen.

* * *

normally, i would put a note explaining every single thing in the whole chapter, but se

eing this is only half a chapter, i'll let you ask the questions first instead. as for me, i will return to writing the second half. REMEMBER, THIS IS ONLY HALF A CHAPTER! DO NOT REVEIW GOING "WTF NO WEGEE STFU!" LUIGI WILL FINALLY APPEAR IN THE SECOND HALF!

well... see ya. i have to write before umbrellon mastah murders me.


	6. Chapter 5 part two

YESSS!! FINALLY!! IT'S DONE! WOOT!! HALLEUHAH! see, I can write without taking forever!

thank god we're out of the smash mansion. boy, we won't have much action back their for a while! writing the OC's convincingly is so hard... but it's over! I can get back to writing about nintendo characters! yays! and if the smash mansion bored you, it kinda bored me a little to be honest. but I wanted to give Brawl a background, rather than having him a "flat" character that comes out of nowhere, but parades around like everone knows him, where as the readers go: "HUH? I don't get this guy! why's he doing this or that? WTF, man?" I think you'll agree that it clears things up a bit.

okay, go ahead and read. you deserve it!

* * *

The kitchen was a breath of fresh air from the normal aesthetic theme of the mansion, as for once it looked like a perfectly normal kitchen, the kind of kitchen you'd see being advertised at homebase"for only £9999999999999.99!" Stainless steel was everywhere, and it gleamed with the kind of gleam that said "this is- let's not beat around the bush here- a very fucking expensive kitchen. You mess me up and you'll be paying off loans for weeks."

Mrs Shaberunavi was leaning back on one of the counters, eating a packet of prawn cocktail crisps, as Brawl and the smashers entered the kitchen. "Hey! What ya come in here for? Is little ol Kirby still hungry?" she joked.

"Nah, I'm not hungry. But that doesn't mean I can't have some more tomatoes, right?" Kirby said suggestively, widen his eyes from normal size to bambi size.

"Nope." Replied Brawl, ignoring Kirby's attempts to get more tomatoes. "I'm just showing them where we get our food from."

"Oh! You mean the demanded material materializer?" Mrs Shaberunavi pointed to an odd machine at the end of the kitchen.

The DMM was the only strange thing in the kitchen, but at least its design was simple. Basically it was a keyboard similar to the ones found on 80's supercomputers, with a large chute descending from the ceiling.

"The hell?" mumbled Fox, examining the machine with his scouter.

"What's the matter, Fox?" asked DK.

"According to the readings from this thing… it's able to make objects out of… nothing!" exclaimed Fox.

"Of course it does! It's a demanded material materailizer! It materializes materials on demand!" said Brawl enthusiastically, thumping the DMM with his elbow.

"But… that's impossible! It would need a absolutely huge power source to be able to work!" Samus pointed out.

"And it does! Hasn't your scanners picked up anything from downstairs?" questioned Brawl.

Fox pointed his scanner to the floor below. "Holy cow! Even from a floor above, I can detect an enormous power source down below! Enough to create matter on it's very own!"

"What! What in Zebe's name have you got down there?!" cried a surprised Samus.

"Why don't we find out?" suggested Brawl as he gestured for the smashers to follow him downstairs. "To the basement!"

* * *

"One, two, three, four!"

_I'm just testing,_

_Testing one two three,_

_Testing one two three,_

_Can you hear me at the back?_

_I'm just testing,_

_Testing one two three,_

_Testing one two three,_

_Can you hear me over there…_

"Yep, everything's set for the green light." Said Saki, putting down his guitar. "Man, I'm psyched for the band to play tonight."

"Yeah, I can't wait either." Agreed Mac, who was on the drums. " Our first performance in front of the smashers is gonna be sweet!"

"Could we hurry this practice session up? In case you've forgotten, my bro's trying to save the world, and I'm supposed to be helping him!" asked Melee, who was on the keyboard.

"Okay, okay. I can't help it if the bandleader's busy. What's he doing right now, anyway?" asked Saki.

"Apparently he's trying to show the smasher's where our food come from. He's gone into the kitchen to show them the DMM." Melee explained. " Of course that's not going to take him long, and he'll probably come in here any minute telling to get back to the portal room. Now do you get why I'm trying to do this quickly?"

Footsteps could be heard outside approaching the room. Mac tilted his head slightly to see who was coming and announced: "well, by the looks of things, he's already here."

"Oh, bloody hell! I haven't even played a single note yet!"

* * *

"Behold!" exclaimed Brawl over-dramatically, bursting into the basement like a Broadway actor. "The holy smash core!"

"Whoa…"

"That's… big…"

The holy smash core could simply be described as a giant smash ball; with safety barriers and random floating stuff surrounding it. Needless to say, it was an awe-inspiring sight, as it light up the room like an over-sized disco ball.

Other than that, however, the rather large room was mostly empty. In front of the holy smash core was a stage on which Saki, Mac and Melee were trying to have band practice on, and numerous seats, presumably for watching whoever performed on the stage. To the left was one of those paper sliding doors that were used often in Japan. It was closed, but a shadow of a man mediating could be seen. To the left was some kind of TV screen, but for some reason all it showed was a sleeping smiley face.

"The technology keeping that… thing stable… my scanners can't even tell me how it works! It's saying the smash core should have ripped apart space and time by now! How the hell did you people manage to find a way to keep that thing stable?" exclaimed Samus, clearly confounded by this unfamontable power source.

"I think you're forgetting that this place wasn't created by us." Said Brawl casually. "This house and all it's technology, was created by the creator of existence himself… Mr Miyamoto…" his voice trailed off in wonderment.

"We're in god's house, so to speak…" mumbled Melee quietly.

"Hold up. I'm sorry, but I find it hard to believe that god himself made this house himself. That's like Buddha making my breakfast." Grumped Fox.

"And yet you find the theory that a pair of giant hands are commanding a army of purple puppets to consume all existence to be completely logical?" Brawl tapped the side of his head. "Something tells me there's a gap in your logic, Fox."

"Well, at least I've seen evidence that the hands exist." Retorted Fox.

"You want proof?" asked Brawl. He walked over to the safety barriers surrounding the holy smash core and peered over them, waving for the smashers to do the same. "Look down there." He told them.

The smashers looked down and saw a shaft, it's walls adorned with computers and other technology. But strangely enough, right at the bottom of the shaft, a black coffin could be seen, complete with that increasingly familiar circle with two lines forming a cross in the bottom left corner.

"That, Fox, is the grave of Miyamoto. Died millions of years ago of old age." Brawl stroked his chin in thought. "Just think… even with the knowledge of a god, Death is inescapable…"

"But that could be anybody." Fox murmured.

"Maybe we could open it up and find out who's in there!" cried Pikachu, who started attempting to climb over the barrier.

"Oh no you don't." said Brawl flatly, grabbing Pikachubefore he could do anything stupid. "It's bad enough just disturbing a normal person's grave, let alone our god's grave. That's just plainwrong, not to mention incredibly offensive to our religion. Heck, if you weren't a smasher, we'd be getting ready to bonfire you!"

"Sounds like a excuse to cover up a false religion to me. I'm sorry, I don't believe in religion, and I still don't believe in this Miyamoto guy!" grumbled Fox.

"Well, in that case Fox, answer this one- how does a mortal man make a house with a power source powerful to create matter all on it's own- in a complete void?" asked Brawl, with a smug smile on his face.

Fox scratched his head for a little while. "Huh. I have to admit, you've got me there…"

"Good-o. Let's not have any more arguments like this. They're far too awkward for my liking." Smiled Brawl, leaning back on the safety barrier.

"So how does the holy smash core make so much power?" asked Samus.

"Oh, that's easy." Replied Brawl. "It uses its soul."

"Soul?"

"oh yeeaahh! Soouuulll! The smash core's got sooouuulll! Yeaaahhh! Gotta have sooooul! Oh yeah!" cried Melee, playing his keyboard madly like a church organ.

"…Thank you Melee." Groaned Brawl. " Anyway, a big ball of power is pretty good on it's own, but for demanded material materializing, it's pretty useless. You see, when you tell a normal power source to DMM an apple or something, you got to tell a computer you want an apple. But computers have no idea what a apple is, cause they only understand ones and zeroes, so you have to programme in a VERY complex series of ones and zeroes just to make sure you don't end up with something useless, like a Atari 5200 controller. And that's just for an apple. Imagine typing in the ones and zeroes for every thing you could possibly want/need in your whole life! It would take millions of years, and the memory required would be ridiculous! It would never work in a million years!"

"So how does "soul" get round that?" asked DK.

"Soouulll! Yeeaaahhh! Gotta have- hey, who pulled the plug?" moaned Melee, not noticing Brawl hiding it behind his back.

"Well, because our smash core's got soul, it has emotions, personality, and most importantly, a human-like intelligence. Therefore, it can understand the word "apple", and can produce said apple without hundreds of ones and zeroes, hundreds of megabytes of memory, and best of all, hundreds of hours of time wasting programming!" Brawl finished.

"The smash core has emotions? So it's like that computer in space odyssey?" asked Kirby.

"Yeah." Nodded Brawl. "Except it's doesn't try to kill everyone around-"

Brawl was interrupted by the lights suddenly going out and the room falling into complete darkness.

"Hey!"

"Mamma mia!"

"What the hell?"

"There's never a torch when you need one!"

"AAAHHH! I'm scared!"

"Oh, great! I'll never find who stole the plug now!"

The many mumblings and yells of the smashers and co. were silenced by a light turning on behind them noisily. Jumping with a start, they turned around to see a thing throwing its head back in evil laughter.

"AAAHHH!!"

"Oh, very funny, G.I.M.P! Put the lights back on, you joker!" shouted Brawl.

On closer inspection, the thing was simply the TV screen from earlier, which had moved from the wall it was resting on to over to the smashers, and the smiley face started rolling on a virtual floor in hysterics. The lights came back on.

"(Moan) people, this is G.I.M.P, the monitor of the holy smash core's emotions and feelings." Brawl pointed an accusing finger at G.I.M.P. "you're being a little devil today, G.I.M.P!"

G.I.M.P finally stopped laughing, got up from his virtual floor, and waved a silent "hello" to the smashers.

"Well, he's certainly got a lot of personality." Remarked Link.

"Yeah. He's kind of cute, too." Said Samus, tapping G.I.M.P's screen gently. G.I.M.P blushed at this compliment from Samus.

Fox scratched his head. "Wait. Why do you need to know what mood the smash core's in?"

"Well, there's a second problem when you live with DMMs." Explained Brawl. "Greed."

"Greed?"

"Yep. Let's suppose for one second that we've miracously got a normal computer to work as a DMM controller just as well as the holy smash core. Which means we can anything we like. Gold, chocolate, whatever, and as much as we like as well. That little computer ain't gonna refuse your orders, cause it's made to obey then. That might be good news for some, but sooner or later, human nature will kick in, and Mr greed will come in and corrupt our minds. Then next thing we know, we're either fighting over gold, or dieing of over-eating. And that's no good when we're supposed to be getting ready to fight against the primids and such."

"Hey! What's this got to do with G.I.M.P?" asked Yoshi.

"Well, you see, with the holy smash core, it doesn't like being treated like a never ending provider. It gets grumpy when you assume it's just a load of circuitry. Which means if we don't watch it and be reasonable with what we eat/drink/wear/want, it won't give us anything till we earn it back."

"Ah! So you need G.I.M.P to make sure you don't piss the holy smash core off!" realised Link.

"Correct! Our little buddy here is the smash core's diplomat, let's put it like that." Confirmed Brawl.

G.I.M.P nodded in silent agreement.

"Speaking of which, how is the holy smash core, G.I.M.P?" asked Brawl. G.I.M.P gave a thumps up and a big grin in response.

"Oh, good. It's happy. We won't have a toilet paper shortage for a while then, like in the plum pudding crisis of Christmas 1999." Brawl said contently.

"Hang on. How the heck are you supposed to cheer up a computer up?" asked Fox, scratching his head. "It's not like you can give it a hug or something like that."

"How do you cheer up the holy smash core?" repeated Brawl. "Simple! Music!"

"Music? How does that work?" questioned Kirby.

"Well, they say music is the food of the soul, and the holy smash core got a lot of soul…" said Brawl artistically "and besides, what else were you expecting? Daily cattle sacrifices? Get real!"

"So that's why-a you've drums-a and stuff here-a!" realised Mario.

"So… who plays the music, then?" pondered Kirby.

"Me, my bro, Saki and Mac." Said Brawl, picking up a second guitar. "And together we are…"

"All together now!" yelled Melee.

"INTENSE DIFFICULTY!" shouted the band.

"We'll play anything, anyway you like. From orchestra to techno, from rock to country, we will play it all!" boasted Brawl. "Except the carmelldansen, of course. We have taste, after all!"

"Whoa, orchestra? I don't think four people makes a orchestra!" laughed Samus.

"Oh, no, the holy smash core supplies the orchestra parts!" explained Saki.

"And I conduct it!" announced Brawl, holding up a conducting stick.

"Wait- you not seriously saying you conduct and play guitar at the same time?" asked Fox.

"He can. He's ambidextrous." Explained Mac.

"Well, seeing as you were about to have band practice, how about we play a song for the smashers?" suggested Brawl.

"Okay!" said Saki.

"Ready!" said Mac.

"I'm just putting the plug back in… there we go! I'm ready!" said Melee.

"All right! We'll do the song of life!" decided Brawl. "Ready?"

"One, two, three, four!"

(Based on battlefield version 2.)

The song started with Mac and Melee laying down a natural sounding backbeat, Saki strumming his guitar quickly, and Brawl conducting the holy smash core to make a flute like sound. When the flute section finished, Brawl switched to his guitar and started playing it to the words he sang:

_I walk the road,_

_The winding road of life,_

_Life is but a road,_

_It is a road we must all walk,_

_The road is rough,_

_It exhausts us all,_

_But at every stop,_

_Is glory and happiness._

Brawl switched back to "conducting" the smash core, which made a trumpet like sound:

_I will fight for this road with all my might,_

_I will fight for the road day and night…_

_Brawl switched back to the guitar._

_Because the road is everyone's,_

_Everyone must walk it,_

_Nothing is more important then the road,_

_The road,_

_Oh, for the road of life…_

Suddenly, Brawl's guitar changed from acoustic to electric, much to the surprise of the smashers.

_If you wish to ruin the road,_

_And cut everyone's journey short,_

_Then I will do anything to stop you._

_(For the road.)_

_For life's road is the only road,_

_And if you wish to vandalize it,_

_Than I will march off, with my friends,_

_To catch you…_

_(And bring justice.)_

The song promptly ended with a loud CLAP! And Brawl and the band took a bow.

"How was that?" asked Brawl eagerly.

"That was great!" grinned Mario.

" It was awesome!" agreed Pikachu.

" I know when there's rhythm, and boy, did that have rhythm!" exclaimed DK.

" Yeah, it was good." Nodded Fox.

" It was another quality performance, Brawl."

Everyone turned to face a Japanese man with black hair in marital arts clothing.

"Master Sakuarai." Brawl bowed.

"Brawl-san." Replied Sakurai, bowing also. "It seems that the time to fight master hand is upon us."

"Indeed it is." Brawl nodded.

" And I could never been happier with the timing." Smiled Sakurai, putting a hand on Brawl's shoulder. He turned to the smashers. " So I finally meet the smashers in person. I will die a happy man after all, it seems."

Brawl put his arm around Sakurai. "People, this Sakurai, our fighting skills teacher. He's a good teacher, though in my opinion, his methods are a little…

"**YOU MUST RECOVER!**"

Much to the surprise of everybody, Sakurai knocked over Brawl with a sweep kick, sending him to the floor. Brawl, however, kicked Sakurai with both legs in the stomach from the floor, sending the dojo master onto the floor. Brawl quickly jumped up and onto Sakurai, slamming his elbow into his face. While Sakurai was stunned, Brawl quickly drew his sword and brought it within millimetres of Sakurai's throat.

"K.O." muttered Brawl.

Sakurai and Brawl got up and shook hands. The fight had just been one of Sakurai's training methods.

"Well done, Brawl!" smiled Sakurai. "The elbow! Good thinking! I certainly did not see that coming. You're as fresh as ever."

"Thank you, master." Replied Brawl politely. "Now what was it I was going to say? Oh, yes- as you can see, I think master Sakurai's methods are a little viscous."

"You can huff and puff all you want about my methods. But I stand by my philosophy- a fighter must be prepared for anything and everything," Sakuraistated, before hold up Brawl's right arm so the birthmark on his hand could be seen. " Especially the one marked with the symbol of unity!"

"The symbol of unity?" asked Link.

"Wait! I've seen that symbol before, on the smash ball… and on Brawl's hat and shield! Heck, it's everywhere!" realised Kirby. And he was right- all over the mansion; the walls, floors and doors were endowed with that circle and two lines that formed a cross in the bottom left corner.

"The symbol of unity is very important to our culture." Explained Melee.

Sakurai took a small book out of his pocket and read aloud: " book of development, chapter 8, verse 16. And Miyamoto did tell the super smash bros thus: "when the primid do invade the worlds and attack all life, one must guide the smashers through the many worlds. For a death can easily be caused by a misunderstanding or a lack of knowledge. They who guide them must be balanced in heart and soul, so nothing will ever cause them to lose their way.""

" And the super smash bros did reply thus: "how do we know who is the most balanced of us, when the time of fighting comes?""

" And Miyamotodid show them the symbolof unity, a symbol beautiful in it's own simplicity, and said: "when you have children, they shall havemarkings on their hand, each representativeof your child's heart and soul. And when one of the youngest generation has a circle with two lines, and only two lines, like the symbol of unity itself, then only they will have the wisdom to guide the smashers past unnecessary danger, only they will have the courage to stand by the smashers in times of life or death, and only they will have the heart and soul to sacrifice their life defending the smashers, when the time of fighting comes."

"So, in other words, the guy with the circle with two lines has to guide the smashers, as long there is no one else with the same symbol from a new generation?" asked Fox.

"That's the law." Confirmed Sakurai.

"So that's why-a Brawl is-a the one who-a guides us! Cause he's got da symbol on his hand!" said Mario.

"Yeah, that's me." Admitted Brawl casually.

" And you're in good hands with him." said Sakurai, slapping Brawl's back cheerfully. " I'vebeen training him all his life, and he certainly fits the bill. Though I do hope he doesn't forget his weapons again." He coughed.

"Oops. I guess you heard about that, huh?" Brawl scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Do not mourn over it, Brawl-san. We all make mistakes, and at least you were wise enough to avoid battle, rather rush in like a fool. Though I expect rushing was what caused you to lose track of your possessions." Sakurai intoned.

" I apologize, master Sakurai. I promise to make up for it in the future." Said Brawl, bowing again.

" And I have every confidence you will." Smiled Sakurai. " Between you and me, I've never been happier for you, Brawl." He said quietly. "Why, it reminds me of when you were born…"

"Uh oh. Here comes a clichéd flashback sequence." Mumbled Melee.

"It was back in the 80's, when everything was hip, having a Afro was fashionable, and Sony hadn't been invented yet. Ah, those were the good old days…"

* * *

_Oh noes! Flashback!_

"YEEEEAAARRRGGGHHH!!"

"Push! Push!"

"I AM FUCKING PUSHING! IT'S THE DAMM BABY WHO CAN'T BE ARSED TO COME OUT!!" yelled a younger Mrs Shaberunavi, who had flowers on her headscarf back then.

"Dear, please calm down! Screaming will get you nowhere!" panicked a younger Smash, who back then also had flowers on his helmet.

"HA! YOU TRY SAYING THAT WHEN YOUR LEGS FELL LIKE THEY HAVE A COOKER STUFFED UP THEM! ARRGGHHH!!" screamed Mrs Shaberunavi.

An Afro wearing Sakurai looked between Mrs Shaberunavi's legs. (First one to make naughty suggestions gets shot. Ed.) "He's right. The baby's nearly there. Keep pushing, Shaberunavi!" he commented, while slipping on some doctor's gloves.

"OF COURSE I'M SODDING PUSHING!! YOU THINK I'M SCREAMING JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT?!" roared Mrs Shaberunavi.

"Dear, it'll over soon! Just keep going!" Smash stuttered, trying and failing to calm his wife down.

Mrs Shaberunavi grabbed Smash by the front of his jacket. "NEXT YOU GET INTO BED WITH ME, YOU WILL WEAR A COMDOM! EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE "DOING IT"! YOU HEAR ME?!" she shouted.

"Yes dear! Of course dear! Please don't kill me dear!"

"It's coming out. Let's try to do this in three pushes. Think you can do that, Shaberunavi?" asked Sakurai.

"I'LL DO ANYTHING! JUST TELL IT TO HURRY UP DOWN THERE!" shouted Mrs Shaberunavi desperately.

"Okay. On the count of three… ONE!"

"HUURRGGHHH!!"

"TWO!"

"IF THAT DAMM BABY DOESN'T COME OUT, I WILL SLAP IT ONE!"

"**THREE!**"

PLOP! (Sorry, this was the best sound effect I could think of. Don't laugh!)

"Oh, thank god!" gasped Mrs Shaberunavi. "It's over! It's out! I don't have to satisfy my craving for orange juice anymore!"

"Congratulations, Shaberunavi! It's a baby boy!" announced Sakurai, holding up said baby.

"A boy? Oh, it's a beautiful baby boy! I would have preferred a girl, but still, isn't this great, darling?" Mrs Shaberunavi asked Smash.

"I'll say! He looks darn healthy to me!" Smash wiped the sweat off his forehead before mumbling: "plus, the last thing I needed was another female yelling at me…"

"What was that?"

"Nothing, dear!"

"Good." Mrs Shaberunavi patted the head of her new baby. "What do you think we should call him? If I had a girl, I would have named her after a dessert… but I can't name boys. What do you think?" she asked Smash.

Smash looked at the baby, who appeared to be trying to escape from his mother's arms and explore the outside world. "He's a bit of a wriggler, isn't he? Out of the womb and already he wants to wander off. Is he a four-liner?" he asked. Four-liners were smash brothers with four lines in their circular birthmark, and tended to be hyperactive jokers.

"He is. I checked his hand. Hee hee! Stop tickling mama, you crazy baby!" Mrs Shaberunavi giggled, as the baby started poking Mrs Shaberunavi's armpits.

Smash stroked his chin as he thought. After a while, he announced: "I think I will call him… Melee. A fighter's name, like mine."

"Melee? That's a good name! What do you think, Melee? Do you like it? Do ya? Do ya?" cooed Mrs Shaberunavi as she bounced baby Melee up and down, causing him to giggle cutely. "Hee hee! He likes it! He likes it! What do you think of the name, Sakurai?" she called to Sakurai, who was still looking between Mrs Shaberunavi's legs for some reason.

"I think we have a problem." He announced as he put his gloves back on.

"What's the problem? The baby's out, it's all over! What could possibly go wrong now?" inquired Mrs Shaberunavi innocently.

"You have a second baby on the way. You have twins." Stated Sakurai simply.

"YOU FUCKING WHAT?!"

"Oh, Miyamoto! Not more shouting!" winced Smash.

" This is crazy! I have to do more pushing?! Not on my nelly! The baby might as well stay there if it wants to cause trouble!" complained Mrs Shaberunavi loudly.

" Luckily, the second baby is close to coming out. It must have jammed with Melee and ended up being forced behind him, which is why it took so long to get Melee out. Hopefully we can get the other one out in three pushes as well." Continued Sakurai.

"It better, or I'll give it the spanking of a lifetime!" shouted Mrs Shaberunavi.

"Okay then, here goes nothing." Nodded Sakurai. "ONE!"

"HURRGGHH!!"

"TWO!"

"GET OUT OF THERE, BABY, BEFORE I HAVE TO LUBRICATE YA!"

"**THREE!**"

PLOP!

"WAHHH!!"

"It's another boy!" announced Sakurai, holding up the crying baby.

Mrs Shaberunavi's heart melted when she saw the baby with tears in his eyes. "Oh no! It's crying! Oh, come here!" Mrs Shaberunavi grabbed the baby and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry! Don't cry cause your silly mama shouted at ya! Please stop brawling! Mama's sorry!" she blabbered as she tried to stop the crying.

Brawling? Brawl… that might be a good name…Smash thought.

Eventually the second baby stopped crying. "That's better! See? Happy family, happy family! Good babies!" cooed Mrs Shaberunavi. " So, what should we call this one then, darling?"

"I've got an idea, but I think we better check the birthmark first. Can you check his, dear? I'm just going to use the coffee machine." Smash said, as he went to restock his caffeine levels.

Sakurai put all the medical equipment away as Mrs Shaberunavi tickled the unnamed baby's chin. "Okay, baby! Let's see what you're gonna be like…" she lifted the baby's right arm to look at the birthmark on it's palm. "Let's see… you are a…"

Mrs Shaberunavi's jaw dropped.

"He's a what, dear?" asked Smash, returning with a cup of coffee.

Mrs Shaberunavi slowly turned to show Smash the birthmark of their second son.

A circle with two lines forming a cross in the bottom left corner.

Smash dropped his coffee cup. "Holy Miyamoto- that's- he's- he has the symbol of unity…" he stuttered.

"What!" exclaimed Sakurai.

He dashed over to the baby and stared at his birthmark. The unnamed baby started giggling as the three adults boggled at him in suprise.

There was a long silence.

"Well… it appears I have a predecessor after all." Said Sakurai quietly after a while, looking at his own birthmark. Like the baby's, it was a circle with two lines forming a cross in the bottom left corner.

"YEEESSS!!" cried a jubilant Mrs Saberunavi. "My son's going to save existence! Oh, well done baby! Ten minutes out and I'm already proud of you!" she hugged the baby tightly.

"Congrats again." Smiled Sakurai. "Do you have any idea what you'll call him?"

"Oh, I know what we're calling him." grinned Smash, grabbing the baby and holding above his head. "He will grow up to be a fine boy, and his name will be…"

"**BRAWL!**"

* * *

"**BRAWL!**"

"Huh? What? Where the fire, where's the fire?" muttered Brawl, as he was awaked from his doze.

"You fell asleep while master Sakurai was blabbing, bro! Wake up before he notices!" chided Melee.

"…And that's how Brawl was born!" finished Sakurai.

"Hold on… if Brawl's the one with the symbol of unity, why does Wavedash go around claiming he should be the one to guide us?" asked Kirby.

"Ah! Well… the problem was, Wavedashwas also born with the symbol of unity." Explained Sakurai. "And boy, was there a big argument over who should lead! We argued for days. Eventually, we decided that seeing that the youngest generation has priority over older ones, we decided the younger one would lead. Which of course, was Brawl!"

"Sadly, as you can see, Wavedash got rather bitter over the decision, and has never got over it since." Melee sighed. "Which is a shame… he used to be such a nice guy…"

"Well, if he's going to have a attitude like that, he's going to piss someone off eventually. And that's something we want to avoid, right?" grumbled Brawl.

"(Sigh) I suppose you've got a point." Agreed Melee.

Brawl looked at his watch. "Yeesh! We've been messing round for way too long! It's time to get back to work. C'mon, Melee! See ya, Saki and Mac! Good day, master Sakurai!" said Brawl, as he left with the smashers in tow.

"See ya, Brawl!" said Saki.

"Knock them out, buddy!" Encouraged Mac.

"May the spirit of unity be with you!" saluted Sakurai.

* * *

Laundry done? Check.

Washing up done? Check.

Cleaning done? Double check.

Boredom levels at an all time high? Triple check.

"It's going to be a loooonnnngggg day…" sighed Luigi, as he slouched on the sofa.

It was a perfectly normal day for Luigi. He had gone to the grocers as usual, he had come home expecting Mario to be cooking dinner as usual, and he had found out that Mario had gone off to save someone or other without him as usual. The only thing made it different from last time was that he had no idea what exactly he was doing.

Usually, Peach would have been captured, but she was safe and sound back in the castle. He had called Daisy, and she was fine also. Pauline couldn't have been nabbed, or it would be all over the news- the fame of the international model was not to be sneezed at.

So what was he doing, if not saving a pretty girl from the grasp of a giant turtle/ape?

Usually Luigi wouldn't worry about his brother, but the lack of knowledge he had about his latest adventure was disturbing. Even more disturbing was the fact he had called Yoshi to see if he knew anything on the matter, and discovered that Yoshi had joined Mario, along with a bunch of strangers, on his adventure. Not just out of kindness or for fun- it was said Mario actually needed him. Needed. Mario needing help? Something bad was going down.

He then had a phone call from Diddy Kong, who claimed that according to the local ukiukis, Mario had taken DKon his quest, and could he contact Mario please, so he could explain what exactly they were going off to?

No. He couldn't. He tried to call him on his mobile, and got a voice promptly telling him Mario's mobile had ceased to exist. He had called everyone else who might have gone along with him- Goombella, Koops, even Mallow, for crying out loud, and got nought.

And then came the rumour. According to the rumour, Mario's latest quest was to save all existence from being turned into a trophy. What? All existence? He had called Merlin, and Mario hadn't gone anywhere near Flipside. So how on earth was he supposed to save all existence with Flipsides support? And who was planning to turn everything into a trophy? Bowser? Nah, that was too fancy for his style. The X-naught? Smithy? Dimento? Hell, it could even be Tatanga, but nobody really knew any thing. This frustrated Luigi.

But what completely pissed Luigi off was that Mario had needed help. And when Mario needed help, he always went to him first.

But no. Now Yoshi and DK, an ape that Mario knew hardly anything about other than in tennis matches and ex-kidnapping, were more "helpful" than his own brother. His brother, who had been with him from the beginning, stayed with him when he came with the then ludicrous idea that the two of them go and save princess Peach all by themselves, and aided him in many a battle against assorted villainy. Okay, he himself hadn't been with Mario all the time, but even so…

"Damm it, Mario! Why you haveto keep going off on adventures without me? At least let me know where you are, so I can help you out if you run into anything…" grumbled Luigi to thin air.

"Hey, Luigi! Talking to yourself is the first sign-a of madness, you know!" commented Mario.

"Yeah, well, rushing off into danger without taking your brother with you is the second, bro!" replied Luigi without thinking.

Wait a sec… something wasn't quite right here…

"Mario?" gasped Luigi, as he realised who was behind him.

"Luigi!" smiled Mario, holding his arms out wide for a brotherly hug.

Unfortunately, the reply he got was less than brotherly.

"YOU BASTARD!"

"Huh?"

Luigi grabbed Mario by the collar and shook him. "Why the hell didn't you say where you were going?!" he roared. "I tried calling you, you didn't answer, I've been trying to find where you were, I called everyone I know, I nearly bent over backwards trying to find you-"

"Hey, get off-a me-a!" said Mario angrily, breaking out of Luigi's grasp. "Look, I'm sorry I got you worried over me, Luigi! But I didn't know where was going when I set off…"

"Rubbish! Nobody goes off on an adventure without knowing where to go! What, did you just decide to wander randomly in circles in hope you'd find whoever you're after faster then if you went through worlds 1-1 to 8-4? You must be out of ya mind! And another thing-" Luigi cut himself off, as he noticed Yoshi, DK, and six strangers standing next to the stairs, looking at the squabbling brothers curiously.

"Oh! Hi Yoshi! Hi DK! Hi, err, people I don't know!" said Luigi awkwardly. "Um, sit down! Make yourselves at home! Never mind us- we're always arguing over this and that, right bro?" he elbowed Mario in desperation.

"yeah, we're tend to argue a lot around-a here." Nodded Mario.

"oh, don't mind us, we're just watching." said Brawl casually.

Luigi ignored this comment and resumed arguing with Mario. "Do you know how much time I spent trying to find out where you were? I thought you got yourself kiddnapped!"

"Luigi, what's gotten into you? I go off without lots of times- I'm not proud of it, but it's true- and you've never reacted this badly!" asked Mario, confused.

"well, usually, you don't need help!" Luigi fumed. " and did you come to me for help? no! you went to Yoshi and DK and six random guys off the street- no offense, guys,- and all this while, I'm at home, wondering whether you've been kidnapped!"

"so you're feeling left out? is this what this is about, Luigi?" asked Mario. "Look, i didn't go to these guys because i needed help, i went to them because..." Mario tried to think of something to say, but he could not think of something that would confuse Luigi. not that it mattered, because Luigi interrupted him.

"oh, that's a load of bull! one of the yoshi'stold me you needed Yoshi! stop trying to lie to me!" shouted Luigi.

"I'm not! Luigi, listen to me!"

"Mario, if you want to ditch me, just say so!"

"I'm not trying to ditch you, Luigi!"

"Rubbish! I know when I'm being played for a fool! You're just jealous 'cause I can jump higher than you!"

"Luigi can jump _higher _than Mario?!" whispered Link to Kirby, wide eyed. Kirby shrugged in response.

"Luigi, I'm not jealous, and i'm not trying replace you with Yoshi or DK! please, just calm down!" Mario begged.

"Then why are they going with them, and not me?!" snapped Luigi.

"BECAUSE THEY'RE SMASHERS!"

There was a breif silence where Luigi stared at Mario like he was mad, until he finailly piped up with: "um... Mario? have you been eating the wrong kind of mushrooms?"

"Perhaps it's time I explained what's going on." said Brawl, approaching Luigi. "Luigi, have you ever heard of the legend of the hands?"

"No..."

"then let me tell you a story..."

_some time later..._

"So you're looking for the people who can defeat Master hand..."

"Yep."

"And Mario, Yoshi,and DK are three of these people?"

"Double yep."

"oh! I get it now!" Luigi exclaimed. "Mario didn't go to them because he needed help- he went to them because they were necessary to beat Master hand!"

"Well, technically it wasn't him who went to Yoshi and DK- I was kinda leading him around." admitted Brawl.

"That makes sense. Mario usually gets told where to go when he's looking for things." agreed Luigi, before turning back to his brother. "I'm sorry, bro, for shouting at you... I just felt that you were trying to avoid me..." Luigi sighed.

"Luigi, I understand. Just don't shout so loud-a next time you argue with your brother, kay?" smiled Mario.

"Sure!" chuckled Luigi.

"Brotherly hug?" Mario asked, holding his arms out again.

"Brotherly hug." agreed Luigi, putting his arms round his brother. (again, first one to say "OMG YAOI LOLZ!" gets shot. Ed.)

"anyway, who are you guys?" asked Luigi, after they had fnished hugging. "are ya smashers too?"

"I'm not a smasher, but the rest are." explained Brawl. "I'm Brawl, and this is Link, Kirby, Pikachu, Fox and Samus."

"Samus, heh?" Luigi looked at Samus, who still had her power suit on, like a customer looks at a new car. "Pretty fancy robot you've got there. Looks like something proffessor E.Gadd would make..." Luigi muttered, idly kicking Samus's leg.

"I'm not a robot." growled Samus, taking off her helmet and giving Luigi a glare.

Luigi jumped back in suprise. "oh! i'm sorry, madam! I (gulp) didn't know you were wearing some fancy suit..."

Samus shrugged. "i suppose you aren't familar with chozo technology... i suppose i'll let you off, then..." she still kept glaring at Luigi, though.

"heh heh... thnk you, madam... um, you guys want coffee?" said Luigi, trying to shake off Samus's glare.

"sure!"

Luigi quickly made coffee for ten people. while everyone was drinking their coffee, Luigi asked "so, let me guess- you're here 'cause you're looking for another smasher, right?"

"that's right." nodded Brawl.

"then tell me who you're looking for. i might know where they are." suggested Luigi, as he took his coffee cup and went to put it in the sink.

"okay, let's see..." Brawl took out his list, unfolded it, and read it out loud, making sure not to let the other smashers see it: "the next one is a Mr Luigi Mario. do you know him, by any chance?" he added jokingly.

there was the distinctsound of a coffee cup falling into the sink, and Luigi turned to face them with a look of suprise. "wha- me?! really?!"

"well, i don't think i know any other Luigi Mario's..."

"ALL RIGHT!" Luigi cheered. "I knew you guys would need me! i'm always there to back up my bro when things get- hey, wait a minute! why did you go to Yoshi and DK first, if you knew i was a smasher?"

"yeah, if you knew that, why didn't you wait for my brother?" asked Mario.

"oh... well, that's the order you come in on the list... and I'm a little systematic, so I follow it to the letter... sorry to keep you waiting, I suppose..." admitted Brawl.

"okay, what number am I on the list, then?" asked Luigi, annoyed.

"um... number nine..."

"NINE! okay, what number is Mario?"

"...number one."

"OH, COME ON!" Luigi moaned. "I can't be that bad, can I? i mean, first place for Mario, fine, but nine for me? that's unfair, man! I-"

"Luigi, this list is in no way a tier list, if that's what you're thinking." Brawl assured him. "we sincerely believethat all smashers are equal, and should all be given fair respect. and besides, I personally think you could match Mario's fame with a little work, let alone all the "tiers are for queers" shit game2002 keeps moaning about... seriously, that guy needs to shut up and concentrate on making jokes that are actually funny, rather then barraging everyone with not-so-sublimal messaging. jeez, what a douchebag!"

"really? you think i could beat him at his own game?"

"don't get any big ideas, Luigi!" said Mario, rolling his eyes.

"aw, just kidding ya, bro. what say we do this together, hey?" chuckled Luigi.

"of course-a! that's what bros are for-a!" exclaimed Mario, getting up from the sofa. together, the two brothers did a high five.

"LET'S-A GO! SUPER MARIO BROTHERS!"

* * *

YEAH! MARIO BROS FOR THE WIN!

right, here's the authors comments. look away now if you don't wanna be bored to death.

all the super smash bros (not to be confused with the smashers- remember that!) have names that are refences to nintendo games or are actually very obscure nintendo characters. (like Saki and Mac.) i got the idea they would all introduce themselves at the dinner table, so if that bored you, sorry about that. if you can guess all the refences without wikipedia, i'll give ya a cookie. (yeah, good luck with that.) and Mrs Shaberunavi IS cooking mama. you know, from the DS game?

yes, umbrellon mastah, the crazy hand part was based off the newsground thing you saw.

G.I.M.P is a term used on smashboards. if you thought it meant something else... nevermind.

the videogame lyrics will feature in future chapters, though you will have to wait a while before i do stuff like that again. also, the "testing" song is based off the music that plays when connecting to wi-fi. good, no?

yeah, Luigi's kinda brave towards Mario in this fic. he'll tend to occasionally make of his bro. but they love each other really, okay? (NOT LIKE THAT, YOU PERV.)

so, review so i know you're not going "WTFSTFU!", apologies to game2002 (i don't to start a flame war, i'm just joking around, kay?) , and see you later!

oh yeah, the next chapter has Jigglypuff, Ness, and Captain Falcon! with fanfiction's three fave smash bros, how can i possibly get writers block?! (EASILY. Ed.) yes, it's all in **_THE ALL SINGING, ALL DANCING, PK THUNDER FALCON PUNCH SPECIAL!_**, the next chapter of **_SUPER SMASH BROS: WHEN UNIVERSES UNITE_**! DON'T MISS IT!


	7. Chapter 6

oh, dear god... (facepalms self) the website has totally fucked around with my presentation. the whole thing's a mess! hopefully by the time you read this, i'll have edited out all the stupid mistakes... anyway, here's the chapter you've all waited for- the chapter with three of fanfiction's most popular character's, Jigglypuff, Ness and Captain Falcon. enjoy!

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* * *

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CHAPTER 6 – THE ALL SINGING, ALL DANCING, PK THUNDER FALCON PUNCH SPECIAL!

One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four… and jump… land, pirouette… and pose!

Jigglypuff posed as the crowd went crazy for the beautiful Pokemon dancer, the best in the world, and showered her with roses and demanded an encore like terrorist demands a few million dollars.

Naturally, this was all happening inside Jigglypuff's head. The truth was she was posing on top of a tree stump, being watched by diddly squat. But a performer always performs, even if there is nothing to dance about.

Never the less, Jigglypuff sighed. Her life was in a rut, she knew. There could only be so many times you can practice, and when it takes up most of your life, things can get repetitive. It was the same routine, everyday: get up, apply make-up (she had got some from a practically blond headed Pokemon trainer's bag.), practice dancing, practice singing, practice dancing, practice singing, hit-and-run a passing pokemon trainer for food, practice dancing, practice singing, practice dancing, practice singing, have severe mood swing due to lack of fans, consider going on a diet, reject the idea of dieting one packet of marshmallows later, go to bed. It quite simply wasn't interesting, and a far cry from the glamour she dreamed about.

But every performer knows the show must go on, so she sprayed some perfume down her throat, and started to practice her singing.

"Fa, so la, lo fa sa le doh…"

The smashers once again trudged through a pokemon-habited forest. Brawl lead the way, concentrating on the radar used to find Pikachu, followed by Mario, Link, Kirby, Pikachu, Yoshi, Fox, Samus, DK, and finally Luigi, who trailed behind, rubbing his head and groaning loudly.

"Oh, come on, Luigi! Brawl put in that translation chip 15 minutes ago and you're STILL moaning about it?" complained Mario.

"My head is very sensitive! It doesn't just bounce back from being suddenly being viciously walloped with a hammer!" sulked Luigi.

"Your legs are sensitive. Your arms are sensitive. Your teeth are sensitive. And now your head is sensitive. Luigi, is there a single body part you have that is NOT sensitive?" remarked Mario.

"Leave me alone! I can't help it if I feel pain. And besides, you've got a layer of fat protecting your head." Smirked Luigi.

"HEY!"

"Mario, Luigi, could you please not get into another argument? The last thing I want to see is any of us fighting each other. We're in this together, okay?" sighed Brawl.

"Yeah! If you guys split up, it be like the worst thing ever!" chimed Yoshi, in his never-ending state of happiness.

"Okay, okay… sorry Mario." Said Luigi reluctantly.

"Sorry Luigi." Said Mario calmly.

"You started it." Muttered Luigi under his breath.

"Shut up, big nose." Muttered Mario under his.

"Ha! Look who's talking!"

"So, how far we away from this "Jigglypuff", then?" asked DK.

"We're not that away." Replied Brawl, giving the radar a bit of a slap.

"Well, she doesn't look that strong to me." Said DK, looking at the picture Brawl had supplied. "I mean, pink puffballs aren't a good idea if you're looking for a fighter…"

"What do you mean, "pink puffballs aren't good fighters"?" said Kirby, clearly hurt.

"Oops! Forget about you, Kirby." Chuckled DK.

"Kirby and Jigglypuff do look similar… so what abilities does Jigglypuff have?" asked Samus.

"Let me think…" said Pikachu, scratching his head. "Jigglypuffs don't take on their opponents directly- they lure them in with their big eyes, them LITERALLY sing them to sleep."

"She can sing people to sleep? Man, I'm going to her next time I get insomnia!" joked Fox.

"Also, Jigglypuffs are balloon Pokémon," continued Pikachu, "which means they can float around like Kirby, so they should be very hard to hit."

"Anything else?" asked Samus.

"That's all I know about them, really. I've never met one myself." Admitted Pikachu.

"Well, I hope we find "Jigglypuff" soon. I don't want to get lost in the woods…" gulped Luigi.

"Wait, what's that noise?" asked Kirby.

Everyone stopped and listened. A quiet tune could be heard far away.

"fa, so la, lo fa sa le doh…"

"It's coming from over there!" exclaimed Brawl. They dashed through the foliage, jumping over bushes and the like, until Brawl skidded to a stop in front of a clearing. For in the clearing, was a pink puff, standing on top of a tree stump and singing like a bird.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Jigglypuff." Grinned Brawl.

Jigglypuff carried on singing, oblivious to the smashers watching her, or even the outside world. To her, all that mattered right now was the song.

The song carried though the air loud and clear, enchanting and relaxing all who heard it… though for some, it was a little too relaxing.

"ZZZ…"

"Luigi! Wake up! The only time plumbers are supposed to sleep are on the job!" (Cookies for he who spots the reference. ;D)

"Huh? What? It wasn't me officer, I didn't do nothing!"

Thankfully, Jigglypuff did not seem to notice anything, so the song carried on, until, like all good things, it came to an end.

Brawl gave a polite round of applause, and the smashers joined in with clapping as well. Jigglypuff opened her eyes in surprise, but instead of being startled, she took the applause with good grace and a bow. "Thank you! Thank you very much! Glad you enjoyed it! I'll be here all night!"

Brawl stepped forward. "You are the infamous Jigglypuff, am I right?"

Jigglypuff ignored the fact that normally humans cannot understand pokeish- she was too overjoyed that she actually had some fans for once. "Oh, yes! I suppose you're the local press… you may have heard of me in other films such as rise of the Darkrai, Mewtwo returns, and destiny Dexoys…"

"Rrriiiggghhhttt…" said Brawl, giving Jigglypuff a odd look. Jigglypuff's imagery fame had gone to her head, and Brawl was pretty sure that he had not seen any movie with Jigglypuff in it. This was going o be somewhat problematic.

"So, are we having a interview or what? If you want to ask about my depression after being rejected for a part in Pokemon heroes, you'll have to talk to my agent- it's not a subject I like to talk about much, I'm afraid." Asked Jigglypuff casually, flicking her tuft of hair.

The smashers stayed deathly quiet, not wanting to say anything to the insane pokemon. A normal human would have backed away slowly by now, but thankfully, Brawl was a super smash brother, and super smash brothers were trained especially not to fazed by power, magic, speed, size, or imaginary agents. Brawl adjusted his hat, and continued talking.

"Look, we need your help…" Brawl was cut off by Jigglypuff.

"Oh! Are you one of Steven Steinberg's agents? I knew he'd need me one day… of course I'll help him!" said Jigglypuff dreamily.

"Um, no…"

"Oh! I get it! You want to know how to get into the business! Sorry, but I couldn't possibly reveal my secrets- if I did that, anyone could get in- but I could talk to a few directors for you, if you know what I mean." Jigglypuff winked.

"No," said Brawl flatly, "we need you to help save the world."

Jigglypuff frowned. "Good lord, not another charity event!" she groaned.

"NO!" scowled Brawl, taking out a picture of a primid and showing it to her. "You see this? Have you seen any of these lately?" he shouted.

"Not that I recall…" said Jigglypuff, somewhat miffed by Brawl's temper.

Brawl went on. "Well, guess what? Sooner or later, a whole army of these are going to appear from nowhere and turn everything- EVERYTHING- every single fricking thing into a trophy-"

"Good lord-"

"Except you! Because they want you DEAD!"

Looking back, Brawl wishes he did not mention this fact, as Jigglypuff did not react well to it at all.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Jigglypuff ran around in circles panicking. "Oh my god! I'm a wanted puff! They're after me! Oh, god, why didn't I buy a bulletproof limo? Security! I need protection!"

Brawl put his head in his hands. "It just doesn't get any better, does it?" He groaned.

"Boy, and to think all existence depends on that… now that's scary." Commented Fox, watching Jigglypuff's never-ending panic.

"Yeah, that guy's a complete wuss!" said Kirby.

"WHAT?!?"

Jigglypuff stopped panicking and stormed up to Kirby with a fiery rage in her eyes. "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!?" she roared.

"Um… I said, "You're a wuss"?" said Kirby, slightly afraid of Jigglypuff's sudden temper.

"NO YOU DIDN'T! YOU JUST CALLED ME A GUY!!!" shouted Jigglypuff. "CAN'T YOU TELL I'M A GIRL?!?"

"You're a girl? Oh, so that why you had such a high-pitched voice- AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!"

PUNCH! POW! WALLOP! WHACK! SMASH! BANG! CRASH! MAN RAPE! WHAM! SLAP! KICK! ACTION WORD!

Jigglypuff used pound on Kirby!

It's super effective!

"WHY, YOU STUPID LITTLE PINK BASTARD! YOU'RE REALLY GONNA GET IT NOW!!!" roared Jigglypuff as she repetitively pounded Kirby in the face.

"ACK! SPARE ME! IT WAS A SLIP OF THE TOUNGE!" cried Kirby.

"OH YEAH? WELL THIS IS A SLIP OF MY FIST!"

"I ONLY MADE A MISTAKE!"

"DAMM RIGHT YOU MADE A MISTAKE, FOOL!"

"AAAAHHH!!! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!"

"Kirby, couldn't you just inhale her and get rid of her that way?" pointed out Pikachu.

"I CAN'T!" shouted Kirby. "SHE'S A GIRL! I'LL GET COOTIES!"

" IF YOU INHALE ME, YOU'LL GET A LOT MORE THAN COOTIES, PAL!" shouted Jigglypuff.

"Jigglypuff, if you don't let go of Kirby right now, we will press charges!" ordered Brawl, using the old fight-them-on-their-own-level technique.

Jigglypuff paused. "Hmm… my lawyers could take you on, but it would be bad for my reputation… alright, I'll let you off." She sulked, letting go of Kirby. Kirby collapsed on the ground unconscious. "Well, I've had enough of you people." Grumped Jigglypuff as she walked away. "I'm just a super-uber-glamorous actor. I can't save the world. Especially if people keep thinking I'm a guy!" she growled.

"But the whole world is at stake!" cried Brawl, near to falling to his knees and begging.

"And? Take a good look at me, mister. Do I look like the kind to person who saves the world?" asked Jigglypuff.

"No… but you gave poor Kirby a lifetime's worth of trauma in 30 seconds! Surely that's got to account for something!" whined Brawl.

"Yeah, okay, but against a whole army? I could break a nail!" exclaimed Jigglypuff.

"You don't have any nails!" Link pointed out.

"We'll make sure you don't come to any harm, Jigglypuff." Brawl tried to reassure her.

"You insolent lot? HA! Now I'm definitely not going! Especially as I don't get any pay… or a stunt double!" Jigglypuff sulked.

"Jigglypuff, if you help us, you will become so damm famous, even Marylyn Monroe will be jealous of you!" said Brawl, in one last desperate plea.

Jigglypuff stopped in her tracks and turned around slowly. "…Famous?" she said quietly.

"Um, yeah! Think about it!" Brawl blabbered. "It's not like the world ever forgets their saviour- I mean, they'd be indebted to you!"

Jigglypuff's eyes lit up. "Hmm… I can see the headlines now… "Fabulous actor saves world"… I like it!" smiled Jigglypuff.

"So we've got a deal?" asked Brawl desperately.

"Okay, but on two conditions," announced Jigglpuff. "First, make sure idiots like HIM-" she pointed at Kirby- "don't go anywhere near me…"

"I don't think that's going to be a problem,…" said Pikachu, poking Kirby's unconscious body.

"And secondly, a nice big flashy trailer!" said Jigglypuff with glee.

Brawl crossed his fingers behind his back, hoping Jigglypuff would forget the trailer bit. "You've got a deal!" he extended his arm for a handshake.

"All right!" said Jigglypuff, high fiving Brawl. "I won't let you down! I'm going to be the most super-awesome uber-glamorous mega-fab heroine ever! Those… those… what you call them, darling? Those purple things you showed me."

"Primids." Said Brawl.

"those primids aren't going to stand a chance against me!" boasted Jigglypuff as she started shadow boxing. "LOOK OUT WORLD! HERE COMES JIGGLYPUFF!" she yelled.

"ACK! KEEP HER AWAY FROM ME!" screamed Kirby, as he woke up and leapt into the arms of a surprised Luigi.

"WAAA!" cried Luigi, as he toppled into a thorn bush. Kirby managed to leap out of his arms just in time. Sadly, Luigi… well, take a wild guess.

CRASH!

"Ow…" moaned Luigi, lying in pain.

Jigglypuff looked at the bush in concern. "Oh dear, what a mess. Ah well, the servants will clean it up!" she said cheerfully, walking out of the clearing with Brawl escorting her.

Luigi groaned as he pulled himself out of the thorn bush. "Yeah, real nice service they have here!"

* * *

"I didn't hit you too hard, did I, Jigglypuff?"

"Oh no, I'm fine, darling! Beside, this translation thingie will be a big help when I perform abroad!" chuckled Jigglypuff.

Brawl rolled his eyes at Jigglypuff's attempts to convince everyone she was a celebrity, hoping desperately that she would snap out of it soon. "Good. And the name's Brawl, by the way."

"Brawl? What a fascinating name… it just oozes with personality. Speaking of which, what are my co-workers again? I can't possibly ask them myself, it would make me look ignorant…" whispered Jigglypuff.

I think you've already proved yourself to be a little ignorant… thought Brawl. "Sure. DK's the big ape, Fox's the one who looks like a fox, of course, Kirby's the pink blob…"

"Oh, so that's what the idiot's name is!"

"…Yeah. (Cough) moving on… Luigi's the guy wearing the green shirt and blue overalls, he's Mario's younger brother, who's the one wearing red, by the way. Pikachu's the yellow mouse, he's a Pokemon like you, Samus is the person in that robot-like suit- she's a female, by the way…"

"Is she really? Wow, I had no idea!"

"And finally, there's Yoshi, the green dinosaur." Finished Brawl.

"Thank you, Brawl!" bowed Jigglypuff. "I don't know what I've done without you. I think I'll go check out my trailer… oh, my, a bar!" she cheered, as she wandered off to "mingle", leaving Brawl alone to thank Miyamoto that was over.

"She was a right tough one to crack, wasn't she?" asked Melee.

"Yeah." Huffed Brawl, taking off his hat to scratch his head. "I hope the next one is at least sane."

"Well, you know the drill- here's the list." Said Melee, handing it back to Brawl.

Brawl counted down the list. " Five, ten, eleven… YES! The next two should be easy ones!" Brawl rejoiced.

Melee looked at the list himself. " Going there, huh? You go get the smashers; I'll get the portal up. It'll be a nice day to go to Eagleland…"

Brawl quickly went next door, where the smashers were relaxing. "Hey! Mario, Luigi, Link, come with me! We're off to Onett!" he announced.

"Okay dokey!"

"Let's-a go!"

"Coming!"

"Hey, how come we don't get to go?" asked Kirby.

"Sorry, Kirby, but the population of Onett is, how should I put this… not really used to talking animals. They freak out if they saw you, I'm afraid." Brawl explained.

"Aw, man!" moaned Pikachu.

"That's fine by me. I could use a break." Shrugged Fox.

"Same here." Agreed Jigglypuff. "I need time to apply my eye liner…"

"And what about me?" asked Samus. "I'm human."

"Well, Eagleland isn't that technologically advanced yet. If they saw you in your suit, they'd probably mistake you for the terminator or something." Brawl pointed out.

"I could just go in my zero suit." Samus suggested.

"Samus, Onett isn't a space colony. A zero suit would be too revealing for these people. You'd be locked up for indignity!" exclaimed Brawl.

"Plus you'd be wolf-whistled every ten seconds." Added Melee from next door.

Samus scowled. " Urrggh… I can't stand that sort of thing. You can leave me out."

"Thank you." Nodded Brawl. "Now that's cleared up, shall we go? Onett awaits…"

* * *

It's a beautiful day in Onett. The sun is shining, the grass are green, the mountain is still and quiet, the rabbits are skipping by, the scenery is being incredibly helpful with helping the author writing this unnecessarily long sentence that's only here to increase the word count…

BEEP! BEEP!

"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!"

SCREECH!

"Get out of the way, you maniac!"

…And Link has just nearly been run over by a car for the third time in a row.

"Link, how many times do I have to tell you? Stop, look, and listen!" groaned Brawl.

"Okay, okay! I'm just not used to avoiding things that go that fast!" retaliated Link. "Man, how fast do those "car" things go, anyway? Jeez…"

"Eighty miles an hour." Answered Brawl.

"EIGHTY MILES AN HOUR?!? Those thing could cross Hyrule field in minutes!" exclaimed Link.

"Well, people here don't have time to go around on horseback. Just try to act inconspicuous, okay? If people find out we come from another dimension, there's no knowing what they'll do!" Brawl told Link. "And going around shouting out your amazement about cars is not helping!"

"Okay! I'll try my best… seriously, eighty miles an hour… that's overkill…" muttered Link.

"Hey, this place is really nice!" said Luigi, looking over the perfectly trimmed green sea of lawns that was Onett suburbia. "Kinda like back home."

"Yeah, this place would get an A* in mushroom kingdom cleaning standards." Agreed Mario.

"Peach would certainly approve." Smiled Luigi.

"Yeah…" said Mario quietly, as his heart tugged at the strings of his thoughts. Peach… she would like it here… god, right now she'd be smiling like a six year old at Christmas… I miss her smile. Why don't I see her smile as often as I used to anymore? Why don't I go see her as much as I used to anymore? Why can't I just say the words?

How can I live without her?

"YO! Mario! Wake up! We're here!" exclaimed Brawl.

"huh? Where?" asked Mario, dazed.

"at Ness's house!" announced Brawl cheerfully.

Ness's house was a few hundred metres away from the main part of Onett at the foot of the mountain, and was just as smart looking as the other houses, though the lawn was a little messy on the edges.

"okay, listen up. I'll do the talking here. If you have to say something, keep in mind we are in a completely different world, so some things you find normal may be odd to others. Just think before you speak, okay? And keep an eye out for primid!" explained Brawl.

"Got it!"

"And Link? Don't ask any questions like "why do your cars go so fast?" because that will make you look like a complete weirdo!"

"Alright! Alright! Don't rub it in! I'll keep my mouth shut!" moaned Link.

Brawl knocked on the door. There was a cry of "I'll be there in a minute!", the sound of someone coming down the stairs,and then the door was opened by a blond haired lady. Ness's mum, to be more precise.

"Excuse me madam, but does Ness happen to be in?" asked Brawl politely.

"Sorry, no, not right now. Why, has he done something wrong?" asked Ness's mum. " Good lord, don't tell me he's accidentally set something on fire again!"

Link, Luigi and Mario looked at each other nervously. What kind of person was Ness like?

"Umm, no. We just need to talk to him, that's all." Explained Brawl.

"Oh. Well, he's not in right now, but he'll be back soon." Smiled Ness's mum. "he always keeps his promises. He's such a good boy. Would you like to come in? I can make you some tea."

"Certainly. Though no tea for me, thank you very much." Answered Brawl, as he entered Ness's house along with Mario, Luigi and Link.

Ness's house was pretty simple in design. To your right as you came, there was an old dog asleep in his basket and an old fashioned telephone on top of a small table. Further ahead was a sofa and TV, and a dining table. In the corner was a small kitchen, and at the back were the stairs to upstairs.

"How many sugars do you want in your tea?" asked Ness's mum from the kitchen, as Brawl and the smashers sat down at the table.

"Two for-a me!" said Mario.

"Same here!" said Luigi.

"No sugars for me, thanks!" said Link.

Ness's mum soon came back with three cups of tea. Brawl satisfied himself with another bottle of st Clements.

"So, what do you need to see my son for?" asked Ness's mum as she sat down with a cup of tea.

"Well…" Brawl hesitated for a moment. "To be honest, we're here to ask your son for help."

"Oh! I suppose that's because you've heard of my son's psychic powers." Said Ness's mum, taking a slurp of her tea.

"P-psychic powers?!?" Link, Luigi and Mario looked up in surprise. Brawl gave his "I know something you don't" smile.

"I know how you feel. At first I didn't believe myself… but then Ness moved the table without touching it. Needless to say, we had a long talk after that." Ness's mum rolled his eyes. "So what do you need him for, anyway?"

"Um… that'll be something that I'll tell when he gets here." Said Brawl, trying not to laugh at the look Mario, Luigi and Link's faces. "When will he be home?"

"Let's see… according to the clock, he should be back around about…"

FASWOOSH-KAAABLAAAM!

"…Now?" finished Brawl.

"What the heck was that-a?" asked Mario.

"Oh, don't tell me he's crashed again…" groaned Ness's mum.

Brawl, Mario, Luigi, Link and Ness's mum moved to the font door, and the scene was bizarre to behold.

Outside, a young boy who was covered in cartoon-like charcoal looked guiltily at a similarly charred mailbox that looked like it had just been run over by a car.

"NESS! How many times have I told you? When you teleport, brake before the front lawn! This is the tenth mailbox you've totalled!" Ness's mum moaned.

"Tele… port?" said Luigi, confused.

"Well, at least that's something I can relate to…" shrugged Link, ignoring the odd look he promptly got from the Mario bros.

"Sorry mum…" said Ness weakly as he shook off the charcoal. "But if it's any consolation, I'm completely unharmed! (Unlike the mailbox…)"

Ness was a young boy wearing a blue and yellow shirt, and short blue jeans. His black messy hair was covered by a big red cap, which he wore back-to-front, "beat boy style".

"Oh, we'll talk about this later. Just get in here, will you? But shake off all that charcoal first! If you get any of that on my sofa, I will kill you!" growled Ness's mum.

"Okay, mum…" sighed Ness, as he shook himself down one last time and entered the house.

"Hey, mum? Who are these guys?" Ness pointed at Link, Luigi and Mario. "Are they tramps you took in or something?"

"HEY!"

"Ness! Don't say things like that to visitors!" chided Ness's mum.

"Oops! Sorry guys. I just saw the shabby clothes and thought, "whoa, someone's been roughing it on the streets!"." Ness explained.

"Hey! You calling our overalls shabby?" grumped Mario.

"Yeah! How can you just say that? Overalls never go out of style!" exclaimed Luigi, hurt.

"My tunic isn't shabby! It's made of 100% cotton! And I washed it just yesterday, too!" sulked Link.

"And who's this guy with the funky hat?" asked Ness, referring to Brawl.

" You think my hat's funky?" asked Brawl, adjusting said hat. "Personally I think it's more "stylish"… anyway! Allow me to introduce ourselves! I'm Brawl, and this is Mario, Luigi and Link. And we need your help…"

"Oh, I get it!" Ness exclaimed, pointing to Link. "This guy's gone crazy and thinks he's in the middle ages, so you want me to go into his mind and make him uncrazy!"

"WHAT? I'm not mad! I'm just- um- Brawl, just explain, will you? Tell them I'm not crazy!" panicked Link.

"He's got a point. Your clothes are kinda weird… and why the heck are you carrying a sword around?!? Get that thing away from my sofa before you break something!" ordered Ness's mum.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop!" said Brawl as he stood in front of Link. "Look, I can explain… the fact is, we're from a different dimension."

There was a long silence, which was finally interrupted by Ness saying: "Oh, so he's the crazy one!"

"No! I'm serious! You gotta believe me! I'm telling the truth!" groaned Brawl.

"And your proof of this is where? You don't like the kind of guys who have super-intelligent technology. Maybe really good plumbing, but not the kind of stuff for whatever you use to travel between "dimensions"!" Ness folded his arms. "I've seen aliens, but that's goldfish compared to the claim you're making! I may be ten years old, but this story you're telling me is more far-fetched than any nursery rhyme!"

"But- but- but…" Brawl snapped his fingers. "Okay, go ahead. Why don't you take a look for yourself, Ness?" Brawl leant down so his forehead was right in front of Ness. "Take a good look through here. See it for yourself."

Ness was undoubtedly surprised by this sudden change of direction, but stood his ground. "Okay, pal, but if I find any delusions in there, you owe me five bucks."

"NESS!"

"I'm just kidding, mum! Jeeze!" whined Ness. He put his hands on his forehead. "Alright, here I come! Ready or not!" and with that, Ness closed his eyes and looked like he was trying to stop his head from flying off. Everyone watched quietly.

"Let's see… personality, dreams, primal instincts… aha! Memories!" announced Ness to no one in particular. "Let's see what we've got here…"

There was a long silence. At first, it looked like Ness had conked out, but then Ness said out loud: "huh?"

Ness went on to say similar things, like "whoa…" "Awesome!" "Yikes!" "Amazing!" and "EEEW!" ("Hey! Keep out of there! That's private stuff, Ness!")

At last, Ness came out of his concentration, and stood there, blinking. "Well?" asked Ness's mum. "What's wrong with his head?"

"Nothing's wrong with his head…" muttered Ness quietly. "They really do come from a different dimension…"

Brawl crossed his arms with a smug smile on his face.

"Are you sure?" asked Ness's mum.

"Very sure. There wasn't a single thing that looked imposed or unnatural." Ness smiled. "You guys have done a heck of a lot... so watcha doing in a town like this? I don't think there's anything you'd find interesting around here."

Brawl laughed. "I think you're forgetting the kid who defeated gigyas, the "evil power". I would think that qualifies as interesting." He chuckled.

"How do you know about that?" gasped Ness.

"I know a lot of things." Said Brawl simply. "It's standard knowledge for a smash brother."

"Gigyas? I thought that was something Ness made up in his stories!" Ness's mum huffed.

Brawl ignored Ness's mum. "Ness. If you saw the purple puppets in my memories, and are wondering what they are, they're called primid. They're lead by two hands: Master Hand and Crazy Hand. And they can only be defeated if all the smashers are gathered to open the door to subspace…"

Brawl put his hand on Ness's shoulder. "You are one of those smashers, Ness. This is your second destiny."

Ness blinked twice. "Wait, let me get this straight. You want a kid with several different psychic powers to help you beat the stuffing out of a pair of giant hands."

Brawl nodded.

Ness broke into a massive grin. "NO SWEAT!" he cried, high-fiving Brawl.

"Wait! You can't take my son into a different dimension!" panicked Ness's mum. "It's dangerous! What if he gets hurt? I know he can pack a punch, but…"

"Madam, your son will be safe with us. If it's necessary, I will give my life to make sure he lives." Brawl gave a salute. "He will return home. I promise."

"Well… please let me talk to him before you leave." Pleaded Ness's mum.

"Certainly. I'll step outside to give you some room. Come on, Mario, Luigi, Link! Respect their privacy!" they walked outside while Ness's mum bent down to give her son a hug.

"Ness, I know you can get through a lot more danger unscathed than any normal boy, but don't try to push yourself too hard." Began Ness's mum. "I don't want you coming home in a crutch, okay? And your farther would agree with me if he wasn't at work all day."

"I'll be fine, mum. I promise not to do anything stupid- or break any more mailboxes, either." Joked Ness.

Ness's mum laughed. "you've still got your farther's sense of humour, I see. Now be a good boy out there, and phone me once in a while, okay? I know you get homesick. And phone your dad, too. He'll want to know what's going on too."

"I will, mum. I'd never forget about you." Smiled Ness.

Ness's mum stood up. "goodbye, Ness. Remember, I'll always be waiting here for when you get home with a good old fashioned steak."

"Goodbye, mum. I love ya! Bye!" shouted Ness as he went out the door.

* * *

Brawl approached Ness as he left the house. "You ready to rock, Ness?"

Ness whipped out his baseball bat out of his rucksack. "I'm ready to roll!"

Brawl grinned like a loon. "Now THAT'S what I'm talking about! Let's hit the road!"

"Alright!"

And so, Ness began his quest as a smasher. Soon, he would discover it would turn out to be an epic adventure of friendship, rock and roll, huge explosions, time paradoxes, really big robots and… wait, what was it I was going to say? I've forgotten…

"WAIT!"

Brawl and co. turned round to see much to their surprise Ness's mum chasing after them. "Wait! He can't go just yet!" she cried.

"Why not? He said goodbye, didn't he?" asked Brawl.

"(Puff) yes, but (puff) he's forgotten to take (puff) his favourite PJ's!" declared Ness's mum, holding up some pyjamas with pictures of winnie the pooh all over it.

"MUUUUUMMMM!!!"

Oh yes, that was it. Embarrassing pyjamas.

* * *

"Guys, this is Ness! Ness, these people are the other smashers." Announced Brawl.

"Yo!" said Ness coolly.

Sadly, the reply Ness got was the smashers staring at him. "Err… you sure this boy is a smasher, Brawl? I mean, he's only a kid…" mumbled Fox, scratching his head.

"Well, seeing as we've already got a few unlikely looking heroes, I would leave scepticism for later, Fox." Said Link, pointing at Mario.

"Hey! What do ya mean-a, I'm a unlikely looking hero?" whined Mario.

Jigglypuff ignored Mario's compliant. "Well, I hear children actors are good for supporting roles, so you never now… what does he do, anyway?"

"Let's find out." Said Fox coolly, suddenly throwing a bottle at Ness. Much to everyone's surprise, Ness simply pointed at the bottle, causing some kind of swirly circles to appear and stop the bottle in midair. Then, using his fingers to swirl the circles like a bowl of water, he sent the bottle flying harmlessly into a wall, where it shattered on impact. ("Will you people STOP USING MY BOTTLES!?!")

There was another period of silence as everyone gawked at Ness. "PSI." he explained.

"PSI? What the heck is that?" asked Fox.

"I think he means he's physic." Said Samus. "That's fascinating… I don't think I've ever met a single living thing who can control matter with the power of the mind…"

"Wow! You mean he can read minds? Hey, Ness, what am I thinking of?" asked Kirby, putting his hands on his head to block out the "mind-waves".

"You're thinking about tomatoes." Replied Ness straight off the bat.

Kirby stared at him in astonishment. "WOAH! You were right! How did you do that?"

"Well, seeing as you were staring at that tomato over there when you asked me to read your mind, it doesn't take much to work out what you are thinking about."

Kirby frowned. "Aw, man… I thought no one would figure that out… anyway, my name's Kirby!"

"Kirby! Sweet name! Respect!" Ness high fived Kirby.

"And I'm Pikachu! You were awesome with that bottle, Ness!" chirped Pikachu.

"Yeah? You should have seen me when I fought off my entire local police force!" grinned Ness.

"WOAH." Kirby and Pikachu gawped.

"Hey Kirby! Could you introduce the rest of the guys to Ness for me? I've got stuff to do." Asked Brawl, as he refilled his bottle of St. Clements.

"Sure! No problem! He'll get on just great!" declared Kirby.

"Okay! See you guys later!" Brawl shouted as he went back into the portal room.

* * *

"Melee, set the portal to dimension 8GX!" announced Brawl.

"One portal to 8GX coming up!" boomed Melee as he furiously scrambled at the keyboard, and in no time at all a portal was up. "There you go! Don't do anything stupid, now!"

"Relax, Melee, I got this one covered. It should be simple as pie." Brawl grinned. "And besides, since when did I do something stupid?"

"Well, you must be a bit thick if you think you can convince anyone you don't look at porn at night…"

"MEEELEEEE!!!!"

* * *

"Come on, Ness! Let me introduce you to the other guys!" cheered Kirby, pulling on Ness's leg.

"Okay! Sure!" agreed Ness, following Kirby over to Yoshi.

"This is Yoshi! He's a dinosaur!" Kirby announced.

"Hey, Ness! Nice to meet you!" chirped Yoshi.

"Hey! I've seen dinosaurs before- though they weren't that friendly sadly. Shame, really, they could have been really helpful." Ness's eyes fell upon Yoshi's back. "Whoa! Is that a saddle?"

"Yeah! Wanna ride?" asked Yoshi.

"Heck yeah!" Ness whooped as he jumped onto Yoshi's back. "To infinity and beyond- WAAA!"

Unfortunately, Yoshi had got a little over excited and sped off as soon as Ness got on him, causing to lose balance and fall off. "yikes! Sorry, Ness! Are you okay? I got over-excited again…" moaned Yoshi in sadness.

"Nah, I'm fine. I've had worse." Ness groaned.

"Here, let me help you up." Said DK, lending Ness a hand.

"Thanks, man- whoa! A giant monkey!" gasped Ness.

"Actually, I'm a ape." DK corrected him.

"Oh, right! Wow, did you guys bust him out of a zoo or something?" asked Ness.

"A zoo? No way, man! No zoo could hold me, pal! The name's DK- Donkey Kong!" grinned DK, shaking Ness's hand like his life depended on it. At one point Ness's feet nearly left the floor, he was shaking so hard.

"Your name's Kong? As in THE king Kong?" asked Ness, amazed.

"Well, I am the king of the jungle if that's what you mean." DK thumped his chest in pride.

Ness gave a thumps up. "Cool! You ever been to the top of the empire state building?"

DK scratched his head. "Not yet. I'll go on holiday there sometime, I think."

"Oh. Right."

"Hey, come Ness! No time to hang around! Come meet Fox!" Kirby grabbed Ness's leg again.

"Yikes! Okay! Steady on there, Kirby!" yelped Ness as he was taken to Fox.

Fox rolled his eyes as he saw Kirby dragging Ness towards him. "That Kirby could drive a dingo crazy…"

"This is Fox!" said Kirby as he let go of Ness's leg. "Brawl says he's the best awring pilot in the Lyat whatsit."

"Awring?"

"Some kind of spaceship he uses to shoot stuff up."

"Wow! Hey Fox, have you ever blown up a entire space station all by yourself?" asked Ness, with excitement in his eyes.

"Space stations? Heck, I've blown up so many of them I've lost count!" boasted Fox, giving a thumps up.

"Ace!"

"Space stations? I've blown up a few in my time- and I didn't need to use a big fighter spaceship." Samus spoke up. "I just went in them with my power suit, and let my arm cannon do the rest." She smiled smugly.

Ness mouth dropped in surprise. "you mean you blew a whole space station up with your gun, mrs…?"

"Samus Aran." Samus told him. "I just went in, blew away anyone who got in the way, and activated the old self-destruct sequence." She held up her arm cannon. "this gun has wiped out at least three entire species of parasites, all by itself."

"AWESOME!" cheered Ness.

"Oi! Are you suggesting that I'm a coward because I'm a fighter pilot?" complained Fox.

"Well, I'd like to see you try to blow up anything with that little matchstick of a gun of yours!" retorted Samus.

"Yeah, well I'd like to see you dodge a battilion's worth of enemy fire with your big clunky suit of armour you've got there!"

And so started a rather loud argument between Fox and Samus. "I think it's time to move on." Gulped Kirby.

"I'm with you there, Kirby." Agreed Ness, slowly walking away from the fuming two. As he did, however, he noticed Jigglypuff practicing her dancing again. "hey, Kirby, who's that pink puff that kinda looks like you?"

"HER?" Kirby's eyes widened in terror. "that's… that's the she-devil…" he stuttered.

"That's Jigglypuff." Pikachu explained. "she thinks she's a famous actor. She's a little loopy, if you ask me."

"I've dealt with these kind of people before." Ness nodded. "don't worry, I'll deal with her delusions quicker than Jack Flash!"

Pikachu frowned. "err, I wouldn't do that if I were you, Ness. Telling Jigglypuff she's delusional will probably qualify you for a smack in the face."

"Oh, come on, guys!" Ness said confidently. "what's the worst she could do to me? she's only a puff!"

Kirby looked at Ness with a shellshocked look on his face. "You don't want to know…"

* * *

F-Zero. The sport that was so famous that the whole universe knew about it, and whoever claimed the title of F-Zero champ was considered to have the greatest honour in the universe. And when it came to F-Zero, there was one name everyone knew.

Captain Falcon. Pilot of F-Zero machine no. "lucky" 7, the Blue Falcon. The winner of so many F-Zero grand prixes that Octoman was starting to run out of suckers to count with.

Of course, the man himself was naturally a rival to many a jealous person. And a jealous person in the world of F-Zero meant another gun at your head. However, mix this with a career in bounty hunting that managed to piss off Black Shadow, the most powerful villain in the galaxy, and you may start pondering if the guy with the never-say-die attitude actually had a death wish. No small wonder then, that Captain Falcon's home was top secret, unknown even to the tax-office. (Thankfully, Captain Falcon still sent a slice of his money to them every now and then to keep them happy/quiet.)

There was rumours- that he lived on a series of small islands, each with a different F-Zero track so the Captain could practice every day with fail. He supposedly had a huge mansion with more security than the galactic federation's bank account (especially his trophies and his "beloved" blue falcon.), and the jungle that surrounded it had enough automated guns to make an entire army nervous. But because nobody could find it, nobody could truly describe what the Captain's home was like. Even news reporters that tried to ask him what his house was like were answered by the falcon flyer taking off to parts unknown. Nobody knew where Captain Falcon lived.

Except, of course, the ever so smart-arsed super smash brothers. Naturally, they knew where he lived, and with the help of G.I.M.P. and Melee, Brawl was able to warp right into his house, and more importantly, was able to walk down it's corridors without having to dodge more laser beams than Tom Cruise.

Brawl slowly whistled as he wandered through the corridors of the champ's abode. His plan was simple- sit on the sofa and be the first thing Captain Falcon sees when he gets through the door (after another of his bounty hunting sprees, naturally.), introduce himself politely, then get down to business like a proper gentleman. As Captain Falcon tended to work for "justice", it wouldn't be much of a problem to convince to help save the universe. Convincing him that Brawl was from another dimension would be another matter altogether, which is why Brawl insisted on meeting him personally, rather on video-screen contact- having a inter dimensional portal come out of nowhere right in front of someone was a damm sure way to prove to them the existence of other dimensions. Brawl was petty determined to make this one go smoothly.

For now though, he would have to wait. So now he wandered some more, through the seemingly empty space of Captain falcon's house. He had learnt many things since he arrived here about Captain Falcon. For example, he had discovered in the kitchen that the Captain liked turkey sandwiches, and had the occanisional beer. (Obviously worried about damaging his machine, the Captain had left a message on his fridge: "NEVER, EVER drink and drive. OR ELSE YOU WILL DIE.") The Captain, not surprisingly, was a fitness fanatic, hence the swimming pool and absolutely huge gym. He also had a lot of bedrooms, for some reason- Melee joked that "he has one for each of his girlfriends", but Brawl thought it was for security reasons. If the enemy doesn't know where you sleep, they can't kill you in your sleep.

Finally, Brawl's feet got worn out, and he hadn't even explored the whole house yet. Captain Falcon had a kick-ass crib for sure. So Brawl went back to the living room to wait for the Captain once more.

"Jeeze, how long can a bounty hunter take?" moaned Brawl, as he flopped down on a luxury sofa.

"Well, the world of F-Zero has a lot going on." Melee explained. "There's always lots of criminals to catch. And as Falcon is a man of justice, He'll want to catch every single one of them. He's a pro-achiever, you can't deny that."

"Yeah, I suppose so." Brawl sighed, looking about. An open doorway caught his eye. "Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that Falcon's infamous trophy collection?" he cried in delight.

"Stop right there!" shouted Melee. "I know where this is going- I am not going to spend ten minutes hacking just so you can look at a few pieces of brass! The security on that room is completely insane!"

"But you can crack it, right?" said Brawl hopefully.

"Dream on, bro." Replied Melee sulkily.

"Fine." Sulked Brawl, getting off the couch and walking to the window with his hands in his pockets. "I'll just sit here and enjoy the beautiful but boring view."

The view was beautiful. It had all the essential ingredients of a clichéd filler description paragraph. Trees in more colours than dulux paint, crystal blur sea, clouds fluffier than the inside of your duvet, sand as brazen as the sun itself… and to top it all off, there was a big F-Zero track in the distance, twisting and turning like a giant abstract sculpture. Never the less, Brawl wished he could go and walk about in it, rather than just stare at it. But then something below him caught his eye.

"WOW!" he shouted rather too loudly.

Down below was the golden crest of the falcon flyer, illuminated by the sun so well it looked like a giant earring. And even better, parked right next to it was the universe's most infamous F-Zero machine, sitting there like a super powered micro-machine.

The Blue Falcon.

"Hey, Melee! Have you checked out the falcon flyer? And the Blue Falcon is right next to it!" chattered Brawl gleefully.

"Huh?" Brawl heard Melee typing on the keyboard as he tried to get a better look over his earphone. "Whoa! Now there's something I'd like a ride in!" Melee exclaimed.

"Awesome, isn't it? Man, I can't believe I'm looking at the falcon flyer and the Blue Falcon with my own eyes." Brawl grinned. Then he noticed something. If both the Blue Falcon and the falcon flyer were here, that meant Captain Falcon wasn't racing or bounty hunting. Which meant…

"Err, Melee? When did Captain Falcon last return from bounty hunting?" Brawl asked with dread.

"Let's see… he came back an hour ago, and he hasn't left since." After Melee realised what Brawl was getting at, he added: "shit."

"You mean he's in the house right now?!?" hissed Brawl.

"(Gulp) yep… I guess you were lucky enough not to bump into him." Melee admitted, embarrassed.

"Goddam it, Melee! If Captain Falcon finds me wandering around like this, I'm in big trouble! Where is Captain Falcon right now?" asked Brawl, panicking.

"Oh, that's easy. He's behind you, on the walkway above."

Brawl turned round in surprise just in time to hear two words he did not want to hear.

"**FALCON PUNCH!!!**"

* * *

Captain Falcon just had a bad day. He had come within centimetres of catching Zoda, but the smartass dropped a smoke-bomb and disappeared. And just after he had dealt with his cyborgs as well. It was frustrating and exhausting, which is why Captain Falcon decided to take a few hours to get some shuteye.

But then he woke up when he heard someone go "WOW!" rather too loudly.

Within seconds, Captain Falcon figured out that someone was in this house, someone had hacked the security system, that someone with the power to hack his security system would almost certainly be pretty damm dangerous, and using his good knowledge of his own house, he estimated that it came from the window that overlooked his beloved Blue Falcon. The intruder was staring at his machine. And probably had the potential to steal his machine as well.

"Not on my watch!"

Captain Falcon ran through the corridors of his home quietly, eventually ending up on the walkway above his living room. Glancing towards the window, he spotted a strange teen with a hat and a ton of weaponry. This guy obviously wanted a fight, with a sword, two types of guns and a bazooka.

A fair fight against Captain Falcon, then.

"Where is Captain Falcon right now?" asked the strange teen.

"Oh, that's easy." Said a voice on the strange teen's earphone. "He's behind you, on the walkway above."

The intruder turned to see him. The intruder, who probably had intentions to assassinate him, had spotted him. Time to act.

Giving him a cocky grin, Captain Falcon leaped from the railings and unleashed his signature move.

"**FALCON PUNCH!!!**"

* * *

Seeing a muscle-bound man dressed completely in blue spandex jump towards you with his fist on fire and a intention to punch you with said fist is a pretty scary experience on it's own. But when you know that person is the Captain Falcon, and that punch is the falcon punch, it becomes a pant-wettingly terrifying ordeal. It is for this reason why Brawl can never exactly remember how he dodged it- but whether the reason he fell flat on his back on the floor was a result of superb reactions or his legs giving way in total fear, he definitely remembers thanking Miyamoto the flaming fist of doom did not connect with his face.

But Falcon was not finished with him, no chance. He grabbed him by the shoulders, yanked him up, shook him like a rag-doll, and roared "who are you working for? How did you get in? What were you planning to do? Answer me, or so help me I'll kick your ass into the floor!"

Now, Brawl is quite a hardened guy. He's brave. A lot of things don't faze him. But when you've just had a close call with a falcon punch, it's very easy to crack like an egg. So Brawl did the only thing his total fear would let him.

He broke into tears.

"OHMYGODIDIDNTWANTTOKILLYOUIWASNTTRYINGTONICKYOURMACHINEIMSORRYICAMEINTOYOURHOUSEUNINVITEDPLEEEEAAASSSSEEEDONTKILLMEEEEEEEEEWAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! (sob sob)"

Falcon was very surprised by this outburst. He certainly did not expect him to crack that easily- heck, he hadn't even managed to punch him yet! But a guy who managed to hack into his security system must be pretty determined, so why did he surrender so easily? Something wasn't quite right here.

Falcon let Brawl go. "Okay kid, sit down and get a hold of yourself. Seeing as you're not trying to kill me, I'll go easy on you. But I want to know why you're in my house. How did you get past security, anyway?" he asked cautiously.

Brawl gulped nervously. How was he supposed to just go "I come from another dimension" just like that? He had a feeling that if Falcon thought he was joking around with him, his face might just end up in the line of fire again. Thankfully, he was saved by the sound of laughter coming over his earphone.

"Oh my god! Oh my god!" guffawed Melee. "I'm sorry, bro- but the way you just broke down like that- ha ha ha! - Was HILAIRIOUS! (Snort, giggle.)"

"HEY! Leave me alone! Being falcon punched can be a very traumatic experience!" Brawl complained, though he was still sobbing and sniffing.

Captain Falcon plucked the earphone out of Brawl's ear, causing Brawl to duck down in fear, thinking another punch was coming. When he realised he was still conscious, he looked up to see Falcon examining the earpiece. "Who are you, and why did you send this poor kid into my house?" he barked.

"Little kid? That's my brother you're talking to!" said Melee, confused.

"You sent your own little brother into my house for your own evil gains? You sick bastard!" fumed Captain Falcon.

"Err… actually, he's my older brother." Melee corrected.

"Really? Cause by the way he's acting, he could well be five years old." Said Captain Falcon, surprised.

"HEY! That's really hurtful, seeing as I've just been through a lot of trauma!" sobbed Brawl pathetically.

Captain Falcon sighed with impatience. "Look, just tell what's going on right now, or else!" he shouted.

"Alright, look. We need your help, and Brawl went to your house. I hacked the security system so he could get in without getting shot at. He was planning to meet with you when you came back from bounty hunting, but he messed up and went into your house while you were still in it." Melee explained.

"NO I DIDN'T! You were the one who messed up, Melee. You didn't even check if he was out!" Brawl complained.

Captain Falcon held his hand up to Brawl's face. "Kid, let's not waste time with petty arguments. Other kid on microphone, very impressive work with hacking my security system. But next time you want to speak to me in private, you give me a call and I'll meet you in my falcon flyer, okay? Don't just break into my house. I'm surprised you even managed to find it."

"That's what I said, but no, Mr Fancypants here just had to do things the hard way, didn't he?" moaned Melee. "He just had to go and stick his nose into Captain Falcon's house…"

"SHUT UP, MELEE!" yelled Brawl, who had finally stopped crying.

"alright, let's get to business." Interrupted the captain. "why you need help? Who's terrorizing your life? Speak, and Captain Falcon, the man of justice, will get you out of your mess!" he boasted.

Brawl breathed a sigh of relief as he pulled out a picture of a primid. "have you heard or seen anything like this?" he asked.

Falcon put his hand on his chin. "nope. What is it, some child's painting?"

"it's called a primid." Brawl explained "they're the main meat of a army lead by Master Hand and Crazy Hand."

"Master Hand? Crazy Hand? I can't say I've heard of them." Captain Falcon shrugged.

"I'm not surprised." Replied Brawl. "let me tell you a little legend…"

A few minutes later…

"kid, that is one whacked out story you just told me… so what's it got to do with me?" asked the Captain.

"the names Brawl." Brawl retorted. "anyway, the reason I'm here is because You're one of the smashers. You see why you're needed now?"

Captain Falcon grinned. "great fighter? That sounds like me, all right. So you want to take me to your home planet so I can take down those hands?"

"not quite." Chuckled Brawl, as he took out his portal key. "rather, I'll be taking you to my home dimension."

The Captain stalled a little. "…dimension? Okay, kid, your story was good and all, what with god and giant hands and subutospace, but now you expect me to belive that you come from another dimension?"

"okay, go ahead and don't belive me. But if you don't…" Brawl used his portal key to make a portal appear in front of him. "…you'll have a hard time getting used to stuff like this."

Captain Falcon's jaw dropped. Eventually he mumbled "kid… what kind of person are you?"

Brawl smiled. "I'm Brawl. I'm a super smash brother. And for the record, I AM NOT A KID!"

* * *

well, that's it for this chapter. personally i think that the Ness and Captain Falcon sections are nowhere near as funny as the Jigglypuff bit. which is annoying, because it make the story feel unbalanced and less enjoyable. ah, well, i did what i can.

next time, we'll have Peach and Zelda join us! which means more emo MarioxPeach moments! see you guys later! bye!


	8. Chapter 7

Good morning, fanfiction! yes, once again, I have taken way to long to update, dispite the fact there's only two new characters introduced! this chapter i feel is more focused on drama then humour, so if you like LOLing every second, I'm sorry if i dissapointed you. hey ho, on with the show!

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* * *

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CHAPTER 7- A TALE OF TWO PRINCESSES

"Okay, people, this is Captain Falcon! Captain Falcon, meet Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, DK, Link, Kirby, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Samus, Fox, and Ness!" announced Brawl. "Man, that was one heck of a run-on sentence!"

To say that the smashers were rather disturbed by the man in blue spandex would be an understatement. Naturally, they could help but give the captain a lot of odd looks as he gave them a salute.

"Oh, joy." Samus spoke up. "A spandex-wearing ego. That's just what we needed."

"Madam, I can personally reassure you that Captain Falcon is not just some poser. As 54 times champ of F-Zero and expert bounty hunter, Captain Falcon has got moves to match his looks!" boasted Captain Falcon.

"What's F-Zero?" asked Link.

Brawl groaned, once again he would have to explain things. "Well, basically it's racing with anti-gravity machines that do over 5000MPH…"

"OVER 5000MPH?!? That's even more overkill than those "car" things!" exclaimed Link.

"Well, I don't mind him. He looks pretty tough." Said Fox. "And if he can handle speeds of over 5000MPH, he must have some pretty good reactions. Respect, Falcon, respect!"

"You're just on his side because you can't stand women being right." Samus grumbled.

"Perhaps you'd be more convinced if we had a demonstration." Suggested Brawl. "Melee, could you go get the sandbag?"

"Sure thing, bro!" replied Melee cheerfully, before running out of the room to find it. Soon, voices could be heard outside the room.

"HEY! What the hell do you think you're doing with sandbag?"

"Sorry, Mac, but Brawl needs it for a little while."

"But I was practicing! I was about to finish with an uppercut!"

"Well, Brawl needs it so Captain Falcon can show them his you-know-what."

"Captain Falcon's here? And he's gonna do the…"

"Yep."

"Now that's something I have got to see!"

Melee returned with a white sandbag with cute eyes painted on, followed by Mac, who seemed to get excited when he saw Captain Falcon.

Melee plopped the sandbag in front of Captain Falcon. "Okay, Captain, show them what you've got!"

"Alright, everyone! Watch carefully, because that sandbag is about to go flying before you can say "raptor boost!"" announced Captain Falcon, pumping himself for a fight.

"Booaasstteerr…" booed Samus under her breath.

"FALCON KICK!"

Captain Falcon shot forward with a fiery kick, sending the sandbag flying into a wall. As it rebounded, Falcon jumped up and hit it with the "KNEE OF JUSTICE!" which caused the sandbag to go flying back into the wall and rebound over the Captain's head. As it hit the ground, Captain Falcon jumped off the wall and finished off with his signature move.

"FALCON PUNCH!!!"

WHAM! The sandbag hit the wall so fast it stuck to it like a fly on a windshield. Captain Falcon saluted as everyone broke into massive applause. The only exception was Samus, who was clapping begrudgingly, and Brawl, who was staring at sandbag as it peeled off the wall, thanking Miyamoto that it wasn't him.

"It's the punch of the century! The sandbag's going to see the sandman after that pummelling!" cheered Mac, imitating a boxing commentator.

"…Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa…" said Pikachu, who seemed to be trapped in a perpetual cycle of amazement.

"Well… that was unexpected, even for a tough-looking guy like you." Admitted Fox.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" grinned Ness. "Why can't we have more guys like that? I want to learn how to do that!"

"It's no sweat for Captain Falcon!" boasted the Captain. "So what can you guys do? How about you guys show me your moves so I know who I'm working with?"

"Ooh! Ooh! Me first! Me first!" cried Ness, waving his hand like he wanted an ice cream.

"Sure thing ki- I mean Ness. Take your time!" said the Captain, stepping out the way.

"Okay, then…" said Ness, staring down the sandbag as Melee quickly shook it to get it all fluffed up again. As Melee dashed away from the sandbag, Ness opened with: "PK FIRE!"

What appeared to be a small lightening bolt shot out of Ness's hands and set the sandbag ablaze. This earned a few "ohh"s and "ah"s by itself, but Ness wasn't finished. With a "PK THUNDER!" (Why the heck didn't I include this move in the last chapter? I mean, it was in the title and all. Aw, never mind. Ed.) He used a ball of lighting to carry the sandbag high into the air. Cutting out of the PK thunder, Ness put his hands on his head and concentrated super-hard to do "PK FLASH!" as the sandbag started falling back down. A green ball of light floated wobbly out of his head over to the still-falling sandbag. As soon as the two made contact, Ness took his hands off his head.

WAK-POW!

The green ball of light exploded spectacularly, causing the sandbag to be flung towards Captain Falcon, who only just managed to roll out the way. Everyone cheered like crazy.

"Whoa, easy there, Ness! I don't want to be beat up by my own ally!" joked Captain Falcon. "For a kid, you've really got skills!"

"Thanks! I guess I did get a little carried away, huh? Sorry!" apologised Ness.

"Alright, who's next?" asked Captain Falcon.

"I guess I better get some practice in for my big role. Me next, please!" said Jigglypuff.

"Go right ahead, madam!" said Falcon politely.

"Why, thank so much, Mr Falcon!" smiled Jigglypuff as she approached the sandbag.

Jigglypuff stared down the sandbag. "I feel sorry for what that sandbag is about to go through." Admitted Kirby.

"I know what you mean." Agreed Melee. "That sandbag goes through so much, and yet we give it so little in return… (Sniff) godamm it, does nobody love sandbag?!?" he cried.

"Um… HIYA!" shouted Jigglypuff, leaping forwards with a ballerina's kick.

The sandbag fell over. Not exactly impressive, compared to the other displays of fighting skill.

Jigglypuff growled, picked up the sandbag, and took another shot, this time repeatly kicking it. Again, the sandbag fell over. Losing her temper, Jigglypuff dove the sandbag and pounded it repeatedly in frustration. Fox had to suppress a snigger.

Suddenly Jigglypuff stopped pounding the sandbag with a look of inspiration on her face. "I got an idea. Excuse me; I just need to take a run-up!" Jigglypuff told them as she quickly ran out the room.

"What is she doing now?" asked Link.

They got their answer as Jigglypuff rolled back into the room at an incredibly high speed and crashed into the sandbag, sending it careering out the room. Mac ran off to get it back. Jigglypuff jumped up and posed with a "TA-DA!"

Captain Falcon quietly coughed. "Very nice, Jigglypuff. Um, who's next?"

"Alright, let me show you a little something I've been working on!" announced Luigi.

"Sounds good!" said Captain Falcon. "Let's see it in action!"

Luigi crouched down next to the sandbag, and then suddenly jumped upwards in a punching move.

Sadly, it hardly even touched the sandbag.

"Ah… sorry, let me do that again." Said Luigi, embarrassed.

Luigi once again couched down and jumped, this time managing to move sandbag to move a little. Unfortunately, Luigi ended up landing on his head, much to the amusement of Pikachu. (Who had finally come out of his perpetual cycle of amazement, by the way.)

"No, wait, wait!" Luigi cried out in desperation as he got up. "I can get this right! Just give me another chance!"

"Sure thing, Luigi. Just don't keep us waiting all day, okay?" the Captain joked.

Luigi turned to face the sandbag and closed his eyes. "Okay, Luigi… you can do it… just concentrate…"

"HUIYAA!!!"

Luigi suddenly crouched down and jumped so fast, it was hard to even see his legs move. The result, however, was even more astounding: the sandbag was set on fire and was sent shooting upwards so fast it broke through the ceiling and disappeared.

Luigi dusted his hands off to much applause. "You see? It isn't useless. You just need to hit in the right place." He looked upwards towards the ceiling. "Wonder where it went?"

At this point, the sandbag promptly returned through the ceiling- and landed right on top of Luigi.

"Looks like you punched it a little too hard, Luigi!" laughed Pikachu.

"Aw, leave him alone. He can't help it if he gets unlucky every so often." Chided Mario, lifting the sandbag off his brother. "Luigi! Are you alright?"

Luigi groaned. "Yeah, I'm still alive, bro… Boy, my head…"

"YAY! Go sandbag!" cheered Melee. "Avenge yourself against them who dare attack your innocent bagginess!"

"Don't worry, Luigi." Comforted the Captain, slapping Luigi on the back. "You've got a load of potential as a hero, let me tell you that. You just need to get more focused on what you're doing.""

"Wow, thanks! Nice to know I have a fan!" laughed Luigi.

"No problem!" assured Captain Falcon. "Next, please!"

"Don't worry, L-man!" said DK, beating his chest. "I'll avenge you by whacking that sandbag into next week!"

"Um, guys?" said Brawl. "Could you mind toning down the sandbag beatings? Because I really don't anymore stuff to wind up-"

"BANANA SLAMMA!" roared DK, jumping up and slamming both his fists on top of the sandbag, resulting in it being embedded in the floor.

"…Broken." Brawl finished.

"Oops…"

The rest of the smashers had similarly amazing sandbag combos. Mario fried it with his fireballs, Link showed off his fine swordsmanship, Pikachu played keepie-up with it using lighting bolts, Yoshi actually ate it (much to Melee's distress, but thankfully it came back out again in a egg), Fox gave it the Jackie Chan treatment (read: over 9000 boots to the head), and Samus showed off the uses of her grapple beam to toss the sandbag like a caber. Brawl did not allow Kirby to beat up on the sandbag, as he had a feeling that Kirby was plotting to copy Falcon's punch.

Eventually, all good things come to an end, and Mac took the sandbag back so he could resume his training. "Good work, all of you!" applauded Captain Falcon. "I think with us working together, beating Master Hand should be a cinch!"

"Well said, Falcon." Nodded Brawl. "Now, could we get back to saving all existence? We can't all just hang around forever."

Link was about to retort, but then a voice came bounding trough the corridors. "OOHH LLIINNKK!!! WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Aw, crap! It's them!" panicked Fox.

"The crazy girls!" gulped Link.

Captain Falcon smirked. "Fangirl problems, huh? Have no fear, Falcon is here! You run for it while I give the old smooth talk!"

Fox and Link didn't even hesitate. "Thanks, Captain! Good luck!" shouted Link as he departed.

"Falcon, are you insane? They'll bury you alive!" gasped Brawl.

"Relax! I already have millions of fangirls. A few more won't hurt!" boasted Captain Falcon.

"Alright, it's your funeral… yike! Here they come!" yelped Brawl.

Meteor, Backstabber and Clean Sweep came in the room; looking around searching for the smashers they fancied so much. "Hey! Did you happen to see Fox or Link around here? We want to have their babies." Asked Backstabber.

Captain Falcon laughed. "Fox? Link? Why would you want to go out with them when can have the super-handsome super-sexy Captain Falcon instead?" he boasted.

The crazy girls did a double take, looked the Captain up and down, before simultaneously replying: "no thanks, we don't date gay people." And they walked by, leaving Falcon frozen with embarrassment.

"WH-WH- what? You think I'm gay?" stuttered Falcon.

"Um, hello? Spandex? Somebody's clearly trying to compensate for something." Said Meteor.

Captain Falcon stared at them as they walked off to find people to glomp. Brawl put his hand on the Captains shoulder. "Never mind, Falcon. Sometimes showing off manliness can create a lot of problems. This is one of them."

* * *

"Man, thank god the crazy girls didn't find us!" sighed Link, as Brawl and the smashers entered the mushroom kingdom by inter-dimensional portal. "Thanks, Falcon, I really owe you one!"

"(Grrr mumble mumble can't believe they think I'm gay how dare they I'm the hottest man in history according to heat magazine grr mumble mumble) huh? What? Oh, yeah, um. No problem." Muttered Captain Falcon.

"I can't believe we're back in Mario's world, again!" moaned Kirby. "Did Miyamoto have a preference for this world or something?"

"Dunno. But it's not like he gave you guys the power to beat Master Hand on purpose- he only foresaw who would have the power." Shrugged Brawl.

"So what makes us so special?" asked Fox.

"Your soul!" declared Brawl, raising his hands to the sky above. "When you guys fight, you put your soul, your whole soul, into defeating the enemy. You never give up! You never quit! You escape from situations where the ordinary man would break down and cry!"

"That's quite a compliment." Smiled Samus.

"It's not a compliment- it's the truth, Samus." Said Brawl boldly. "And even if you were knocked out, you would strive to get back up and face the enemy once more! Call it bravery, call it stubbornness, but you always fight for what you believe in with all your soul."

"Oh, look! There's a castle over there!" Jigglypuff pointed to a castle far off in the distance, which was near a large town. The castle had a pink roof, and had a small garden with lots of flowerbeds. It was clearly the tallest building in miles.

"Oh, that's-a Princess Peach's castle." Said Mario.

"Oh, you mean the princess that keeps getting kidnapped, the one you have to rescue from- was it Bowser? - All the time?" asked Link.

"Yeah, that's-a her. She's not-a stupid-a or anything, just… very unlucky at times." Explained Mario. "She really hates it. But she's a good girl, and she's always been a fair and kind ruler."

"What say we pay her a visit?" suggested Brawl.

"No thanks. I'm not that good with royalty. I'd rather go find the next smasher." Said Samus.

"In that case, we'd better go to the castle!" announced Brawl.

"…Huh?"

Mario's eyes widened. "You-a don't mean-a…"

"That's right!" declared Brawl. "Princess Peach is our next smasher!"

* * *

Mario… where are you?

That was the question the whole of the mushroom kingdom was asking. It was on newspapers, it was on Mario's answer phone, it was on the lips of everyone in toad town, and most importantly, it was on the mind of Princess Peach, as she gazed across her land, looking for a single glimpse of his moustache. She swore her heart leapt up everytime she saw something red, only for it to sink down again when she realised it wasn't Mario's hat.

He had only been missing for 6 hours, but seeing that he was the mushroom kingdom's hero, and he was supposedly off on an adventure, it was very worrying to find no trace of him at all anywhere. Usually, Mario would leave a trail of defeated bad guys and stomped goombas in his wake, but not this time. There had been sightings at DK isles, Yoshi's island and there were even rumours he had returned home to quickly pick up Luigi. Yoshi and DK had come along with him too, but nobody could find where they were. It was like they kept disappearing… and Peach was really, really, concerned about him. What was making him disappear again and again? And what if… the worst happened… and he never came back?

"He's still not been found, has he?" sighed Princess Peach, as she gazed out the window.

"No, Princess." Admitted Toadsworth nervously. "But rest assured, Princess, I am just as concerned about Master Mario as you are! Without him, Bowser could take over the kingdom with almost no resistance, and you would have almost no chance of being saved from his vile hands!" he ranted as he paced the room.

"I know." Peach admitted sadly. She never really liked to admit her inability to escape from her captor unaided. It just made her feel useless all over again.

"Who could possibly be behind Master Mario's disappearance? Could it really be Bowser? Maybe the X-naught have returned for revenge, or- good lord!" gasped Toadsworth. "What if they're planning to do a sequel to- horrors of horrors- "Mario is missing!"?"

"I don't think things will get that bad, Toadsworth." Peach smiled weakly. "I'm guessing he's travelling underground, and occasionally coming up to get assistance."

"But Princess, how would he get to DK isles? There's not a single warp pipe there!" Toadsworth pointed out. "And it certainly doesn't explain these new people that are following him!"

"They are somewhat unusual, aren't they?" said Peach, glancing to the pile of sketches on the table that had made by witnesses. (The sketches, not the table, fool. Ed.) "I don't even recognize what species some of them are."

"Indeed, Princess." Toadsworth nodded, holding up a picture of a pink blob. "I mean, just look at this! It looks like a pink boo with legs! What kind of environment would cause it to be so round, yet still have legs? It clearly came from a harsh vicious world where people eat each other alive!"

"I don't know… but it looks so cute!" giggled Peach.

"Princess…"

"Sorry, that was inappropriate." Peach bowed her head in shame.

"And what about these two outrageous individuals?" asked Toadsworth, holding up two pictures of two different humans. The first one was wearing a green tunic, and the second was wearing a white hat. "This first one clearly is a final fantasy nerd who needs to get a real job, and the second one- Ha! – I haven't been so outraged by fashion choices since you wore short shorts for the first time."

"Hey, I like short shorts!" retorted Peach. "They're comfy and easy to wear!"

"Ahem! Well, I'm sorry, Princess, but we would never have it back in my day." Coughed Toadsworth. "But back to the subject- just look at these two! Walking around with guns and swords- you could cut someone's hands off with that!"

"That would be the point of a sword, Toadsworth." Peach turned back to the window. "But either way, speculating over where Mario could be or what his new friends- if they are his friends- are is not going to help us find Mario."

"Indeed, Princess." Toadsworth sat down with his heads in his hands. "I'm just so frustrated about this whole affair. When that young man with the ridiculous fashion sense comes back with our master Mario, I swear I'll give him the spanking of a lifetime for his vile kidnapping ways!"

"I can't agree with you more, Toadsworth. (Apart from the spanking part.)" Whispered Peach.

Mario? Where are you? Please, if you do really need help, please come to me. I'll always be there for you. It the least I can do… for the man who's saved me more times than I can count…

God, I feel so useless, just standing around while you could be in danger. Please forgive me for that, Mario. If I rushed into things, I'd probably just make things worse, anyway…

Mario, please come back safely. I don't know what I'd do with you. Your strong arms… your dazzling smile… your manly moustache…

I don't deserve you… but even so…

I… I love you…

A sudden cheering erupted from Toad Town in the distance, causing Peach and Toadsworth to look up. "I say!" exclaimed Toadsworth. "What are they cheering about?"

Peach spotted a toad running towards the castle so fast he was leaving dust clouds in his wake. The toad quickly sprinted down the garden path and barged through the front door, accidentally knocking down the guards on duty in the process.

"Good lord! If that young chap is such a hurry he doesn't even say, "how you do" to the guards, he most have some jolly urgent news to tell us!" Toadsworth exclaimed.

The above-mentioned toad suddenly burst into the room. "Princess! I- it's- the- um…" the toad stuttered.

"Well? Out with it, lad! We haven't got all day!" ranted Toadsworth, poking the young toad with his walking stick.

"It's- its Mario! (Huff, puff) He's- he's back! (Gasp, wheeze) with Luigi and DK and Yoshi and everything!" panted the toad, who seemed to developed a cramp in his leg.

"MARIO'S BACK?!?"

* * *

"Man, you have got a lot of fans, Mario!" said Ness, as the smashers and Brawl dashed along the path to the castle. A few of the residents of Toad Town were following them, but they weren't being chased by a stampede of fandom. They had, however, just caused the whole of Toad Town to break out the champagne, fireworks, and whatever fancy stuff they had left in their closets for huge celebrations.

"That's what happens when you have a 10 year long career in world-saving!" joked Mario.

"I've been helping save the world for just as long as him, and I don't get any parades…" sulked Luigi behind his breath.

"Those mushroom people are kinda freaky… what are they called again?" asked Fox.

"Toads." Replied Brawl.

"Jeese. Poor guys look daft and have a bad name for a species as well." Said Fox.

"I wonder what caused them to evolve mushroom heads." Pondered Samus. "I guess back in the primeval age they used them to camouflage themselves from predators."

"I guess that explains their nervous and cowardly behaviour." Said Captain Falcon. "1000 years of playing hide and seek with the death penalty for the loser is enough to get anyone nervous."

They entered the castle gardens, where the toad guards were dusting themselves off after being knocked down by the messenger toad. "Not my day… huh? Hey! It's Mario! Where you've been, Mario?" said one of them.

"Is it true you're on another adventure again?" asked the other eagerly.

"Yep! I'm on-a another-a one again! As for-a where I've been-a… well, you-a wouldn't believe me if I told you!" laughed Mario.

"Aw, come on! Tell us!" pleaded one.

"Yeah! We'd never think you're lying! We'd believe every word you say!" begged the other.

"Well, I haven't got the time-a to talk about it right-a now, because-a I'm-a in-a bit of-a hurry. Could you-a let me-a and my friends-a into the castle-a? We need to see-a the princess." Asked Mario.

"Oh, sure! The princess been real worried about you! You better come in and see her." Nodded one of the toads.

"Don't mind if I do!" said Brawl, going through the double doors without hesitation. "Excuse me, but could you tell me where the princess is?" he asked the first toad he bumped into.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT, YOU VILLIANOUS CAD!"

"WHAT THE F-"

THACK!

* * *

"MARIO'S BACK?!?" yelled Peach in surprise.

"Yeah! And he says- (huff puff) he says he needs to see you, Princess!" puffed the exhausted toad.

Oh my... he wants to see me? He must have gotten worried about me… that's so sweet of him! Maybe he does have feelings for me after all!

No… that'll never happen. He's only a friend… and who would want a girlfriend that has to be rescued practically every day?

Still… he's back… oh, I'm so glad he's safe!

"Good lord! Master Mario is returning to the castle! I must welcome his return at once!" Toadsworth hurried out of the room at an impressive pace for a man of his age.

"Wait, Toadsworth!" called Peach as she ran after him. Oh, lord… why does he have to go in a panic about everything? And how the shroom does he run so fast?

Peach reached the stairs and- "Aah!" THUMP! She tripped over her own dress in all the hurry. "Oh, peachy…" she chided herself. "And I'm supposed to be the graceful one!"

Picking herself up and continuing down the stairs, she reached the double doors to the main hall, and she could hear some voices on the other side.

"Excuse me, but could you tell me where the princess is?"

"ABSOULUTELY NOT, YOU VILLAINOUS CAD!"

"WHAT THE F-"

THWACK!

"What in Twink's name is going on in there?!?" Peach asked herself, swinging the double doors open to reveal a peculiar spectacle. It was Toadsworth, walloping the life out of a teenager with his cane, which much to Peach's surprise, she recognized from the witness drawings she had been looking at just a minute ago.

"SO FIRST YOU KIDNAPP MASTER MARIO, AND NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO FIND THE PRINCESS SO YOU CAN KIDNAPP HER AS WELL? YOUR OUTRAGEOUS BEHAVIOUR ENDS HERE, YOUNG MAN!" roared Toadsworth.

THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!

"HELP! ANGRY OLD TOAD ALERT!" yelped Brawl in pain.

"Mamma mia! What's going on-a?" exclaimed Mario as he entered the room with the smashers.

"Master Mario! Perfect timing! The cad who kidnapped you is trying to kidnap our fair princess! Stop him and show him what happens to would-be kidnapers around here!" Ordered Toadsworth.

"Err, Toadsworth? He's not-a trying-a to kidnap the princess. And he didn't kidnap-a me either. Let-a him go." Mario explained.

"Really?" Toadsworth stopped thwacking Brawl and looked him in the eye. "Are you sure, Master Mario? He looks like a trouble-maker to me…"

"I'm not a trouble-maker…" winced Brawl. "I'm helping Mario, not kidnapping him…"

"Oh dearie me! I do apologize profusely!" gasped Toadsworth. "I suppose I did get carried away… shall I send a servant for some castor oil for your wounds?"

"Urrgh… no, it's okay. I've had worse times than this." Said Brawl, remembering the pummelling he got from a giant primid not long ago.

"It's ironic, Toadsworth, that you're the one who's causing the most trouble, of all people." Luigi joked.

"Toadsworth, I know you just want to protect me, but you're not the head of security." Sighed Peach as she descended the stairs to join him. "If it was a threat to the castle's inhabitants, the guards wouldn't have let him inside in the first place."

Toadsworth looked up. "Oh! Sorry, Princess. I will withdraw from making such a ruckus in the future." He bowed.

Peach approached Mario. "Mario! I'm very glad you and your brother here. It's always a pleasure to see you again!"

"Not a problemo, Princess." Said Mario, tipping his hat.

"It's nice to see you again, too, Peach! Woohoo!" said Yoshi, excited as always.

"Yeah, long time no see, Princess." Said DK.

"I have to say, I am intrigued by your new friends. May I ask who they are?" asked Peach politely.

"Oh, yeah, sure-a!" said Mario cheerfully. "This is-a Brawl."

"Unusual name isn't it?" asked Peach.

"Relax; I'm nowhere as aggressive as my name." Joked Brawl.

"This is-a Captain Falcon." Said Mario, moving on.

"Captain Falcon, at your service, your majesty!" saluted Captain Falcon.

"Oh, there's no need for that!" exclaimed Peach. "Just call me Princess."

"Whatever you say, Princess!" nodded Falcon.

"This is-a Fox."

"Ready for duty, Princess!" saluted Fox.

"At ease, Fox." Said Peach. "There's no need to get all worked up in my presence. Please, relax."

"This is-a Jigglypuff."

"Omigod I'm am just SOOOO honoured to meet you, your majesty- ack! I mean Princess! (Doh! You klutz! Right in front of royalty! There goes my image… oh, just keep together, for god's sake!)" Panicked Jigglypuff.

"Don't worry, Jigglypuff. We all make mistakes. Even I do from time to time!" comforted Peach.

"OMIGOD! Really? Aw, thanks! Who thought me and the queen- I mean princess- would have so much in common!" cheered Jigglypuff.

"This is-a Kirby."

"AAAWWW!!! HE'S SSSOOO CUUUTEEE!" squealed Peach, her girly side temporarily overriding her common sense.

"…say what now?" said Kirby.

"Umm… never mind." Coughed Peach, blushing with embarrassment.

"Okay… just don't start hugging me… please." Replied Kirby nervously, giving her an odd look.

"This is-a Link."

"It is a pleasure to meet a royal as beautiful as yourself, Princess." Said Link, bowing. Link did not know much about the strange new worlds he had been to recently (especially those damm "cars"), but he did know how to act in front of royalty- being friends with Zelda had certainly taught him that.

Mario and Toadsworth, feeling jealous and unapproving respectively, frowned at this comment, while Peach blushed madly. "Oh, my! Please, you're embarrassing me! But thank you for the compliment." Said Peach. "I don't really believe I'm that good-looking, mind." If I was, Mario would have said so… she thought in depression.

You don't know what you're missing… thought Mario, momentarily distracted by Peach's beauty.

"Mario? Are you okay? You seemed to have dozed off for a moment." asked Peach. "Are you tired? I can make you some tea if you like, you should really take a break more often…"

"Huh? No, no, I'm fine-a!" Mario shrugged, before moving on to the next smasher. "This is-a Ness."

Ness was staring at the finely painted walls of the castle before he heard Mario introduce him. "Huh? Oh, hi, Peach."

"It's Princess Peach, young man!" pointed out Toadsworth sternly.

"Its okay, Toadsworth. He can call me by my name if he likes." Peach smiled.

"Oh. Very well, princess… just trying to make sure people respect you, Princess." Coughed Toadsworth.

"Thanks, Peach. Say, you've good some pretty good painters." Said Ness. "Could you give me their number? I've been trying to get someone to paint Jimmy Hendrix on my bedroom ceiling, but nobody wants to do it, no matter how many times I ask…"

"Why, sure! I'll just…"

"Um, Ness, we've haven't got time to paint your ceiling with guitar heroes. Try to keep on the ball, please?" said Brawl, trying to cover up the fact that Ness's house did not exist in this dimension.

"Aw, come on! Jimmy Hendrix is awesome! This is the only chance I'll ever have to have a Jimmy Hendrix shrine!" begged Ness.

"Ness, I think you'll find saving the world is a lot more important than Jimmy Hendrix!" chided Link.

"That's what they all say…" mumbled Ness.

"This is-a Pikachu."

"Yo, Peach!" cheered Pikachu, somehow giving the "peace" sign with only one finger. Honestly, what were the laws of physics thinking, huh?

"OH MY GOD! PIKACHU JUST DEFIED THE LAWS OF PHYSICS!" Screamed Kirby.

**Just kidding.** Do you really think I'd let this story turn into one of those random-a-thons? Jesus, I'm not that retarded. But back to the proper story.

"AWWW!!! He's so cute too! He's looks like a Japanese teddy bear…" squealed Peach, her mind once again being taking over by cuteness.

"…"

"…"

"Um… sorry… again…" gulped Peach.

"I don't know whether to be offended or scared." Admitted Pikachu.

"This is-a Samus."

"He does look like a hardened warrior. Welcome to my castle, Samus." Said Peach, trying to give Samus some respect. Samus was currently wearing her power suit with the helmet on.

"Actually, it's a she." Said Samus, now taking off her helmet.

Peach gasped and clapped her hands over her mouth in embarrassment. "Oh, My! I'm so sorry- I had no idea you were a-" she spluttered, but was cut off by Samus.

"There's no need. The power suit does make me look like a man, I know." Admitted Samus.

"Did you really have to keep the helmet on, Samus? It's completely safe around here! Are you scared of the toads or something?" joked Fox.

"A bounty hunter is prepared for action at all times." Retorted Samus. "And besides, what if the pr-"

"Ack! Samus, no! We can't tell them that just yet!" Brawl cried. "Do you want to cause mass panic?"

"Tell us what?" asked Peach.

"What are you hiding from us?" demanded Toadsworth, immediately getting suspicious. "If it involves the princess, I demand to know!"

"Well… It's kind of a long story…" sighed Brawl.

"If it's a long story, how about you tell it over some tea and cake?" suggested Peach. "You look like you could use some."

"CAKE?" gasped Kirby in excitement. "Where? I want cake! I demand to have some cake!"

"I think we don' have much of a choice, knowing Kirby…" Pikachu rolled his eyes.

"I don't really like tea, but I'll have some cake…" agreed Brawl.

"Hmm… seeing as its tea, I'll settle with that." Nodded Toadsworth. "But you better tell us just exactly what's going on!"

* * *

"…and that's what's happened-a so far-a." finished Mario, finishing his tea.

"Yep, that's the whole thing in a nutshell." Nodded Brawl, lying back on a chair.

"Good lord! These primid chaps sound incredibly dangerous!" gasped Toadsworth. "I certainly hope they don't come for our beloved princess!"

"There's one thing I just don't get." Said Peach. "I thought Flipside was the only place where you could travel between dimensions…"

"Flipside? Oh, yeah, them!" said Brawl, standing up in his chair. "Well, they're nice people, but when it comes to inter-dimensional travel, they're kinda amateurs. I mean, they can only access, what, eight or nine dimensions… that's rubbish compared to smash brothers standards."

"Well, I'm glad you came!" announced Toadsworth, standing up. "In times like this, the Princess is in great danger! Master Mario, I implore you to protect Princess Peach until you defeat these evil hand chappies!"

"Toadsworth, no! We should be helping them find these "smashers", not wasting there time with bodyguard work!" Peach argued. "Mario, can I help you in anyway? Please, if you could use help, don't hold back!"

"You certainly can, Peach." Said Brawl. "Because one of these smashers we need to find is standing in this room right now."

Peach gasped. "You don't mean…"

"Yep."

"TOADSWORTH'S A SMASHER?!?"

Brawl fell off his chair in despair. (Poets FTW!) "NO! You are the smasher we're here for, Peach!" he cried as he got up again.

"…me?" whispered Peach in shock.

"THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!" roared Toadsworth, spitting out his tea in anger. "HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST THAT OUR FRAGILE PRINCESS GOES WITH YOU TO FIGHT AN INCREDIBLELY DANGEROUS ENEMY? IT WOULD BE FAR TOO DANGEROUS FOR HER TO FIGHT THE PRIMID, LET ALONE THOSE HAND CHAPPIES!"

"Who says?" argued Mario. "She's helped-a me on a few adventures, and from what-a I've seen, she's definitely not-a fragile! She is perfectly capable of-a defending herself!"

"Mario… I'm sorry, but Toadsworth has a point…" sighed Peach.

"Huh-a?"

"Brawl… you said the smashers are the best fighters in existence, am I correct?" asked Peach.

"That's right." Nodded Brawl.

"Well… I am not what you are looking for. If I'm one of the greatest fighters in existence, how come I keep on getting kidnapped and have to rely on Mario to rescue me? I'll never be strong enough to defeat Master Hand…" muttered Peach quietly in sorrow.

"Peach, don't say that! You're just not that experienced at fighting! Anyone would have trouble avoiding being kidnapped by Bowser! Even I was captured by him once! And then you saved me!" Persuaded Mario in desperation.

"But only because of the power of the vibes from vibe island!" replied Peach. "Face it, Mario. It doesn't matter you look at it; I'll never be a true fighter. …I'm just not strong enough."

"Peach…" Mario was about to try to persuade otherwise, but he was cut off by Brawl nudging him with his elbow and winking at him.

"Very well, Peach. I suppose you're right. There's no way a WEAK GIRL like you could possibly be independent, let alone a great fighter…" said Brawl in a patronizing manner.

"What did he just say?!?" gasped Toadsworth.

Peach glared at him. "Are you calling me a…"

"A DUMB BLONDE? Of course I am!" Brawl continued. "You clearly can't even add one and one together if you keep getting kidnapped! Perhaps it would be best if you stayed in the KITCHEN where you belong…"

"Oh no he didn't!" gasped Jigglypuff.

"You… you…" Peach was clenching her fists in anger.

"Aww! Is little Peachy having a temper tantrum?" asked Brawl sarcastically. "Well, you can huff and puff all you like, but you can't stop me saying what I like, because you're just a weak little g-"

SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!

"YOU! YOU SEXIST! YOU WILL NOT CALL ME A DUMB BLONDE! I'LL TEACH YOU FOR SAYING I BELONG IN THE KITCHEN!" yelled Peach, as she slapped the living daylights out of Brawl. Brawl tried to break free of the flurry of attacking hands, but Peach cleverly tripped him up. She picked him up by the collar and was about to clobber him with her crown, when Brawl did very disarming.

He smiled and said: "so what was that you were saying about not being a great fighter?"

Peach stopped. Brawl was smiling, but his battered face told the real inside story. "Oh… um… I suppose I did get a little carried away..." she admitted slowly.

"A little carried away?" Brawl picked himself up, clutching his head. "(Man, my head…) I don't about that, but I'll bet with moves like that, you handle a few primid no problem!"

"Master Hand would be in a wall of pain with you around!" laughed Ness.

"Yeah! Go team girlpower!" cheered Jigglypuff, doing a cheerleader dance.

"But… what if that was a one-off?" asked Peach nervously. "And why can't I do something like that with Bowser?"

"That's something I want to know." Muttered Samus under her breath.

"Peach, I have faith in you." Said Mario. "And I know you too well to even think you'll let me down."

"Peach, I know right now you don't think you're not that strong." Announced Brawl. "But you're still on my list either way. You must have done something pretty good to be on there. If you come with us, I'm sure sometime you'll discover you're stronger than you think." And he added with a wink: "and perhaps afterwards you'll come back strong enough to deal with Bowser by yourself!"

Peach stayed quiet for a long while, staring into Mario's eyes. Brawl shuffled his feet nervously.

Eventually she piped up with: "I'll do it."

"WOOHOO! Go Princess!" cheered Yoshi happily.

"PRINCESS! You can't be serious!" cried Toadsworth in horror. "It'll be dangerous! Who knows what horrible fate may happen to you!"

"I know, Toadsworth." Said Peach determinedly. "But I can't hide from this. The whole of existence needs me… And I don't want to see it fall into evil's hands. It's up to me to stop it!" she added, raising a hand to her chest. And I won't let Mario do all the work for once! She added in her head.

Toadsworth frowned. "Very well, Princess… but at least let an old man help you out." He dashed off quickly into another room.

"What's he doing now?" asked Brawl.

His question was answered as Toadsworth came back in the room with a large box.

"What's in the box, Toadsworth?" asked Peach, curious.

"This!" Toadsworth pulled out what appeared to be a horrified young toad.

"Man! It's already hard enough to be a toad without being stuffed into boxes! How could you, Toadsworth?" accused Fox.

"This is no toad, young man! This is a grade one self defence toad doll." Toadsworth told him proudly.

"How does that work, then?" asked Peach.

"Well, research has soon that bad guys enjoy nothing more than smacking the whatsit out of a poor defenceless toad. Sad, but true." Sniffed Toadsworth. "So when the vile villain sees this doll, they'll be unable to resist whacking it like so…" Toadsworth gave the doll a thump, and it sprayed some kind of spores out of its mouth. "And he gets a horrible surprise back! Cracking wheeze, what?" he boasted proudly.

"That is very clever, Toadsworth. Well done." Peach smiled.

"Indeed! Now let me present to you my old magic staff!" said Toadsworth, handing her his walking stick.

"Hey, I recognise that! Isn't that the thing you used to summon items for us in those mushroom houses?" asked Luigi.

"Indeed it is, Master Luigi!" nodded Toadsworth. "But it only makes turnips outside of mushroom houses, I'm afraid. Still, I'm sure it will some use to you on your journey, Princess."

"Thank you, Toadsworth." Peach turned to face Brawl. "Um... is it all right if I pack a few spare dresses for the journey?" she asked.

"Not at all." Brawl nodded.

"Thank you very much!" smiled Peach as he hurried off to pack.

"Mushroom houses? Magic? What's that all about?" whispered Fox to Brawl.

"If I told you, you won't believe me…" whispered Brawl back.

* * *

Peach opened her wardrobe and peered inside. "now which ones are my "war" dresses?" she asked herself as she looked at the line of pink dresses that all looked the same- but according to Peach, all represented a different mood.

"Let's see… happy… mourning… excited… ooh, should I bring the energetic one? No, that's for sporty days… determined? Yes, that'll be a good one… ah! Defiant! That'll be a good one for fighting! …and I'll finish off with confident! That's always a good one!" smiled Peach, taking out three dresses that were no different from the one she was wearing.

Peach was about to close the wardrobe, when she spotted out the corner of her eye her parasol. "Ah! I can't believe I nearly forgot my parasol!" she muttered as she grabbed it. Her parasol had always been useful to her- she could use it to glide over large pits even Mario couldn't cross, she could use it as a shield (Toadsworth, being slightly paranoid about the princess's safety, had made it practically indestructible.), and most importantly, it was an essential fashion accessory for her dress!

"Now where's my suitcase?" she asked herself as she rummaged through her drawers for her travelling bag. "Oh yes! In the top draw!" she grabbed the knob on the top draw (man, the sexual innuendoes we could have had if I hadn't added that extra detail!), but the draw would not budge.

"Drat! Come on! Open, you silly drawer…"

CRASH!

"Oh, Peachy!" she groaned, as she dug herself out of the pile of clutter that was in her drawer a few seconds ago. "That hurt… these golf clubs and tennis rackets could really harm someone if they got hit by them…"

A little light bulb clicked in her head. "Hey! If they hurt me that bad, they could be useful for fighting primid!" she promptly put them in her suitcase. She also grabbed her frying pan and put that in too, adding: "this should be pretty handy for fighting, too!"

And so she shut her suitcase and ran back to the main hall, telling herself: "I hope I haven't kept them waiting too long…"

* * *

"I'm ready." Announced Peach.

"All right then! Let's get back to the mansion, shall we?" said Brawl, as they all left the castle.

"Princess, please be careful out there! If something happened to you, Princess, I don't know what I'd do to myself!" begged Toadsworth.

"I'll be okay, Toadsworth! We'll be back before you know it!" smiled Peach.

"And with me and my bro around, the Princess will be safe as spaghetti!" confirmed Luigi.

"Hey, Toadsworth! Do me a favour, will ya?" Brawl asked. "Look after the mushroom kingdom while we're gone! If the primid show up, give a walloping with a cane like you did with me!"

"Indeed I will, good sir! Good luck with your latest endeavour!" saluted Toadsworth.

"Good luck from us too, Princess!" cheered one of the toad guards.

"Knock them dead, Mario!" cheered another.

"I will-a!" agreed Mario.

As they walked away from the castle, Brawl piped up: "I bet you're happy that your girlfriend gets to come too, hey, Mario?"

"Say what-a?" said Mario in surprise.

"Girlfriend?" asked Peach.

"Yeah, you two are a couple, right?" asked Brawl.

"Oh no! We're just friends! We're not romantically involved or anything!" explained Peach hurriedly.

I wish… like it'll ever happen…

"Um… yeah, what she said." Nodded Mario. "Very close friends."

Well, I guess that proves she doesn't want me… she was embarrassed just by the idea of it…

"Really?" asked Brawl, looking confused.

"Yep-a." replied Mario simply.

"Oh. Okay. Sorry for the confusion." Said Brawl, though he didn't seem quite convinced…

* * *

"Are you-a okay, Peach?" asked Mario concerned.

"Ow…" moaned Peach, rubbing her head where she just had her super-uber-effective translator chip fitted. "It does hurt badly, but I'll survive… thank you for asking, Mario."

"Hey, I gotta look out-a for my friends, haven't I?" laughed Mario; secretly wishing he could have used the word love instead. "Otherwise I'd wouldn't be-a much of a friend-a, heh?"

"And a good friend you are, Mario." Smiled Peach.

Meanwhile, Brawl was ticking off the list of smashers. "Hey, Link! Feeling homesick?" shouted Brawl.

"No. Why?" asked Link.

"Because guess where we're going next?" Brawl pointed to the portal with a grin.

"Well, it's about time. Hey, everybody! We're going somewhere other than Mario's place for once!" Link joked.

* * *

Hyrule castle town was always a busy place, but at the same time, it was rather tranquil, as the towns inhabitants always had a kind and friendly manner. (Except for a certain snooty few who tried to con people out of their rupees.) And through this noisy but content town, the smashers and Brawl walked.

As the town squares band played merry music, almost all of the smashers stared and pointed at the more unusual inhabitants. The Goron businessman, the zora fisherman, both provided much interest for the smashers unfamiliar with this world. Samus was fascinated with the Zora's ability to breathe on land and under water, while Fox was surprised when he discovered that – horrors of horrors- gorons eat rocks. ("Hey, Kirby! Looks like you've got another rival!")

Likewise, the town inhabitants gave the smashers some odd looks. Pikachu, Jigglypuff and Kirby were given some particularly odd looks, but as odder creatures had been seen throughout Hyrule, no one was really that bothered. Samus's suit also received attention, but Brawl simply told them it was just an unusual suit of armour. ("Sorry sir, this armour is NOT for sale!")

One thing that everyone did notice was that Link kept getting a lot of shout-outs from the inhabitants of the town. Everywhere he went, there always seemed to be someone who knew him, and they always wanted to give thanks for some work he had done earlier. Sometimes they would try to give him something, or invite him in for tea, but Link would politely turn it down. At one point he was even followed by a few fan girls- though thankfully they weren't as aggressive as the crazy girls.

Unfortunately, at the gates of the castle the town was named after, it was a little less friendly.

"Look, sorry, Link, but I can't let you in the castle without permission!" affirmed one of the guards.

"But we really need to see Princess Zelda!" argued Link.

"Well, I don't care!" shouted the guard. "It doesn't matter whether you're royalty or commoner, if we're not told to let you in beforehand by that lot upstairs," he pointed to the tower of the castle above, "You're not coming in!"

"I can't believe we're going to see yet another princess…" mumbled Captain Falcon.

"I know what you mean." Fox nodded. "First we have Mario's princess, now his. I swear, I will look at that list Brawl's got if things get anymore ridiculous!"

"Oh, I'm so nervous! I always get like this whenever I meet another royal…" admitted Peach quietly, hiding her crown in her pocket. Brawl had told her earlier that if the locals found out she was royalty, she may attract unwanted attention, and so she took special precautions not to stick out. "I hope we get on… If I mess up, I'll make the kingdom look bad, and I'll never be able to forgive myself!"

"I know how you feel," agreed Jigglypuff. "I never though I'd meet two princesses in one day… gosh, I'm so glad I took this role now!"

"This is getting really boring…" moaned Pikachu. "Can't we just sneak in or something?"

"Yeah. I'm glad I brought my yo-yo along, otherwise I'd be scaling those walls right now!" commented Ness, as he messed about with his yo-yo.

"Relax, Pikachu. I'm pretty sure Link knows what he's doing." Brawl replied. "He'll get us in the castle for sure."

"Look, just go tell Princess Zelda Link wants to see her!" Link told the guards.

"Ha! Hear that, Cedric? He thinks the princess herself will let him in!" laughed the guard.

"Ha! Good one!" guffawed Cedric. "Zelda's not stupid enough to let just anyone in, you know! Right, Derek?"

"That's right! She'll never let you in! No chance!" laughed the guard, who we now know to be Derek.

"You want to bet on it?" said Link seriously.

The guards fell silent. "You wot?" said Derek slowly.

"I said, do you want to bet money on it?" explained Link. "If Zelda lets me in, you have to give me 50 ruppees. Sound good?"

The two guards looked at each other. "No way." Cedric shook his head. "It's a trick. He knows something we don't. I can tell by the way he said it."

"I don't believe you. You're bluffing." Derek told Link. "I've never seen you go anywhere nears the princess, so there's no way she'll be friends with you."

"So it's a deal?" asked Link, smiling cockily.

"The bet is on." Agreed Derek. "Cedric! Go tell the princess about how Link claims to be friends with her."

"Alright…" sighed Cedric as he sulked off into the castle. "But I'm telling you, I've got a feeling that he's trying to trick us…"

* * *

Zelda was confused. When you have the triforce of wisdom, questions tend to be answered quickly or not at all. And when it's the latter, it tends to be a cause of alarm.

The question was: how does the triforce of courage simply disappear from existence?

A few hours ago, Zelda could sense where Link was, due to the links (oh, the irony) between the three triforces. A few seconds later, she could not. Link and his triforce had gone missing.

When a triforce goes missing, you panic. Whether you panic out loud or you panic inside does not matter, you just panic. It's the only option. Because when a triforce goes missing, that means you don't know where it is, which means someone doesn't want you to know where it is, which means they want to use the power of the triforce to do things they know you don't want them to do. This probably involves death for you, the world being cloaked in darkness for eternity or you being turned into a rabbit. Just for the sake of it.

Zelda, ready for the worst, told the guards to up security. She anticipated evil, evil great enough to strike fear into the hearts of the bravest men, and powerful to destroy Hyrule. But nothing had prepared her for what happened next.

A few minutes ago, Zelda could sense Link again. Link had come back.

Now the question was: how does the triforce of courage disappear off the face of the earth, and then come back, safe and sound?

And so Zelda had plunged into the royal library, looking for an answer to her question. One possibility was that Link had travelled to the twilight land, but the twilight mirror had been destroyed ever since Minda left and there was no other known way to get there. Link would have to be extremely determined to get there.

At this point, Zelda's mind wandered and thought about the possibility of Link and Minda being a couple, but she reminded herself she had better things to do than ponder over who dated who.

Another possibility was that a great darkness had temporarily severed the links between the triforces, but to do that, one would have to have enormous amounts of power, almost equal to the late Ganondorf. But if that was the case, she would have felt its presence building. So that was out of the question, then.

Zelda frowned as she put down the book she was reading. She had already buried the desk she was sitting at with books, and she still didn't have an answer. Of course, if she could just talk to Link, then the whole thing would be solved then and there. But the chancellors would not approve of her running out of the castle to talk to a commoner about things she couldn't really tell them about, so the only thing she could do was sit in a library while her brain slowly stewed.

She was about to pick up another book, when she heard somebody slowly enter the room.

"Your Majesty," said Cedric nervously, eyeing up the books with confusion, "a commoner in green is outside the castle gates and is asking for permission to see you."

"Is his name Link?" replied Zelda without delay.

"Yes, my lady." Said Cedric in surprise.

"Let him in, then." Ordered Zelda, standing up and brushing herself down. "Oh, and send for a servant to clean up these books, could you?"

* * *

"I'm telling you, mate, you've got no chance." Boasted Derek.

"Well, you wait till you're handing me your rupees, then try saying that." Grinned Link.

"Well, even if the princess does know about you, I doubt she'd let you in." replied Derek. "Our princess is smart, you see. She doesn't just let anyone in. If she did, who knows what kind of nasty work would get in!"

"I'll agree with you there, our princess certainly is wise." Agreed Link.

"Indeed she is, Nayru bless her." Derek took a glance at Kirby, Pikachu and Jigglypuff. "Say, what are those two… thingies? I've never seen anything like that before."

"Errm… They're… exotic pets from far off lands. I'm helping these guys deliver them." Lied Link spectacularly. Brawl gave him a thumps up.

"Gifts, huh? Personally I'd think her majesty would prefer flowers or something… still can't let you in though." Said Derek. "You should have said so earlier, then you might have had a chance of being let in. hah hah!" laughed Derek.

At this point Cedric returned with a frown on his face. "Ah, Cedric! What did the princess say? Did she laugh out loud or did she ask you to escort Link off the premises?" asked Derek.

"The princess said let them in right now." Replied Cedric bluntly.

"HA! In your face! I told you the princess wouldn't… wouldn't… WHAAA?!?" gasped Derek.

"All right! At last!" cheered Kirby, dashing into the opened castle gate along with the other smashers (and Brawl). Link stayed behind with the depressed Derek.

"Well… I'm a man of my word. Here's your rupees." Said Derek, handing over the orange rupee reluctantly.

"Thanks." Said Link, taking the rupee. "Here's a tip for being such a good guard." He gave the rupee back, much to Derek's surprise. "And remember, gamble responsibly! Don't make yourself broke!" shouted Link as he quickly followed the smashers into the castle.

Cedric looked at Derek with a smug look on his face. "I guess that'll teach you to keep your mouth shut…"

"Shut up, Cedric, or I'll put fleas in your armour again."

"So you're the bastard who did that!"

* * *

Through the many corridors and stairways of Hyrule castle, the smashers (and Brawl) were escorted by two guards, who we'll call Thompson and Thomson for the sake of it. The journey through the castle was not without event, as Ness, Pikachu and Kirby kept stopping to gawp at the many rooms of the castle, and Brawl would have to dash back to move them along. At one point they accidentally peeked into a room where a lady was bathing, which resulted in Brawl receiving a painful boot to the head. However, the author feels that there wasn't anything of special merit to truly write about in detail, and so we will skip ahead a little for the sake of your pathetic attention span. Hey! Come back here! Quit chasing that magic unicorn only you can see and get back to reading, you nutcases!

Eventually, after walking up some long stairs, they at last reached the throne room.

"Presenting her Majesty, Zelda Harkian the eighth!" announced Thompson and Thomson.

Zelda looked quite beautiful and authoritative at the same time. Her white and purple dress was fashionable and endurable, and her long brown silky hair had been tied into a long knot at the end to stop it getting in the way. The message was clear- Zelda lived like royalty, but worked just as hard as any common worker.

"Greetings, Link. It has been a long time since we did meet in the events of the shadow monster phenomena." Said Zelda.

"It indeed has been a long time, Princess. Has time been fair to you since I left?" asked Link, bowing.

"It certainly has been fair to the kingdom, and I am pleased by that." Zelda smiled slightly. "Guards, could you leave the room for a while? I have private matters to discuss with Link and his new partners."

"At once, your Majesty." The guards nodded and walked out the room, shutting the door behind them.

Zelda stood up from the throne and approached Link with a slight frown on her face. "Hero, I must ask what you have been doing recently. The triforces have been acting most oddly recently, and I suspect your travels may be the cause." She asked with a hint of agitation.

"I'm afraid, Princess, the answer is a long one…" Link explained.

"If it explains what caused the triforces to lose their connection, then I have all the time in the world." Retorted Zelda. "I have the triforce of wisdom, hero. I'm sure I'll be able to make sense of any statement you make."

Triforce of wisdom? What is she talking about? Fox wondered.

"Well… I had returned from another adventure and was going to return the master sword to the temple, when these two-" He pointed to Brawl and Mario- "Fell from the sky! When they got up, they took me to a place called the smash mansion, and they told me that an evil was threatening all existence. This evil is known as the hands, and only people known as smashers can defeat them. I am one of those smashers, Princess. And so we have travelled from many dimensions, looking for the other smashers. And that is why the triforces lost their connections temporarily, Princess." Link finished.

"So you have been to other dimensions?" Zelda muttered. "That would explain it. Sorry for not doing so earlier, but may I ask the names of your new partners?"

"Of course." Link nodded. "This is Brawl, Mario, Luigi, Peach, Yoshi, DK, Kirby, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Fox, Samus, Ness, and Captain Falcon." The smashers (and Brawl) shuffled their feet, trying their best not to look out of place.

"I see. They are quite a mixed group, I must say." Admitted Zelda. "I presume they are all smashers also?"

"Not quite." Brawl piped up. "I'm not a smasher myself, but the others are. I'm just here to make sure they don't get lost in the strange new worlds we visit."

"An inter-dimensional guide? That must be an interesting role." Commented Zelda.

"That would be one way of putting it, yes." Agreed Brawl.

"Well, you must be here for something to aid you on your quest to destroy these hands. I will assist with whatever you require." Zelda told them.

"Well… it turns out, Princess, you are one of the smashers we seek." Link told her.

Zelda stared at him with a surprised look on her face. "I am one of the people needed to defeat the hands?" the expression of surprise was washed away to be replaced by Zelda's concern. "Hmm… I see. The chancellors will not be happy about my departure, that I can be certain. But if all of existence is in danger, even Hyrule, then I can stay behind for no man. If myself is needed, I shall go. It is my responsibility as the leader of Hyrule. We should depart, post-haste!" she announced.

"Sorry to interrupt your post-haste, Princess, but shouldn't you get your sword? We shall have to do much fighting if we are to defeat the hands." Link advised.

"There is no time to go around fetching swords, nor is there any need. I shall fight with magic." Zelda told him.

"Magic?" questioned Samus.

"Oh, are you not familiar with magic? I guess from your reaction that you come from a world without magic." Zelda raised her hand, and made a small ball of sparkly light appear in it, before quickly making it vanish as a demonstration.

"That doesn't look like magic to me. It could have been PSI, like Ness uses." Said Fox sceptically.

"She isn't using her mind to do that, Fox. If she was, my scanners would have told me." Samus announced. "That's supposed to be physically impossible!"

"Hey! Could you use your magic to pull a rabbit out of a hat? I love it when that trick!" asked Kirby eagerly.

Zelda rolled her eyes. "That is not magic- that is merely the practice of slight of hand. This is magic." She put her hands together, and with a little concentration, a burning ball of fire did appear in her hands, somehow hovering in midair.

"Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!" gasped Pikachu.

"Fireballs! That's something you can always rely on!" said Mario, giving a thumps up.

I wish I could do that… maybe if I ask, she'll teach me! Thought Peach.

"Are you really sure magic alone will keep you safe, Princess?" asked Link.

"Well, I am travelling with the Hero himself, am I not? Plus…" Zelda lowered her voice into a whisper: "There's always Sheik."

"Sheik? I'm surprised you know how to do that… but that'll be worth seeing." Link grinned.

"Indeed. Shall we go?" asked Zelda.

"I don't think we need to hang around." Confirmed Brawl.

"We shall be off, then." They walked out of the room through the double doors. "Guards! Tell the chancellors that I am going on a diplomatic mission that is most urgent… Make sure they take proper care of Hyrule, will you? And make sure they don't try to find me, because I feel they're efforts will be in vain…"

* * *

well, that's it. I hope you enjoyed it. The next chapter will be called **_ICE TO SEE YOU, TO SEE YOU CLIMBING!_** You can probaly work what that's going to be about. Merry christmas, and until next time, to all a good night!


	9. OMIGODZ UPDATE! chapter 8 part one

Oh man. It has been WAY too long since I've updated, hasn't it? Christmas and a week's holiday abroad couldn't get rid of my writing block, sadly, but now at long last the next chapter is here! Even though it's really just half a chapter! But it's long enough to qualify for a whole chapter! Which is good! Yay! I like exclamation marks!

Um, yeah, so… just read the darn thing, and then moan at the annoying cliffhanger…

* * *

**CHAPTER 8 – ICE TO SEE YOU, TO SEE YOU CLIMBING!**

"Is it really necessary to insert this translation device using such a crude device as this?" asked Zelda, pointing at the hammer Brawl was holding.

"You know, I asked my parents the exact same question when I had it fitted at the age of five." Brawl pondered.

"What did he say?"

"Son, we've been fitting these things this way for ways. If we found another way to do this, our ancestors will end up looking like idiots. Give them some dignity and take it like a man, will ya?"

"Well, that's one way of putting it, I suppose."

Brawl nodded. "That's exactly what I said back then. Now hold still for a second…" Brawl swung the hammer, and the microchip disappeared into the inner regions of Zelda's head. "There we go! Just wait for the static to clear up and it'll be fine."

"Well, I suppose I'll won't have to take language lessons ever again." Commented Zelda after the static cleared up. "I can see much will be learned throughout this adventure… Perhaps even I will learn something. I just hope they don't end up being learned in a similar fashion to this."

"Relax. It's a hammer-free road from now on for you. I don't use this thing just for fun, you now!" Brawl joked.

"I'm glad to hear that." Said Zelda cheerfully. "So may I ask what kind of world we are heading to next?"

"Well, there's only one way to find out! (FIGHT! Sorry, just had to make a Harry Hill reference there. Ed.) Melee, the list!" Brawl announced. Melee promptly handed him the list. "Now let's see… Peach and Zelda are done, so next we have…" Brawl froze, and his eyes widened for some reason.

"What? Is there something wrong?" asked Zelda, trying to peer at the list herself.

Without warning, Brawl suddenly tossed the list over his shoulder and ran like a madman over to the microphone for the mansion's announcement system. "Ladies and gentlemen, put on your coats!" He exclaimed into the microphone excitedly. "We're going to infinite glacier!"

"INFINITE GLACEIR? ALL RIGHT!" cheered Melee, who ran off to his room, presumably to get his coat. Likewise, the cheers of the other smash brothers could heard, and it wasn't long before they all stampeded into the portal room en masse, and they all appeared to be excited about something. The smashers watched, bemused, not knowing why the smash bros were so excited about a glacier.

"Here's your coat as well, bro!" said Melee, handing Brawl's coat over to him.

"Thank you Melee! Now, let's get going!" Brawl cried, typing on the keyboard like crazy. "The portal will up in three… two… one!"

And with that, the smash bros rushed through the portal, into a world of snow and ice… and fell face-first into said snow with a sigh of relief, much to the confusion of the smashers.

"Umm… what exactly was that?" asked Fox, eyes wide.

"Oh, right!" said Parasol, lifting her head out of the snow. "You know that I said earlier that we never get any rain in the smash mansion, because the whole dimension is completely artificial? Well, we don't get any snow either, so this kinda special for us." She explained.

"You guys get no snow? Ever? That's gotta suck." Commented Ness.

"Speaking of sucking, suck on this!" shouted Saki, throwing a snowball at Ness.

SPLAT!

"Hey! No fair! That's cheating!" Ness was about to make some snowballs to get back at Saki, but Brawl intervened by pulling Ness back.

"Alright, alright, let's not lose sight of what we're here for." Announced Brawl. "We're here to get the next smashers, not to goof around. Fox, Kirby, Pikachu, DK, Yoshi, Jigglypuff, stay here, the rest of the smashers, come with me!"

"Aw, man! Ah, well, I can always throw snowballs when we get to wherever we're going." Shrugged Ness.

"Brr… can someone make a fire or something while they're gone? I'm not exactly dressed up warmly here." Asked Fox.

"I agree… (Note to self: buy mink coat…)" chattered Jigglypuff.

"Err, Brawl? Please, please, PLEASE can I come with you? Please?" said Mac, who appeared to be a little desperate to get away from something.

"Sure, Mac. Why so desperate?" asked Brawl.

SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!

A sudden barrage of snowballs suddenly buried Mac. "No reason…" mumbled Mac, who now looked exactly like a snowman.

"You cannot hide, Mac-san! You can only run!" announced Sakurai, who had somehow made a snow-fortress and a whole stockpile of snowballs in 60 seconds.

"Err… why, I think I'll come too, Brawl!" said Saki nervously.

"I see." Said Brawl, chuckling at master Sakurai's domination. "You wanna come too, Parasol?"

Parasol was sitting perfectly relaxed under her parasol, which shielded her from any attacks Sakurai pulled off. "I think I'll be safe, Brawl. Which is more than I can say for Melee…"

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" screamed Melee, running towards Sakurai's fortress with snowball in hand… before he was hit with enough snowballs to make him look like a snow-fortress himself.

"You know, Melee-san, when I said you can only run, I meant away from me, not towards me!" laughed Sakurai.

"…Well, gee, Melee, I would love to help you out, but as you can see, we really have to gooooooo!" yelped Brawl, as he narrowly avoided being hit by a snowball while he, Mac, Saki, Mario, Luigi, Peach, Link, Zelda, Samus, Ness and Captain Falcon scampered off to get away from the indomitable Sakurai.

"What a shame." Sakurai sighed as he idly juggled a snowball, eying up Fox, Yoshi, Kirby, Pikachu, DK and Jigglypuff. "Who's next?"

"Oh boy… we really are on thin ice…" gulped Yoshi.

"By the time this is over, I'm going to have one heck of a brain-freeze…" groaned Kirby.

* * *

"That was close." Muttered Brawl, as the group paced the snowy lands of Infinite Glacier. "Jeeze, how the heck did he get so good at snowball throwing? Did he practice in the freezer or something?"

"He's certainly had a top-tier training programme." Agreed Mac.

The long icy plains of Infinite Glacier certainly lived up to their namesake, as they appeared to go on forever. All around there was tall towering mountains, and the two most interesting ones were in the direction that our adventurers were heading. One of them was coloured a bright brilliant blue, and the other towered high into the sky. In fact, it appeared to be the tallest of the mountains that dotted the horizon. To the left, a blue ocean could be seen, and sometimes a large orange fish could be seen leaping out of its depths. At the bottom of the two mountains, the village that the group were travelling to could be seen.

"This place must be a mountain climbers dream!" commented Luigi.

"It is. Many a famous mountain climber has come from Infinite Glacier." Nodded Saki. "They claim the reason they're so go is because they consume loads of vegetables in their diet."

"Vegetables? You sure? This place doesn't look like the best place for growing vegetables." Captain Falcon pointed out.

"Maybe they like having their vegetables ice-crisp." Joked Ness.

"They get their veggies from traders." Explained Brawl. "And then they keep some in greenhouses. The things they can do with veggies are unbelievable."

"They certainly do sound like a hardy bunch, living in this frozen world." Commented Zelda. "I sure the next smasher will be very hardy indeed."

As this conversation was going on, Peach was getting concerned about Mario. "Mario, are you sure you're warm enough? Here, take my scarf if you need it!"

"Princess, I'm fine-a! I'm not-a gonna catch a cold anytime soon!" replied Mario cheerfully.

"Mario, for starters we're not in the castle now, so you can stop calling me Princess – just call me Peach! And secondly, you keep rubbing your hands- you've obviously got some freezing hands under those gloves!" Peach replied.

"Princess- sorry, I meant-a Peach, I've been through a lot of cold places on my adventures, and I've never needed a scarf. It's your scarf-a, you-a keep-a it!" Mario pointed out.

"And that's exactly why you deserve to have his scarf! Come on Mario, just take it…" Peach leaned over to put it around him, but then…

"AAHHH!"

"MAMMA MIA!"

CRASH!

…She lost her balance and slipped, causing her to take down Mario as well as she fell right on top of him.

"Oh my! Are the two of you okay, Peach?" asked Zelda, coming over to them to help pick them up.

"…" Peach blushed like a tomato, knowing that she was in a rather embarrassing position over Mario. "No! No! I'm fine, I'm fine!" she muttered frantically, pulling herself off Mario like a shot.

"Hey, Mario! I know its cold out here, but there's no need to resort to using other people's body heat!" joked Link.

"Very funny-a, Link." Grumbled Mario, his face as red as his hat as he got up. She was rather warm, though…Mario thought. I wish that kind of thing would happen more often… no! Don't even think about it! You can't have her! She's royalty!

"Are you all right, Peach?" asked Brawl, checking to see if they were all right.

"I'm fine…" muttered Peach, clutching her leg. "Just a little bruised, that's all."

"Well, at least we're at the town now. If you need band aids or something, we can ask around for some." Said Brawl, gesturing to said town.

The town was a little ramshackle, made up of cabins, shacks, a few greenhouses and the occasional igloo. But there was a sense of craftsmanship and pride in the air, which was emphasized by the sign boldly declaring: WELCOME TO POPSICLE TOWN.

"No… It'll go away on its own, thank you very much." Replied Peach, still blushing. That was more embarrassing than any kidnapping I ever had…

"Popsicle town… now there's a name taken straight out of a storybook." Mumbled Samus.

"Alright! Looks like a party's going on!" exclaimed Ness, pointing to a cheering crowd gathered around a large TV screen, which for some reason was connected to a large telescope pointed at the incredibly high mountain seen earlier.

"Good thing there is a party." Commented Saki, eying up the various snow-fortresses. "Otherwise we'd probably be completely covered in the white stuff by now."

"A party, huh? Well, you can't spell "party" without some of the letters in "Captain Falcon"!" Boasted the Captain, confidently striding over to the ecstatic crowd.

He's so full of himself it tortures me… thought Samus.

"I guess we might as well join the party." Shrugged Ness. "I hope there's jelly and ice cream!"

On closer inspection, the TV screen was currently showing a couple of mountain climbers climbing the mountain the telescope was pointed at. Despite how mundane this may appear to a normal earth inhabitant, the locals seemed to be enjoying it spectacularly. From one side, chants of "NANA!" could be heard. From another, roars of "POPO!" filled the air. But one chant united them all…

"ICE! ICE! CLIMBERS! ICE! ICE! CLIMBERS!"

"Sounds like Popo and Nana are the local heroes around here." Said Zelda. "I'm willing to bet they're the smashers we're looking for as well."

"Makes sense, I suppose." Shrugged Link. "You would have to be pretty tough to survive on the mountains, and I say that with personal experience."

"Hey, check out the TV! There's a fight going on!" Ness shouted.

Sure enough, on the screen the ice climbers could be seen fighting against a polar bear wearing purple shorts and sunglasses, which apparently not too pleased about the two passing through his patch. But the ice climbers showed no fear of the bizarrely dressed brute, much to the delight of the crowd. The two Eskimos span round like a pair of spinning tops and flung themselves into the bear like a drill. The bear toppled, and with a jump and a slam of their mallets the ice climbers conked him out. The crowd roared.

"Wow. Looks like those two make a great team." Commented Luigi. "And they've got a really good vertical jump there."

"It's almost like they were made to climb mountains, isn't it?" said a near-by member of the crowd wearing dark blue. "It makes my mind spin to think that those two can climb mountains quicker than me and my wife ever could, without even trying."

"You-a know them?" asked Mario.

"Know them? I'm the farther of one of them. I'm Pogo." Pogo raised a gloved hand to shake with the Mario bros. "I take it you're travellers, seeing that you're standing out like a sore thumb wearing those kind of clothes."

"Well… we sure are a long way-a from home." Admitted Mario.

"COME ON POPO!!! GET UP THAT MOUNTAIN!!! WOOOO!!!" shouted a surprisingly loud woman in light blue.

"Excuse for a minute." Said Pogo, before talking to the loud woman: "Pata, dear, could you calm down? There's no need to shout that loud."

"NO NEED?!? THERE'S ONE HELL OF A REASON TO SHOUT- OUR SON IS GOING TO BE THE FIRST PERSON TO CLIMB HIGHSCORE MOUNTAIN EVER! THAT'S SOMETHING TO SHOUT ABOUT, IN MY VEIW!!! WOOOO!!!" yelled Pata.

"Okay dear… just… take it easy on the beer, okay? We don't want to set our son a bad example." Asked Pogo.

"OF COURSE WE DON'T, DEAR!!! WOOO!!!" yelled Pata again, wondering off to buy some burgers.

"Sorry about that. She's always been a bit of a party animal." Explained Pogo. "So what are a bunch of guys like you doing in a place like this?"

"We're just passing through." Lied Luigi. "So how did those two get so good at climbing mountains?"

"I don't really know. I guess they were born with it, really." Said Pogo after a moment's thought. "One day we went over to Nogo's and Nata's house -they're Nana's parents- and we had some coffee while Popo and Nana played outside with a ball. Suddenly, we heard a thumping on the roof, so we went outside, and guess what was up on the roof?" Pogo told then.

"The ball?" guessed Mario.

"Not just the ball- Popo and Nana were up there as well!" Pogo continued excitedly. "We were going to get a ladder to get them down, but they just jumped down like it was nothing! So Nata, being the safety-conscious one, starts giving them a lecture, when Nana realises she's dropped her doll up there. Next thing we know, the two of them have leapt up onto the roof in a single bound, and start looking for it! We were awestruck. And that's when we learned of Popo and Nana's incredible jumping abilities."

"Wow! I've never heard of some jumping that high before!" lied Mario, knowing full well he could accomplish the same feat easily.

"I know, it surprised everyone… Hey, Nogo! How's the party going for you?" Pogo called out to a couple in red. Nogo was in dark red, while Nata was in light red.

"Oh, I'm enjoying it quite well myself," said Nogo, "But the wife's getting herself worried again…"

"Are you sure Nana's going to be safe? How are they going to get down? Oh, I can't watch…" moaned Nata, turning away from the TV screen in fear.

"Dear, Nana and Popo just took out a polar bear, just like they did when they first climbed Icicle Mountain!" Nogo put a hand on his wife's shoulder. "If they can do that, then I'm sure they'll be able to get down safely!"

"Are you sure?" asked Nata. "We should be prepared…"

"He's sure, and I'm pretty confident as well." Assured Pogo. "Look, they're almost there! They'll get there in a few jumps!"

"HE'S RIGHT!!! THEY'RE GONNA MAKE IT!!!" shouted Pata, returning with a burger. "COME ON, MY BOY!!! DO IT! WOOOOOO!!!!"

Indeed they were. In fact, there were only 5 jumps to go…

"Well, I have to say, with skills like that, the mountain had no chance-a." admitted Mario.

4 jumps to go…

"Those two could climb Snowpeak with both hands tied behind their back!" Link exclaimed.

3 jumps to go…

"NANA!" cheered Peach, who had started to admire the Eskimo in pink.

2 jumps…

"POPO!" cheered Ness, joining with the excitement.

Just one jump…

"ICE! ICE! CLIMBERS!"

Popo landed dead square on the top of the peak with a gymnast finish, and Nana landed the exact same way right next to him. The crowd reached a crescendo, fireworks went off, and even the smashers couldn't help but give a round of applause for the climbing duo as they planted a good old big flag on the top of the "unconquerable" mountain.

"THEY DID IT!!! THEY DID IT!!! THEY'VE MADE MOUNTAIN CLIMBING HISTORY AGAIN!!! WOOOOO!!!!!" screamed Pata in joy.

"Now that's my boy! You show them! You show them!" grinned Pogo wildly.

"Oh, thank goodness! Good girl! I'm… I'm proud of you!" said Pata.

"Amazing... simply amazing… and to think, they did it at just seven years old, too!" sniffed Pogo in happiness.

"Well, give them my congratu… wait, WHAT?!?" shouted Luigi.

"THEY'RE ONLY-A SEVEN YEARS-A OLD?!?" yelled Mario in surprise.

At that point, the tele-camera zoomed in to show on the TV screen to reveal the duo were indeed young parka wearing children as they waved cheerfully to the crowd below. The smasher's jaws dropped.

"THEY'RE CLIMBING MOUNTAINS AT THE AGE OF SEVEN?!?" gasped Link. "That's… that's incredible for their age!"

"I don't believe it!" said Captain Falcon. "First Goroh's kid shows up at the F-Zero grand prix, and now this? Is there nothing that kids will stay out of these days?"

"Aw, you just jealous cause you're old!" retorted Ness. "Team junior for the win! Yeah!"

"Sending children to climb mountains? Isn't that a little… barbaric?" asked Zelda.

"I don't think they were forced up there, Zelda. The people here seem too nice to do that." Said Peach. "I think those two are up there because they wanted to climb it."

"I have to say, those children's parents have guts to let them do that. But setting trails is a good way to bring up a strong child." Said Samus.

"Are you sure? Doesn't it put pressure on the kids?" Zelda pondered.

Samus let herself smile a little as she thought back to her chozo childhood. "Maybe. But the child will be grateful for it later in life."

"Didn't you know they were children?" asked Pogo, confused.

"I thought they were-a teenagers at least…" admitted Mario.

"Ha! Guess you guys really are travellers! Anyone who's anyone knows Nana and Popo are kids!" laughed Nogo.

"Yeah, I guess-a… excuse me, I have to talk to someone-a." apologized Mario. "BRAWL! Where are-a you?"

* * *

Meanwhile, on the top of Highscore Mountain…

"WE DID IT! YAAAY!" cheered Popo, jumping around the flag they planted in the mountain in excitement.

"Papa said if we got up here, we'll get in da gin-ness book of rek- reck- records!" said Nana excitedly. "And we did! We're champ-pee-ons!"

"You mean champions!" Popo corrected her.

"Oops! Sorry! We're champions!" Nana repeated, correcting her mistake. At seven years old, Nana and Popo hadn't quite perfected the art of speech yet. (But at least they were better spellers than most fan fiction writers around here. You know who you are. I'M WATCHING YOU.)

"And when we get home there'll be a big parade and loads of veggies and our parents will go "hooray!" and… and…" Popo slowed down as he fumbled for a way to finish his sentence, finally settling with: "…And it'll be all happy and stuff!"

"YEAH!" Nana high-fived her best friend, dancing around singing: "IT'S DA BEST DAY EVER!" in the cute but slightly annoying voice that only a young child could pull off. She skidded to a halt, however, the instant she looked up at the night sky.

"Ooh! Star-ies!" she cried happily.

Above in the night sky, the "star-ies" shone brightly, in all the colours of the rainbow, as the northern lights hung round them like velvet curtains round a masterpiece. Nana had loved staring at them ever since her dad had taken her to see them from a small hill, and ever since she had been interested in climbing higher to get a closer look. Nana stared once more, hypnotised by the many colours above.

WHAM! SMASH! BLAM!

Nana was jolted out of her trance by the sudden noise. Turning round, she found Popo hitting with his mallet what was once a large icicle, but was now to flat to recognise. "What you doing?" asked Nana curiously.

"I got an idea to get down real fast!" Popo puffed. "Help me out! We'll be home in no time!"

* * *

"Aw, come on Mac, let me have just one beer! Come on, just one!" begged Brawl, as he was dragged away from the bar by Mac and Saki.

"Sorry, Brawl, but you're supposed to be protecting the smashers, not getting drunk!" Mac complained.

"What? Can't I just have a little bit of fun while we wait for the ice climbers to get off the mountain? I'm not the kind of guy who just hangs around with his hands in his pockets!" Brawl moaned. "I'm 18! I can drink responsibly!"

"You're also the kind of person who gets drunk on one glass, Brawl." Retorted Mac. "Face it; you're a featherweight with alcohol!"

"Yeah, remember when you managed to get some cider off Ambler, and ended up trying to build a water feature in the garden, in the middle of a flower patch?" Saki added.

"Don't remind me," sighed Brawl. "Hester's trowel is one heck of a pain of a torture instrument. I couldn't feel my legs for days…"

"BRAWL! There you are!" shouted Link as he and the Mario bros approached the trio. "I think we need to have a little chat…"

"What? What did I do?" asked Brawl. "Don't tell me you're against me having a drink too…"

"Why…" Link grabbed him by the shoulders, "…Didn't you tell us…" he pointed at the massive TV screen, where a picture of the ice climbers was being shown, "…ABOUT THIS!?!"

Brawl stared blankly at the screen. "Um... yeah, those two are smashers. What's so bad about that?"

"But they're children! Why didn't you tell us they were children?" asked Luigi in despair.

"Well, up until now, you've never had believed me if I told you!" Brawl pointed out.

"That's true, come to think of it…" admitted Link.

"But we've just made-a ourselves look like-a fools in front-a of their parents! You could-a at least have tried-a tell us!" groaned Mario.

Brawl scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Alright, I'm sorry, but I can't explain everything in advance. Sometimes the only way is to see for yourself."

"Well, just let me ask you one thing- it doesn't get anymore weirder than this, right?" asked Link.

"Errr… Well…" Brawl gulped. "Hey, is that the ice climber's parents over there? We better have a chat with them about Master Hand…" Brawl promptly ran off.

"HEY! You didn't answer the question! Come back here!" shouted Luigi, as him, his brother and Link ran after Brawl.

"Brawl has a real tendency to end up being chased, doesn't he?" said Mac.

"You bet." Agreed Saki. "Who knows how he manages to clean it all up at the end of the day…"

Suddenly, there was a collection of gasps and cheers from the crowd. "WOAH! Check out what the ice climbers are up to now!" yelled Ness, pointing at the TV screen.

"What the…" Samus watched as the two Eskimos somehow descended the mountain at high speed. "Are those two… Snowboarding?!?"

* * *

Meanwhile, back on Highscore Mountain…

"Wheee!" cheered Popo, as he rode down the mountain on an improvised snowboard made out of a flattened icicle. "Best sledge ride ever!"

"Look at me! I'm doing a 1080 indie!" shouted Nana, even though she only did a normal 180 jump.

The duo slipped and slided downwards, dodging icicles, apologising to all the seals they scared, pretending the smallest jump was really 5000 feet, until they finally neared Popsicle Town.

"We're nearly there!" exclaimed Nana in excitement. "We're nearly there!"

"Let's surprise them with a big finish!" shouted Popo.

"Yeah!"

Conveniently, a row of trees in front of them had fallen over, and now formed the ramp where the two kids were about to perform their "big finish".

"On the count of three, we jump, okay?"

"Okay!"

"3… 2… 1… JUMP!"

* * *

"They're snowboarding now? Is there anything that these kids won't take a shot at?" asked Captain Falcon.

"Oh, noooo! Please don't crash, please don't crash, please don't crash…" worried Nata.

"Calm down, dear. I'm pretty sure they know what they're doing… though I do wonder why they didn't just climb down normally…" muttered Nogo.

"Kids these days, huh?" joked Pogo. "We may have to have a little talk with them afterwards…"

"Aw, let them be! They've just climbed a mountain, for crying out loud!" said Pata, her voice being something other then loud for once. "I'd take the easy way down too if I was there! THAT'S MY GIRL!!! WOOOO!!!" she yelled, resuming her normal loudness.

"Ears… Hurt… So much…" groaned Link, putting his hands over his ears.

"Wow! This is like 1080: Avalanche, except with Eskimo's!" Ness grinned. "I gotta ask mum to let me go on a mountain holiday sometime. Snowboarding is awesome!"

Everybody suddenly took a sharp draw of breath as Nana narrowly avoided hitting an icicle. Nata covered her eyes and whimpered, and Nogo put his hand on her shoulder to calm her down.

"I'm surprised they're doing so well for a couple of children. I wonder if they've gone snowboarding before?" Peach pondered out loud.

"I don't think so. Snowboarding is easy to get the hang of, as long as you have good balance." Said Link. "I've done it before myself."

"You've been snowboarding? Hero, you truly have seen all of Hyrule." Said Zelda in astonishment. "One day you must tell me the true story behind your adventures."

"Hey, wait a second… they're heading for those fallen trees a bit fast…" Captain Falcon pointed out. "Do you think that they're planning to jump off it?"

"Whoa! Stop! Don't do that! What do ya think you're doing! HEY!!!" panicked Pata, her concern for her child finally kicking in.

"That ramp isn't high enough! They're going to crash into the back of the TV screen!" realised Pogo.

"Holy Miyamoto, he's right!" shouted Brawl in horror.

"OH, NO!!!" It was all too much for Nata, and she instantly broke down into tears.

Nogo ran from his wife's side and shouted to her "Stay there! I'll try to catch them, or at least keep them from skidding into the TV screen!"

"Good idea!" agreed Pogo, following him.

Brawl silently gestured to Mac and Saki, and they too followed. The smashers, not ones to simply sit in a crowd and watch, ran to help out, all hoping they weren't too late…

"WHEEEEE!" yelled the two children, as they flew through the air with the greatest with ease. They grinned as they felt the wind blow at their faces and saw the world below pass by like clouds.

They quite sensibly stopped grinning when they realised that their improvised snowboards no longer connected to their feet, and had hit the ground without them. So their next action was also quite sensible.

"WAAAAAA!"

Back at Popsicle Town, our heroes heard the distressed yells of the ice climbers, promptly muttered a few choice swearwords (except Peach, who simply muttered "Oh, fluffy bunnies!") and increased their running speed. For a second it looked like they weren't going to make it, but thankfully for them they arrived just in time…

SPLAT!

…To see Nana and Popo land in very conveniently placed pile of snow. Unluckily, their soft landing covered pretty much everyone in the area with a white sheet of snow, much to Mac's dismay.

"The snow really likes you today, hey, Mac?" joked Saki, who had been fast enough to dodge behind Mac and avoid being coated in the white stuff.

"Shut up before I dunk you in the snow pile." Muttered Mac.

"Well, at least they're safe." Pogo sighed with relief. "Somebody get a shovel, so we can dig-"

At that point Pogo was interrupted by the two friends jumping out of the snow pile and sliding across the ground on their knees, complete with jazz hands and a big "TA DA!" Much to Mac's delight, the resulting movement of snow ended up right on top of Saki.

"Oh, thank goodness you're safe!" shouted Nata, as she ran round the corner with Pata.

"Popo! Good to see ya safe you little tyke!" laughed Pata, keeping her voice down for once.

"MAMA!" shouted Nana and Popo simultaneously and immediately ran to their respective mothers to embrace them in a big hug.

Nogo chuckled to himself. "I guess Popo is really a mother's boy at heart." He joked.

"And I thought your girl was a tomboy." Laughed Pogo. "Come on, let's go congratulate them." Pogo turned to go.

Nogo also turned to go, stopped, and looked at the smashers and co. "Hey, you guys! Thanks for trying to help out. I appreciate the effort."

"Um… no problem-a." said Mario.

There was a shout, and Nogo looked round to see Nana calling him. Popo was now in his father's arms. "Oh! Gotta go!" and so Nogo ran off to leave the smashers and co. to watch him go in a snowy silence.

"So, now that we've got ourselves covered in snow, what do we do next?" asked Samus, a little bit of annoyance in her voice.

"I guess we follow them." Said Brawl, as they started brushing off the snow off themselves.

"I guess karma really does exist after all, eh, Saki?" joked Mac.

"Shut up before I shove YOU in the snow pile."

Like any self-respecting town made mostly of log cabins, the party was celebrated in the saloon bar. And like any self respecting party in a saloon bar, it had singing, dancing, drinking, no food despite having plenty to drink, and the band that always shows up at these kind of parties. (You know, the one with the banjo and the accordion. You must have least run into them once at a wedding reception. You know, those guys!)

Ironically, the ones who had caused all this celebration (and the victory parade preceding it) were not on the dance floor, at the centre of attention, but were at the back of the bar, slurping happily at vegetable soup.

"This is one hell of a party, all right." Said Captain Falcon. "And to think this is all for a couple of seven year olds."

"Hey, Brawl, mind if I join in with the partying?" asked Ness.

"Sure." Brawl nodded. "But I might need you later, so don't wonder off, okay? You guys can go have fun too if you like."

"Okay!" said Ness, with his famous head nod, before running off to hunt for jelly and ice cream.

"Sounds like a plan. I don't mind a good party myself." Link grinned.

"Great! I love dancing!" Peach promptly made her way to the dance floor.

"Hey, Peach! While you there, give Mario a few dancing lessons! He definitely needs some!" laughed Luigi.

"Hey! My-a dancing isn't that bad!" snapped Mario.

"Bro, your dancing could be mistaken for a sign of madness. It's that bad!"

"Oh, I'll show you-a! I'm gonna get on-a that dance floor, and I'll give-a them a performance to remember!" declared Mario, as he boldly made his way onto the dance floor.

"Oh, dear god, no…" groaned Luigi. "This is going to get worse before it gets better…"

"Thank you for the soup, Mama and Papa!" said Nana and Popo at exactly the same time.

Nata pulled her daughter into a hug. "I'm glad you're safe. You really got me worried when you were up there. Promise me you'll never go snowboarding again, okay?"

"Of course, mama!" Nana agreed cheerfully.

"Hey, I think they did rather good out there! There's no need to ban them from snowboarding all together! They just need supervision, that's all." Pata said.

"Does that mean you'll pay for lessons, than?" asked Popo with a sparkle with his eye. When Popo spotted a chance for something adventurous, he went for it.

"Oh no you don't! If you want to go snowboarding, you'll have to pay for your lessons with your pocket money. You may be a hero, but you're still my son!" exclaimed Pogo.

Popo's head dropped as a sign of sulky-ness. "Aww…"

"He's a sneaky little one, isn't he?" chuckled Nogo. "They're both smarter than they let on sometimes."

"That's something you can't deny about them- they're always more than meets the eye." Pogo agreed warily.

"Excuse, are you the parents of Nana and Popo, AKA the infamous ice climbers?" said a voice emerging from the crowd.

The two families looked round to see a young man in a white hat and what they presumed to be an odd tattoo on his right arm extending said hand for a handshake. Behind him were a blonde spiky haired boy and a rather short black haired boy who was wearing boxing gloves for some reason.

Nogo quickly recognized him. "Oh, you're one of the guys who tried to help us out earlier ago!"

There was a quick handshake, and Nana and Popo looked at them with interest. "The name's Brawl, and these guys are Mac and Saki…" Brawl began.

"Hi, Mr Brawl! Hi, Mr Mac! Hi, Mr Saki!" the ice climbers suddenly cheered loudly, taking Brawl by surprise, and causing their parents to chuckle loudly.

"They tend to do that a lot." Admitted Nata. "They're very polite. Sometimes they'll refuse to say other people's names without adding Mr or Mrs at the front. They even do it with children…"

"Right. Gotcha. Anyway, I'm here to talk to you about your children…" Brawl continued.

"Ah! I see! You want to ask about the story of how they first climbed Icicle Mountain, right? Everyone loves to hear that one." said Nogo cheerfully. "Practically everyone who comes here ends up asking about it."

"Err… no. I'm here to talk about your children's abilities." Brawl replied honestly.

Brawl was immediately met with four aggressive glares, and the ice climbers suddenly looked extremely nervous. "My friend… If you are yet another agent from some advertising company who wants to use our children for some kind of publicity stunt, I'll have to ask you to leave." Growled Pogo quietly and slowly.

"Our children will NEVER be sucked into the media circus, you hear! NEVER! I won't let you!" cried Nata, instantly grabbing Nana into a protective hug. Pata did the same, and Nogo simply cracked his knuckles. Mac nearly tried to imitate him back, but Saki managed to pull him back before fists were thrown. Clearly, a few others had tried to use the ice climbers for there own gain, and their parents were not too happy about it.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm not here to do anything here to do anything nasty! It's just that… well…" Brawl deliberated. "What would you say if I told you your children had to save the world from a pair of oversized gloves?"

Upon saying the words "save the world", Nana and Popo's faces lit up in curiosity. Pogo, not noticing this, simply said: "I'd say you've had a bit too much to drink, pal!"

"Well, unfortunately, this is not the case, I'm afraid. I have not drunk a single drop of alcohol today." Brawl replied.

"Though he did try to, believe me." Saki chuckled.

"Yeah. Right. I'm sorry, but telling me the children are being taken away to fight a pair of "evil" gloves doesn't quite cut it." Snapped Pata. "Look, we're good honest people, so if you could do the same, maybe we'll get somewhere."

"She's got a point. Evil gloves does sound a little silly, even if they threaten tall of existence." Mac whispered.

"Then we'll just have to make it sound less silly." Brawl whispered back, before turning his attention back to the ice climber's parents. "It's all true. It's written in legend…and so are your children's adventures."

Nogo exchanged a "what did he say?" glance with his wife, before saying: "That's a little melodramatic, isn't it? I can see how two young children climbing a mountain by themselves would make good story material, but don't a few years have to pass before a story becomes a legend?"

"What I mean, my good sir, is that your children's incredible abilities and their adventures were predicted long before they were even born. Heck, your grandparents hadn't been born yet, but Miyamoto himself predicted it, and I'll be dammed if he got a single bit wrong!" Brawl announced a little too passionately, without remembering that the ice climbers probably had no idea who Miyamoto was, or why it had caused Brawl to start making dramatic hand movements. Naturally, all were a little creeped out by this behaviour.

Except for the now-excited Popo, who was clearly in the mood for legends and bad guys and general larking about. "WOW! I'm a ledge-and-airy hero? That's amazing! That the best thing ever!" he shouted, standing up on his barstool. Pata quickly got him to sit down again before he did himself a mischief.

"I thought you said climbing Highscore Mountain was the best thing ever?" asked Nana, who was not quite in the mood to do the same.

"Oh yeah! Um… okay, climbing Highscore Mountain is the best mountain-related thing ever, and this ledge-and-airy thing is the best ledge-end-related thing ever!" Popo decided.

Pata laughed a little at that comment. "Um… Popo? How about you and Nana go join the party over there? Mummy and daddy need to have a grown-up talk with Mr Brawl."

"OKAY! Bye, Mr Brawl! Bye, Mr Saki! Bye, Mr Mac!" cried Nana and Popo, as they ran off to ask the funny man in red dungarees on the dance floor why he was waving his arms like he was trying to fly.

"Look, I have no idea what you're talking about. Either prove that you're speaking other then baloney, or stop wasting your time, my time, and everyone else's time." Pogo snapped.

"All right then. Nogo, you know you said you're always having to tell strangers about how Nana and Popo climbed Iceicle Mountain?" Brawl sat on the freed barstools casually. Mac quickly stole the second seat, much to the displeasure of Saki.

"Yeah?..." nodded Nogo, wondering where exactly this was going.

Brawl smiled. "What say this stranger tells you the story for once?"

* * *

_Flashback, two years ago…_

The vegetable wagon was coming!

If someone had approached Nana or Popo that day, and asked them "What do you want to be when you grow up? What do you want more than anything in the world?" the response would probably along the lines of "WHO CARES! THE VEGATABLE WAGON IS COMING!"

Well, they were only children, after all.

Not surprising then, that they watched the 15-odd men pull in the old wagon with delight. Popo had to be held back by Pata to stop him running towards it with open arms. Nana was similarly excited, but being the more sensible of the two, did not need Nata to hold her back.

"Calm down, you crazy tyke! Your vegetables will get here soon enough without you running around!" Pata told her son.

"But mama, it's the vegetable wagon! The vegetable wagon!" Popo yelled excitedly. "It'll have carrot sticks and potatoes and broccoli and eggplants and everything!"

Eggplants were the peculiar favourite vegetable of both Nana and Popo, for some strange reason the two young children were not even slightly fazed by its unusual colour. Even their parents, themselves rather fond of veggies, could work out why they valued it over all other vegetables. But they did, and so every time they got an A in school, a chunk of eggplant was added to their favourite soup.

"Now, calm down. Your farther and Nana's farther are helping the nice merchants out, and you running around will only make their jobs harder." Pata said with a cheery smile on her face.

"She's right." Agreed Nata, trying to help her friend out with her son's behaviour. "Children shouldn't go running around wagons! They may get themselves hurt, or even run over…"

"Oh, don't be silly, Nata! That's ridiculous!" Pata laughed. "You're worrying too much as usual!"

"Well, you never do know what could happen. That's all I'm saying…" replied Nata.

"Well, there's a line between safety and paranoia, and I think we both now that our children wouldn't be that fool-hardy to fall under the wheels of a wagon, right, Popo?" Pata chuckled, patting him on the head happily.

"Does that mean we can go help our papas, Mama?" Nana asked her mother.

"Huh?" gasped Nata, surprised by his development. "Why do you want to help your papa with something like the veggie wagon?"

"Well…" Nana paused nervously. "They've been working really, really hard lately, and they end up coming home really, really grumpy. I just wanna help them so they don't have to be grumpy anymore!"

"Aw! Now, now, Nana, your papa will be fine! We know he's been working hard what with the shortage of fish, but when the veggie wagon comes in, everything will be okay!" Nata smiled. "Maybe when you're older you can help him out…"

"But I wanna help him no-"

"SQUAWK!"

"Huh? What was that?" asked Nata.

"WOAH! Look, mama! Look up there!" shouted Popo excitedly, pointing to the skies above.

Above them, what appeared to be a large, orange-feathered pterodactyl flew above them. Nata, Pata, Nana and Popo stared at it in amazement, and even the wagon stopped so everyone could see it.

"Wow! Thatsa big bird!" exclaimed Nana, who could get excited over any animal.

"Goodness gracious!" gasped Pata. "That's no ordinary bird- that's a albatross!"

"WOW!" exclaimed the ice climbers together.

"Really? Goodness me, you're right!" Nata said with surprise. "Where do think it lives?"

"My best guess is on Icicle Mountain… albatrosses tend to live in high altitudes, after all." Pata paused. "Wonder what it's doing here?"

"Hi, Mr big bird! Over here! We don't bite!" Nana yelled at the "big bird". The albatross ignored her and continued circling above.

"SQUAWK!"

"Hey! What you doing? Down here, Mr silly bird!" Popo yelled.

"What are you two doing?" asked Nata, curious to why two children would want a giant bird's attention.

"I wanna make friends with Mr big bird!" declared Nana enthusiastically.

"Yeah! Maybe it'll give us a ride or something!" Popo agreed ravenously.

Nata and Pata laughed heartily at this comment. "Ha ha ha! Kids these days! What will they think of next?" Pata patted the two children's heads. "Well, good luck with that!"

"We will! Because I has a really good idea!" Nana suddenly told them.

"And that would be?" asked Nata.

"TA-DA!" Nana dramatically pulled out her last two carrot sticks, and started waving them like air-traffic cones. "Here, Mr big bird! Come get the nice carrot! Come and get it!"

"Oh, you kids crack me up!" laughed Pata. "Ah, to be young again…"

Nana's efforts did seem to attract the albatross's attention, however, and it slowly started spiralling downwards.

"Yay! It's working!" celebrated Popo, who started a premature victory dance.

"My, my, it is!" realised Pata. "Smart thinking, Nana!"

"I'm always smart!" Nana said smugly.

"Is it really that safe to try to tame a albatross?" asked Nata worriedly.

"Oh, come on, Nata! Albatrosses don't eat children! It's not like it's going to take your daughter away!" Pata laughed. "She'll be fine!"

"Can you see the big bird, papa? Can you see it?" Popo shouted to his dad.

"I see it, Popo, I see it!" confirmed Pogo.

"My little daughter's going to be one heck of a bird handler!" Nogo commented, watching the albatross with awe.

By now the albatross was skimming over the rooftops of the ramshackle town, but was at the opposite end of the street to Nana. "HEY! I'm over here! Come here, or you won't get the treat, Mr big bird!" she shouted.

"SQUAWK!"

The albatross promptly turned and headed straight down the middle of the street, heading directly to Nana at high speed.

"Yay! Good Mr big bird! Clever Mr big bird!" Nana cheered.

It got closer…

"Um… it's going a bit fast, isn't it?" asked Nata.

Closer…

"SQUAWK!"

Closer…

"Mama, why isn't Mr big bird slowing down?" asked Popo nervously.

Closer…

"Um… I don't think this is really safe anymore…" gulped Pata.

Closer…

"Hey! Mr big bird! Careful, you might crash into me, and that would be…" It finally dawned on Nana that Mr big bird might not be as friendly as she had thought.

"Uh oh."

"SQUAWK!"

"NANA!" Nata and Pata grabbed their children and dived for cover just in time. They saw the man-sized bird swoop past them, and then they hit the ground. Too scared to move in case they provoked another attack, they only heard the resulting mayhem behind them.

CRASH! SMASH! BANG!

"OI!"

"SQUAWK!"

"HOLY-"

SMASH!

"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!"

WHAM! WALLOP! CRUNCH!

"SQUAWK!"

Then all that could be heard was the flapping of wings and the odd "SQUAWK!" Then they, too, faded away. Realising the albatross had left, Nata, Pata, Nana and Popo finally found the courage to look up.

It was not a pretty sight.

"Oh, boy…" groaned Pata.

"What in the world…" gasped Nata.

In front of them in plain view was what was left of the vegetable wagon, surrounded by some very surprised and shocked residents.

"Our vegetables! That darn bird took our vegetables!" roared Nogo furiously.

"Mr big bird did THAT?!?" gasped Popo in shock.

"It took all of them! There's not a single vegetable left!" Pogo realised in horror. There was worried mumblings from everyone.

"No veggies? Mr big bird stole ALL our veggies?" asked Nana, hoping she would wake up from this nightmare soon.

There was a very slow shaking of heads, and long silence, punctured by the gloomy bong of the town clock, which obviously decided it would be dramatically convenient.

The ice climbers, with tears in their eyes, did the only thing they could do.

"**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"**

"Now, this is the plan!" announced Pogo.

It had been a few hours since the vegetables had been stolen, and an emergency meeting had been called in the town hall. As Pogo and Nogo were the strongest men in town, they were chosen to lead the exhibition to get the vegetables back.

"As you all know, the albatross has taken the vegetables to it's home on Icicle Mountain, presumably on the peak. As we have a shortage of food, we intend to retrieve the vegetables as soon as possible. However, the weather tonight is not suitable for camping, so we intend to get off the mountain before midnight. This means we will be leaving as soon as this meeting is over. Any objections?" finished Pogo.

There was a consensus of muttering, but there were no objections.

"Now, I'll let Nogo explain the route. Nogo?" Pogo announced.

"Right. Icicle Mountain is unique, as you all know, as the easiest way up it is through the ice caves." Nogo pointed to a diagram of the mountain. "We'll climb up the first 20 feet on the outside, then enter the main ice caves, use our mallets to smash though the ice levels, and look for the vegetables. If for some reason we get through the ice caves without finding a single vegetable, we'll exit the caves at the top and use our height to look for the albatross's nest. We'll also look through the smaller caves when we descend just to make sure we don't get short-changed. Any questions?"

There were none. Just then, Gront, the local supplies manager, came in. "Ah! Gront!" Pogo greeted him. "Have we got enough supplies for the exhibition?"

"Good news and bad news, I'm afraid." Gront said grimly. "Good news is that we've enough safety rope and plenty of mallets!"

"That's what I like to hear." Nogo smiled. "And the bad news?"

"The bad news is that we're two mallets short, because somebody has apparently taken them without asking!" Gront complained.

"You mean they've been stolen? But who would want to steal our mallets?" asked Pogo. "We haven't had guests for days, and there's no-one I know who's that desperate for a mallet…"

"NOGO!" Nata suddenly burst into the room, with tears down her face. "Oh, Nogo! It's horrible! Nana and Popo… they've gone missing!" she cried in distress.

"The children are missing?!?" shouted Pogo.

Nata nodded. "They must have run away because they caused all this trouble… I'm scared, Nogo! I don't know what they're going to do!" she broke down on Nogo's shoulder.

"There, there… calm down… everything will be fine…" Nogo comforted her.

"That's what I kept telling her!" Pata exclaimed as she strode into the room. "I mean, it's not like they'll wonder into the tundra for no good reason! They're smarter than that!"

"Well, this is one heck of a day…" Pogo groaned. "First a albatross attacks and steals our vegetables, then two mallets go missing, and now our two children…" there was a tense silence as 2 plus 2 was put together. Two mallets going missing at the same time as two children, who have just caused a albatross to steal their vegetables, who lives on top of a mountain…

"THE CHILDREN!!!" shouted Nogo. "THEY'RE GOING TO TRY TO CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN!!!"

* * *

Yep, that's the cliffhanger. Right in the middle of a flashback. I told you would hate the cliffhanger, didn't I?

Anyway, it was my birthday a few days ago, so you all have to buy me beer! It helps me write things! Honest! Or just review, but I'll take the beer anytime!

Also, if you want more quality reading, then I implore you to read Ultiman's Smash Mind: New World. He updates faster than me, so by the time he's finished, I'll probably have the next chapter up… seriously, this guy deserves some respect. As does Sue2, his co-author! May you review counts go all the way to Mars and back! This is Brickthrower-21, going back to the grind! SEND ME YOR BOOZE ALREADY!


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